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Old 01-04-2016, 12:44 PM
 
4,608 posts, read 3,804,974 times
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What are some indicators that things might go well? Things you see that warm you up to a person? The more obscure, the better...what is something that you'd notice that says that they're the kind of person you'd want to be with.

There's a difference between something like this and "turn ons", though obviously there's going to be some correlation

Some of mine (for women, as I'm a straight guy) :

Animal lover - This one feels too obvious to put here, but too important NOT to. I can't think of a more obvious, clear-cut advertisement for "good person" than someone who genuinely loves animals. Points for owning one. More points for it being a dog (they're a lot of work). Even more for volunteer or paid work that involves helping animals.

Alcohol drinker - Triple points for that alcohol being beer. Obviously, I'm not in search of an alcoholic, but it's been my experience that women who can appreciate liquor correlate to women who like to go out, are social, and know what they want. The beer-drinking subgroup (again, my experience) tend to be more down-to-earth, maybe a "path less chosen" type.

Passion for, and skill at, cooking - I don't think it takes much to be a good cook, but women that enjoy it and have a real desire to do it.....just screams "caregiver" to me, in a good way. Plus, I love food, and I'm dieting right now so I'm thinking about it more than usual.

Attraction to non-traditional celebrities - This is one that might be specific to me, but this has been a solid barometer for whether or not I'll get along with a woman. For every 10 women that want a Channing Tatum, there's that one that pines for Jeff Goldblum. And that's the cool one. My best relationships were with women that burned for Ed Norton, Timothy Olyphant, and John Malkovich, respectively.

Women with a broken past - I hate for this to look like I'm attracted to something cliche like "daddy issues", but I've been through some s**t in my life, and a woman that's a little bit "broken" in the same way that I view myself is super, SUPER attractive.

I'm certain I'll think of more.
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Old 01-04-2016, 12:50 PM
 
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Another list of requirements that does nothing but add to the already ridiculous list previously stated by others.
FYI, non drinkers are as much fun as those who drink casually and a recovering alcoholic won't be drinking even casually if they are smart. So you can get a broken recovering alcoholic and still have fun.
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Old 01-04-2016, 12:53 PM
 
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I know people want their mate to be compatible in all sorts of ways, but at times it seems that most are looking to date a mirror image of themselves. Unless you are homosexual, I am not sure why you would want to. I find differences between myself and my GF fascinating, and couldn't care less that she is a democrat and I lean more to the conservative side. It allows us to learn about each other and have many lively discussions because of it. Dating someone who is too much like yourself, would be incredibly boring.
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Old 01-04-2016, 12:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Another list of requirements that does nothing but add to the already ridiculous list previously stated by others.
FYI, non drinkers are as much fun as those who drink casually and a recovering alcoholic won't be drinking even casually if they are smart. So you can get a broken recovering alcoholic and still have fun.
I never said anything at all about requirements. I've had perfectly good relationships with women who had none of the aforementioned qualities. I suspect that someone who would read otherwise must have a chip on their shoulder.
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Old 01-04-2016, 12:56 PM
 
35,324 posts, read 25,265,824 times
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Chemistry and compatibility.; being complimentary.

Good taste in music (I'm not saying the same taste as I) and someone who isn't uptight and has lived life some is pretty important as well.


Though I like your list overall, Hivemind. I had red flag lists because it means someone is looking for negatives. I prefer to look for positives.
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Old 01-04-2016, 12:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Question2015 View Post
I know people want their mate to be compatible in all sorts of ways, but at times it seems that most are looking to date a mirror image of themselves. Unless you are homosexual, I am not sure why you would want to. I find differences between myself and my GF fascinating, and couldn't care less that she is a democrat and I lean more to the conservative side. It allows us to learn about each other and have many lively discussions because of it. Dating someone who is too much like yourself, would be incredibly boring.
I'm guilty of this to some extent. There are some pretty significant opposite features that I like as well. In particular, I really like when someone's skill set is opposite of mine, besides the obvious benefits of effectively doubling our combined usefulness!
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Old 01-04-2016, 12:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Chemistry and compatibility.; being complimentary.

Good taste in music (I'm not saying the same taste as I) and someone who isn't uptight and has lived life some is pretty important as well.


Though I like your list overall, Hivemind. I had red flag lists because it means someone is looking for negatives. I prefer to look for positives.
That was really the idea, though I knew that some people would misinterpret the list as "requirements" (see CSD's post) or take offense at some of the things mentioned (again, see CSD's post)

Complimentary is a good one. Towards anybody. Waitstaff is a pretty big one, but even the kind of person that will tell someone they like their coat, or envy their ability to play the piano....anything at all in the harmless "make someone else feel good" department.
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Old 01-04-2016, 01:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
I'm guilty of this to some extent. There are some pretty significant opposite features that I like as well. In particular, I really like when someone's skill set is opposite of mine, besides the obvious benefits of effectively doubling our combined usefulness!
Its very natural to be, and I was this way some years ago as well. Then I woke up and realized how much I appreciate differences in those close to me. As an example, I love feminine traits in women. But it is difficult to find truly feminine women, because of social change of last few decades. In general, todays women are less feminine than their mothers and todays men are less masculine than their fathers. That creates many issues in relationships, yet very few people get that.
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Old 01-04-2016, 01:02 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
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Add to the list of green flags:

- Lack of red flags.
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Old 01-04-2016, 01:03 PM
 
4,608 posts, read 3,804,974 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Question2015 View Post
Its very natural to be, and I was this way some years ago as well. Then I woke up and realized how much I appreciate differences in those close to me. As an example, I love feminine traits in women. But it is difficult to find truly feminine women, because of social change of last few decades. In general, todays women are less feminine than their mothers and todays men are less masculine than their fathers. That creates many issues in relationships, yet very few people get that.
Even today, I probably like someone that's about 75% me, and 25% the polar opposite of me
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