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I know that when the children have flown the nest I will have more financial freedom.
What I am finding particularly hard at the moment, is valentines day is round the corner, cards, flowers romantic suggestions of how to spend that day are everywhere...it somehow exagerates being alone. I will find it the same on fathers day too...missing 2 of the most important men in my life
first once the children have flown it will seem as if a black hole has filled in with regards to your finances. Did I ever begrudge my kids what I could give them, not a bit. It really was amazing to me how much money I had once they were on their own.
My suggestion for Valentine's Day is treat yourself to what ever your finances allow-even a lovely couple of flowers will add cheer and linger.
Father's Day you might want to take some time with your children and exchange some memories of your father. Better still, write them down so the future generations will have some history. Your father lives in your heart and memories so he is only gone in the physical-what he was and what he taught you will remain.
Wow that all sounds very traumatic. I'm so glad it's over for you now and you sound more settled, even if it's all starting to hit you now.
You're WELL out of that relationship - it sounds like he had developed something of a temper - isn't it funny how people we think we love can suddenly turn out to be very different?
Don't feel jealous of the fact that he's [apparently] having a good time, just feel sorry for the poor woman who has to put up with him next! I always got on great with my ex's new girlfriend - she was welcome to him.
People on here are lovely, you'll be addicted in no time
My relationship of 25 years came to the end just before christmas. At the same time my dear father passed away and I found my feelings all confused and jumbled up with grief. I was almost numb for a while. People at work confused that for me being able to cope...in a way so did I.
Thats why it was a suprise to find myself feeling so much pain now.
Now the real me is starting to resurface and I realise the pain of the relationship break up was hidden by the grief for my father and its just started to hit me hard.
I am 42 and to be honest quite lonely, I love my 3 children, but as teenagers they have their own lives, quite rightly so as well.
This weekend has been very bad. I Spent the time feeling down, dont know why....well, yes I do. It seems everyone else has a life except me!
Eldest (18) is with his GF (quite rightly so). Middle son (nearly 15) spent his weekend with his friends, Daughter (12) spent the weekend with my mum and her friends..
I just spent it doing housework!
I have come to the conclusion I am lonely, and it will get worse. I need to take a leaf out of my mums book.
She is 70 and yet she goes scottish dancing, badminton, Bowls, bridge etc...
I spend all my time alone and go no where. Hard when you suddenly find yourself single at 42! It was easier before, I had my dear father to think about, now he has passed I have nothing to fill my days, hence doing 20 hours overtime a week!
To make matters worse (and I know this shouldnt bother me...but it does, god how it does!)
My ex is happy, playing golf, going to the gym, out with his friends drinkng, eating. He is off to Portugal in May and then off to Dubai with friends in September. I resent the fact he dosnt miss the chidlren...or me! I suppose I wanted him to at least acknowledge the fact I meant something to him once (25 years is a lot of life to share with someone...isnt it)
Ok....so that was the weekend, I suppose its understandable I turned to food to help me feel better. Today is a new day, and I will try harder.
I am 43 on 24th March (Easter Monday) so I am making that the day my life will start. I am going to book up something for every saturday from then on. The only thing is I will have to do everything alone..as all my friends are in couples and although mean well, they have no time for a recently single lady...I am seen as a threat in some ways..they either think my unfortunateness will rub off on their relationship or I will poach their hubby! (which I wont!)
Anyway...going out alone is scary but not as scary as spending week after week alone watching the telly
Any advice appreciated
Hi Jenny
Your time is now... don't wait... don't procrastinate... do it for you.. Not!! for someone else. If you want the change, make it start right now.
jfc...I'm sorry for your situation. I know how you feel, because something similar happened to me about 13 months ago. If you're anything like me, you have a while to go before you'll start thinking straight again. I can't offer any advice other than it will pass, eventually, and you'll start feeling better about things. Find something to keep yourself busy, you'll need it. If you ever just need to vent or cry on someone's shoulder, you can pm me. I'm pretty good at listening.
Firekeg, Crawley has some positive points, but I have lived here all my life and am now considering moving out. Its got so big now, and with Gatwick Airport on the doorstep its going to get bigger to.
Now, I love Brighton, very cosmoplitan place, full of all nationalities and from all walks of life. I spent most of my youth there. (25 mins on the train from where I live)
Firekeg, Crawley has some positive points, but I have lived here all my life and am now considering moving out. Its got so big now, and with Gatwick Airport on the doorstep its going to get bigger to.
Now, I love Brighton, very cosmoplitan place, full of all nationalities and from all walks of life. I spent most of my youth there. (25 mins on the train from where I live)
I would love to go back and see everything.. that would be sooo much fun Now, that I am soo much older I could actually remember everything I experienced
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Hi Jenny 
