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The following is completely hypothetical and fictional: Let's say throughout the 1990s, you seriously dated somebody for several years. The person lived in New York. Then it went really sour, you broke up, the person doesn't want to talk to you and stopped responding to your correspondence (which would have been phone calls and possibly e-mails "back then"). That person is out of your life and doesn't want you back in theirs, so you ceased all contact for the past few years.
But, you see on the news that 9/11 happened in New York. Do you try to contact that person, just to make sure that they're okay? Even though you aren't on speaking terms, you still care that they're doing well, and you don't want anything bad to happen to them.
Again, nothing happened between me and anyone else during that timeframe. It's a totally fictional scenario. I'm just using a major catastrophe from history as an example, since a minor event isn't a good reason to reach out to someone who isn't talking to you.
No. It is obvious they want no contact which is generally best for some couples especially if their break up was less than friendly.
But in a major catastrophe, would you reach out to a relative who cut you off?
I guess I'm confused about how you're supposed to shut down caring about somebody else. Even if you already moved on romantically, you don't spend a chunk of your life in a serious relationship with someone, then act like you never did.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nc17
But in a major catastrophe, would you reach out to a relative who cut you off?
I guess I'm confused about how you're supposed to shut down caring about somebody else. Even if you already moved on romantically, you don't spend a chunk of your life in a serious relationship with someone, then act like you never did.
You do make a great point. It really depends.....If the relationship ended on really bad terms then no.
The following is completely hypothetical and fictional: Let's say throughout the 1990s, you seriously dated somebody for several years. The person lived in New York. Then it went really sour, you broke up, the person doesn't want to talk to you and stopped responding to your correspondence (which would have been phone calls and possibly e-mails "back then"). That person is out of your life and doesn't want you back in theirs, so you ceased all contact for the past few years.
But, you see on the news that 9/11 happened in New York. Do you try to contact that person, just to make sure that they're okay? Even though you aren't on speaking terms, you still care that they're doing well, and you don't want anything bad to happen to them.
Again, nothing happened between me and anyone else during that timeframe. It's a totally fictional scenario. I'm just using a major catastrophe from history as an example, since a minor event isn't a good reason to reach out to someone who isn't talking to you.
No.
I have contacted exs to ensure they were okay, but those parted on speaking terms, albeit infrequently.
If it was made clear that they wanted no contact, why would something serious like a terrorist attack or a natural disaster mean they now want to be contacted by you?
But in a major catastrophe, would you reach out to a relative who cut you off?
I guess I'm confused about how you're supposed to shut down caring about somebody else. Even if you already moved on romantically, you don't spend a chunk of your life in a serious relationship with someone, then act like you never did.
No and I have no problem not becoming emotionally attached, it is a learned self preservation response as the result of a less than stellar childhood.
There is no acting like there was no relationship so I am not sure where you got that. It is merely a continued respect of their wishes for no contact.
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