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I found this post kind of offensive. Waiting tables and bartending are my fallbacks if the sh*t ever hits the fan for me professionally. I thank God I have those skills because I know that with them I will never see the streets.
Think of the '08-'09 layoffs. Remember hearing all of the stories about corporate professional types about to lose their unemployment and face homelessness? That never happens to people who know how to wait tables and do it well.
I have a good job and make close to 6 figures. Guess what? I STILL go in and bartend at my old place on occasion for extra money. I don't feel too worried what 'uppity' people think of me when I walk out in one night with an extra $300, 400+ that's just play money to me. I was able to buy awesome Christmas presents for my folks this year with that money. I bought my mom a limited edition set of vases from Neiman Marcus she'd be wanting forever. I bought my dad a top of the line Traeger grill. And didn't have to go into debt one dime. Because of the skills I had at that 'lowly' other job.
Judging anyone based off just their occupation is pretty elitist. I am proud of the time I spent serving. I learned more there than I learned in college actually. It taught me a lot about people, how shallow some can be. It also taught me a lot about the dignity of work. And the people that still work there? Grown men, many of them, supporting entire families. Making over 100K. So don't judge. It very much is a career for them and one they are quite successful at. From where I'm standing anyway.
Why are you offended?
You hardly sound like someone who lacks ambition...I don't think your situation is the same as the guy the op is complaining about...
Why are you offended?
You hardly sound like someone who lacks ambition...I don't think your situation is the same as the guy the op is complaining about...
I am offended because there's a perception out there that waiters and waitresses are deadbeats. When in reality they work just as hard (if not harder) than everyone else. I was subjected to it for years so it's hitting a raw nerve I guess.
Sure, that's one way to look at it. But if I'm not attracted to a guy that's content with waiting tables, then I'm not attracted to him, I don't think it's appalling at all. What someone does and how passionate they are when talking about their job is important to me. Not many waiters will come home from a long work day and talk about how happy they are cleaning the tables and dealing with rude customers. And if cleaning tables and dealing with rude customers is a passion of theirs (if you want to argue that you know people who are happy doing so), then I most likely won't find many common interests with them.
Expecting people to be fine with dating a person of any educational background/career is just absurd to me. It doesn't work that way for most folks. For the ones that can truly disregard the fact and find a connection deep enough to sustain the relationship, kudos to you!
I think this post kind of highlights the uppity attitude and condescending view many people have toward people working as servers. It shows people have no clue really what's really going on.
I knew a number of people considered "career servers" I guess that were smarter than probably a majority of people now going to grad school. The difference of course is that you're currently working as opposed to overpaying for a college education that can barely pay itself back nowadays. Many people in college don't even have a real plan to pay back what they owe.
I'll just keep it simple and say that you have career servers and bartenders netting more that those with college undergrad and graduate degrees. Those that went to school get to land the high paying, high pressure, high turnover positions with all that student loan debt.
Those working the restaurant generally have other means of providing for themselves and their families financially. Some I knew worked as teachers, others with selling arts/crafts, others music.. Those are some of the more common ones.
Every job has it's less desirable issues such as cleaning table tops and dealing with rude people. Actually find me a job that doesn't deal with rude customer/cliets/whatever you want to call them.
I am offended because there's a perception out there that waiters and waitresses are deadbeats. When in reality they work just as hard (if not harder) than everyone else. I was subjected to it for years so it's hitting a raw nerve I guess.
I worked as a server for years in three different 4 diamond resorts actually. I actually had a lot of fun at work although it was a lot of work. It's a challenge serving 5 or 6 tables three courses at once. One table might have an anniversary. Another a business meeting. All spending $40 a person at least. Could be purchasing up end wine. Not a low pressure situation necessarily. I enjoyed the work and thought I was good at it.
Tasting the specials and the chefs serving up little fixings for us was pretty cool as well. We didn't go hungry and we were tasting top of the line food.
Ironically my longest relationship has been from someone I met through friends in the restaurant industry. Not a bad way to meet some extremely cute young ladies. Too bad most of them are absolutely filled with drama lol
It's amazing how bitter some posters are toward the OP over a guy the don't even know.
I don't think it's wrong if people are content with the same job. I also don't think it's wrong if people want to pursue other avenues in life. It stands to reason likeminded people fair better together. If the guy is happy with his job, he'd be happier with someone happy with their job the OP is an ambitious person, she'll be happier with another ambitious person. An ambitious person will get tired of someone one who doesn't share their level of ambition, and likewise, someone happy in their job will tire of "keeping up" with the ambitious person. It is what it is: not a good match.
