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I wouldn't go THAT far. I wouldn't say it's the BEST option, but like OLD, I think it's a perfectly good option to supplement your existing efforts, assuming that you genuinely enjoy volunteering and aren't doing it "to meet people". It falls in line with "meeting those with similar interests" (always a good thing), and as a bonus, volunteering (by nature) tends to draw those with kinder hearts...something most people value highly.
Technically you could meet a possibly compatible new partner pretty much anywhere that humans are interacting.
It's funny to me, one of the places (at least the physical places) most often mentioned as a spot to meet possible love interests, is "the bar." For me, that is about the last place I'd consider to meet a new love interest. Mostly when I go to "the bar" it's to shoot pool, and I have never seen anyone in those bars I'd want to date. The men who have shown an interest in me have been the skeevy, course, drunk sort...but it's a pool hall. So it is what it is.
Dance club type bars? I don't dance. I don't drink. So...nope.
Metal concert venue bars? I do go sometimes, but it's so loud you can't hear yourself think, let alone chat anybody up, except maybe in line.
There is only one exception possibly and that's the annual kink community meetup at this one gay bar downtown (coming up again tomorrow, yay!) but that's not so much a bar setting as far as the vibe, but just a venue for the community, lots of friends existing and potential new ones, which pleases my extroverted side no end. But I know those people from this party, and that discussion group, and the other workshop...not just "met at the bar." At least OLD is conducive to conversation, assuming you are lucky enough to get matched with someone halfway literate.
Maybe it is me but dating wise, I have noticed that women in their 20's tend to be extremely superficial. With internet dating average women are easily able to find men out of their leagues to have sex with as guys drop their standards for sex. These women in my opinion would never make good wives when they decide to settle for the simple fact its like winning the lottery and never been able to cash in because these guys won't commit to them.
Honestly, if I wasn't 6'5"and didn't work out regularly, I would wager that my dating life would be a complete dud. Of course this isn't the case for all women.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31
I wouldn't go THAT far. I wouldn't say it's the BEST option, but like OLD, I think it's a perfectly good option to supplement your existing efforts, assuming that you genuinely enjoy volunteering and aren't doing it "to meet people". It falls in line with "meeting those with similar interests" (always a good thing), and as a bonus, volunteering (by nature) tends to draw those with kinder hearts...something most people value highly.
No, I don't do it to meet dates of course. I never expected it to. I've been doing it consistently for 10 years and longer on and off, it just isn't a good way to go about it. People occasionally chime in that giving nature talks (I was a wildlife biologist by training initially) to kids would be a great way to meet single moms (which I'm open to dating) whose kids come to the classes/talks, but hundreds of talks later, I've found its a horrible venue for meeting people. I do it because I like talking and getting people excited about animals, especially poorer understood taxa. The alumni group stuff is just one of those community serving deals. You're much better off going and checking out a cool band to meet women.
You see this. I do not. These people, and I've known plenty, are just too busy (especially those building businesses or organizations) to meet people traditional ways. They're not going to bars, to parties, or clubs. That's fine, they just don't have or want to spend the time doing these things. I've never known anyone to marry someone from a meet up group, or that they volunteered with, or was involved with community theatre, anything like that. From OLD? Yeah, a bunch. From bar or party hooks ups? Yes, just as many in the 20s, 30s as there are in their 40s.
Meeting people organically in your 20s is pretty easy (relatively), but not from volunteering, but from partying, seeing music, going to bars, etc. The real workaholic 20 somethings I have dealt with in the past decade from different jobs were mostly using OLD as it was more efficient.
My friend met her husband volunteering. They have been married 7 years now.
These busy/building/creating/active in the community types are the most likely to do OLD when they want to date, from what I see. They're too busy to meet people the traditional ways.
That is nuts that someone would be too busy to date if they are single. There is no higher priority.
That's twice now that you've referred to OLD as a fall back option; something that people do if they are otherwise unable to meet people in the real world.
This is not automatically (or even mainly) the case. There are plenty of people who genuinely prefer online dating; some for the reasons that Timberline is suggesting, some because of an introverted nature, some for the wealth of options available. There are also those who use OLD to supplement their current efforts.
To view OLD as a last resort for the desperate is simply an outdated notion.
Correct. In the same way Amazon takes sales from brick n mortar retail, OLD takes socializing away from public places. And both in significant (huge) numbers.
It's easy to assume people join OLD and continue trying to meet people anywhere, but I think a huge percentage shift entirely to OLD. Afterall, they get used to seeing photos, reading profiles... they get used to shopping from a catalog. Plus OLD may keep them too busy for additional M/F socialization.
Short of OLD, people also get used to online profiles like Facebook. So meeting a complete stranger with no background info at all has become very scary for younger people often raised on fear and distrust.
Last edited by Back to NE; 12-31-2015 at 02:36 PM..
Reason: typo
That's twice now that you've referred to OLD as a fall back option; something that people do if they are otherwise unable to meet people in the real world.
This is not automatically (or even mainly) the case. There are plenty of people who genuinely prefer online dating; some for the reasons that Timberline is suggesting, some because of an introverted nature, some for the wealth of options available. There are also those who use OLD to supplement their current efforts.
To view OLD as a last resort for the desperate is simply an outdated notion.
Superficial how? Women are rejected for superficial reasons all the time. It's not just the women who are superficial.
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