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Old 01-04-2016, 02:23 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,400 posts, read 6,351,299 times
Reputation: 9636

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Quote:
Originally Posted by halfamazing View Post
Women should think twice before imposing their own insecurities. It is said all the time and it comes up in all conversations by men. This happens when a woman is really good looking and a man is overwhelmed to the point of "I hit the jack pot". The OP must obviously be very good looking.

The problem when you get so psychologically deep into surface matters, it stunts true growth.
This. I got this a lot, and I understand where this is coming from. I can also understand why it would irk someone. In some ways it perpetuates the idea that good-looking people have it "easy" and have no problem getting relationships, etc. It also assumes that looks are responsible for someone's dating or relationship success. I don't necessarily disagree with this as it relates to this sentiment/saying.

Heck, I even thought it when I came across my husband, but not because I think he's incredibly handsome in that traditional/classic sort of way, but because he was the "perfect" match and what I was looking for that I was surprised he was available. No doubt had we crossed paths in person I would have assumed he was attached, and vice versa.

But here's the thing, the vast majority of people in the dating scene have been in and out of relationships. It's not like these individuals are perpetually single.
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Old 01-04-2016, 03:19 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,285,738 times
Reputation: 8628
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
This is so weird, I would have totally taken it the opposite way. As in, "You are SO incredibly awesome that I'm thunderstruck, and pretty much thrilled, that you're available."

Not "there's something wrong with you" but more along the lines of "there must be something wrong with all the guys of the world that one hasn't managed to snap you up."

Is part of the interpretation perhaps in how we see ourselves? And also how we see others and their motives (i.e. someone wants to compliment v. someone wants to get in a slam)?
No I think it is rude. I never ask a stranger why are you single because it's none of my business.
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Old 01-04-2016, 03:25 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,285,738 times
Reputation: 8628
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfamazing View Post
Internalizing negativity may be the reason why people are always looking for love in the first place but remaining single. Same how people are always looking for a job but take the "you are not qualified" statement as there is something wrong with you. You turn that into a positive and stop searching and reaching for excuses.

Secret, if you take an old and tired opening statement and turn it into a negative by thinking that the person is saying something is wrong with you, then you are simply making excuses and following the herd. You are then looking for every opportunity not to commit. It's a defense mech. You need to blow past that and look for substance. It's the same for all things in life.
I said how I felt about the question and I still think it is rude to ask someone you barely know that. That's it and I'm not going to argue about it.
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Old 01-04-2016, 03:43 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,920 posts, read 7,692,289 times
Reputation: 16655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique View Post
This. I got this a lot, and I understand where this is coming from. I can also understand why it would irk someone. In some ways it perpetuates the idea that good-looking people have it "easy" and have no problem getting relationships, etc. It also assumes that looks are responsible for someone's dating or relationship success. I don't necessarily disagree with this as it relates to this sentiment/saying.

Heck, I even thought it when I came across my husband, but not because I think he's incredibly handsome in that traditional/classic sort of way, but because he was the "perfect" match and what I was looking for that I was surprised he was available. No doubt had we crossed paths in person I would have assumed he was attached, and vice versa.

But here's the thing, the vast majority of people in the dating scene have been in and out of relationships. It's not like these individuals are perpetually single.
That's basically what I get from it.

When people ask, "Why don't you have a bf?" it's usually after they have been associating with me for a while. My initial thoughts are, "Is everyone suppose to be paired up or something?" I believe there are a lot of perfectly healthy people out there who are perpetually single. The media and society has a lot of people thinking everyone is suppose to pair off at some point. The movie Hancock is a perfect example of this.

Another thing I believe people have a habit of doing is projecting their own feelings and opinions on others. I know not everyone thinks like this but I've been lectured about it so many times, I become incredibly skeptical and suspicious when someone asks me.
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Old 01-04-2016, 03:46 PM
 
Location: on a big rock hurling through space
347 posts, read 424,209 times
Reputation: 485
You could say: "Just lucky, I guess", "I don't know" "haven't met the right person"
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Old 01-04-2016, 04:45 PM
 
8,012 posts, read 8,186,123 times
Reputation: 12159
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfamazing View Post
Internalizing negativity may be the reason why people are always looking for love in the first place but remaining single. Same how people are always looking for a job but take the "you are not qualified" statement as there is something wrong with you. You turn that into a positive and stop searching and reaching for excuses.

Secret, if you take an old and tired opening statement and turn it into a negative by thinking that the person is saying something is wrong with you, then you are simply making excuses and following the herd. You are then looking for every opportunity not to commit. It's a defense mech. You need to blow past that and look for substance. It's the same for all things in life.
Excuse for what? The term excuse seems to be some sort of trendy buzzword. It's really this simple. People just need to mind there own business at times.
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Old 01-04-2016, 08:11 PM
 
1,481 posts, read 1,222,033 times
Reputation: 1777
Quote:
Originally Posted by JasperJade View Post
Oh, you could have SO much fun with this.

"My ex didn't like my pet orangutan. He said it was Charlie or him. Of course I chose Charlie. No one snuggles quite like Charlie!"

"I decided to get rid of 185 pounds of unwanted flab: My ex."

"We didn't share the same vision. Or hear the same voices."

And my favorite: "He had it coming."
Lol. Love the first one!
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Old 01-04-2016, 09:34 PM
 
924 posts, read 748,752 times
Reputation: 871
For me, it's because it would be really hard to find a guy who's offbeat enough to be a good match for me, but still conservative/straight-laced enough to fit in well with my family.
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Old 01-04-2016, 09:43 PM
 
Location: Upper Darby, PA
403 posts, read 471,584 times
Reputation: 156
I like that question better than "where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
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Old 01-05-2016, 02:16 AM
 
864 posts, read 1,451,019 times
Reputation: 1142
Whenever someone asks me why I'm single, or why I'm not "taken yet", my response is that I'm happy being single until I meet someone amazing enough to make me consider changing that.
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