Suppose you guts met a really nice girl who "checked all the boxes" except that she was average looking, somewhat overweight, and not interested in getting into better shape. I'm certain you'd be just as disgusted as the OP if people considered you shallow for not being interested in her. We all have our preferences. It's better to be honest about what we're seeking than leading people on.
I am offended because there's a perception out there that waiters and waitresses are deadbeats. When in reality they work just as hard (if not harder) than everyone else. I was subjected to it for years so it's hitting a raw nerve I guess.
See, that's the thing. I think with OP, she is saying he is content with waiting tables.
With you, you did it because you had to during the 08/09 recession. Now, yeah, you're doing it at the side WITH your regular job. You obviously have had bigger ambitions to do something else, that is why you have a FT job now and bartending as a side "play money".
No one is putting down the work. Hell, I have a pretty decent 9-5 now but always wanted to bartend PT like you.. if I knew how
I think with most people (as myself), if someone is content with waiting tables then all for you but I don't think I could date someone who doesn't aim to reach higher.. intellectually, monetary, or finding their "passion". Maybe waiting table is a "passion" but no one goes through school and say "I'm going to wait tables as a career!". The only people who would, imho, would be those interested is hospitality & tourism, maybe waiting tables as their foot in the door to their dream resort. But those people obviously always want to gain exp and advance up the chain, into maybe shift leader, manager, etc.
See, that's the thing. I think with OP, she is saying he is content with waiting tables.
With you, you did it because you had to during the 08/09 recession. Now, yeah, you're doing it at the side WITH your regular job. You obviously have had bigger ambitions to do something else, that is why you have a FT job now and bartending as a side "play money".
No one is putting down the work. Hell, I have a pretty decent 9-5 now but always wanted to bartend PT like you.. if I knew how
I think with most people (as myself), if someone is content with waiting tables then all for you but I don't think I could date someone who doesn't aim to reach higher.. intellectually, monetary, or finding their "passion". Maybe waiting table is a "passion" but no one goes through school and say "I'm going to wait tables as a career!". The only people who would, imho, would be those interested is hospitality & tourism, maybe waiting tables as their foot in the door to their dream resort. But those people obviously always want to gain exp and advance up the chain, into maybe shift leader, manager, etc.
I understand where you're coming from but serving is actually quite lucrative when you get into fine dining. The check average at the place I worked at was over $100 per person. I would typically serve about 50 people in one shift. That's $5,000 in sales made in 6-7 hours of which you take a 20% cut. I'm just simply pointing out that you don't have to go into management to make killer money necessarily. I understand it's not the norm, but making over $150 per hour is not something to sneeze at.
I understand where you're coming from but serving is actually quite lucrative when you get into fine dining. The check average at the place I worked at was over $100 per person. I would typically serve about 50 people in one shift. That's $5,000 in sales made in 6-7 hours of which you take a 20% cut. I'm just simply pointing out that you don't have to go into management to make killer money necessarily. I understand it's not the norm, but making over $150 per hour is not something to sneeze at.
Oh no, I know it's very lucrative at the right place, esp in your area (NYC) with all the fine dining restaurants around (and rich ppl who can afford it ). I think it just goes back to the fact of being "content" with where they are. If someone is "content" with serving, the money is probably good, stable, and probably consistent day to day- give or take. They don't want to aim higher. Just like any other job, if management is not for them, they will probably be an Associate forever. With most people, myself included, we always want that next promotion or next big thing. If my S.O came home with a promotion offer and he goes Nah, not going to take it because I'm content at the current position, I'd prob slap him (LOL half joking..).
With most people, myself included, we always want that next promotion or next big thing.
Just like anything else, I think there has to be a balance/moderation.
A former CEO of my company is extremely career oriented. The type that is only home on weekends. From what I can tell, him and his wife don't really have a relationship beyond supporting their one daughter and "financial convenience". That's not the life that I would be happy in...
If my wife passed up a promotion because it would mean placing the family in second priority, I certainly wouldn't hold it against her.
I wouldn't pass judgement on a person's choice in job/profession. However, I certainly wouldn't want to be supporting them as a dependent. I married a partner in life not a dependent. My life has offered me a different type of perspective when it comes to how I perceive people. So I guess if I were in that situation and I really liked the person, the fact that they work in food services, retail etc wouldn't bother me one bit.
If my S.O came home with a promotion offer and he goes Nah, not going to take it because I'm content at the current position, I'd prob slap him (LOL half joking..).
I just did this. The promotion offer came with an approximate 15% pay raise, but having been in that position before, there is WAY more than 15% more stress. No, thanks. If my SO is gonna get pissed about that, she can go to hell. I'd prefer a SO that values my mental stability over a higher status/paycheck.
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