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Get your house and find a woman your age. They will be gladly taking a guy with a property and no kids and ex wife. And if you have hair, teeth, and no beer belly, your dating pool is pretty big.
Single, well-paying FT job, own home, no emotional baggage of an ex-wife or kids? He'd be a frickin' unicorn in Portland.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck
Well I'm a 40+ year old woman, which according to the slobs on this forum means I should just kill myself, and yet I haven't given up.
I know, right? Maybe all of us "fogies" (which I believe is now 25+) should get together and "drink the Kool-aid" if you know what I mean.
The only thing going good for me is that I have a good career. I am going to be buying a new house after this winter. The projects I plan to do with the new place and things that I want to buy to make my house look. Awesome are making me happy. I like coming up with new ideas as to what I will do with the new place. Plus I am going on vacation to Cozunel in the first week of February. So as relationship and to have a family, is my life over for that since I see younger people and people my age already settling down? Is it too late? How about all the plans I am planning to do? Should I just forget about it?
My friend waited till 45 to get married to his wife who was 35. They settled down in a loft in Soho, had a son when my friend was 50 and last week a daughter when friend was 53. They just moved to Malibu where he got a big IT start up job with tons of options.
When he was 40 he lived in a rental with three room-mates. His first marriage was at 45. BTW his wife is ten years younger and use to be a stripper at Pure Platinum in Florida and even at 43 has a rocking hard bod. He has one of those Charlie Sheen type houses that multi millionaires live in.
Yes, it sounds like marriage was a mistake you both chose to make. And to think, there you were, on bended knee, asking her to spend the rest of her life with you.
If only my engagement was like that.
Instead, it was one big old stinking red flag.
Flew thousands of miles to go spend time with future in laws.
Two days before I asked her formally she just about tore my head off regarding the way I handed her an object (I was not sufficiently effete in my wrist angle or some such). I was practically ready to fly home alone and call the whole thing off. But I went against my better judgement and got engaged. I was scared of becoming the male version of an old maid. Also, I suppose I felt some guilt about going that far into the relationship and potentially calling things off. Sometimes, we have met the enemy and he is us.
I have a feeling that all the guys telling you to date as young as possible are probably in their 20's to early 30's. Just a hunch.
40 is not old. It's not too late for happiness. Cut out the toxic things in your life and focus on things that make you happy. If you want to get married and have a family - just look for the right person. It's much more important to find the right person than to find a woman as young as possible to provide you with children. First of all, no woman knows how fertile she is until she starts trying. A woman can be infertile at any age. Better to pick the right person to share your life with and deal with anything that might come your way than to pick someone based on their youth and end up divorced after a couple of years. Life can be hard - you need to find someone that makes the whole journey better - not just more aesthetically pleasing!
I'm turning 40 soon and while I'm in a different place in my life than you are, I feel your pain! It's hard! But I look around me and I see people living full, happy lives well into their 80's. Life is what you make of it. Don't waste precious time worrying about 40. Just live!
Sometimes I wonder why didn't good things happen for me and happy things go for others? I turned 40 years old this past September and it seems like nothing is going good.
If it is no good then, it must have not been very good for me since a bit after you were born? Anyway, I liked the 80s more than the 70s and I was more the 40 in the 80s
Why would he want a woman who is 40 who has most likely hit the wall and lost her sexual appeal? And if not, will be hitting it in 5-10 years.
Much better to get a woman who is 25-30 imo.
LOL! I agree that he should focus on younger women, but for a different reason. The hitting the wall comment cracked me up.
My preference for younger women has to do with older women being bossy and demanding (not all older women ofc). A real man is "this" and a real man is "that" and yada yada. Younger women tend to be more carefree, and also willing to let the relationship happen - if it moves quickly, great; if not, that's great too.
Last edited by svendrell; 01-06-2016 at 03:28 PM..
In general they still have some more maturation to do. There are exceptions, but 20-somethings are usually immature still. Like you said there's nothing wrong with that if that's what you really want, but it seems to me that an older male in the OP's range would be much happier with a companion who's closer to his own age.
LOL! I agree that he should focus on younger women, but for a different reason. The hitting the wall comment cracked me up.
My preference for younger women has to do with older women being bossy and demanding (not all older women ofc). A real man is "this" and a real man is "that" and yada yada. Younger women tend to be more carefree, and also willing to let the relationship happen - if it moves quickly, great; if not, that's great too.
you know that older women are way more relaxed? Stuff that drove me nuts 15 years ago will not make me angry nowadays. We are way less drama. We don't cry if we have a bad hair day. We don't freak out if you don't text back within a minute. We are less likely to accuse you of stuff because we can read in between the lines more.
And we appreciate. We have our own income, live, beliefs. We are more likely to be happy about little stuff because we appreciate life more. And our sex peak is UP.
Younger people are carefree which equals to naivity. They will not sympathize with you if you complain about your tax return, or your troubles at work because they don't have that life experience yet. THey most likely haven't had emergencies/accidents/landlord troubles/missed promotions/flooded bathrooms/mortgage/sicknesses/weird neighbors/elderly and sick parents/.........
Don't you wanna have real conversations and not just get "LOLs" as response when you are texting?
If you are extremely immature or have arrested development, it might be better if you date somebody MUCH younger. But if you are in the mental state of a 40 year old, you'll do better with a woman in the age range +/- 5-7 years.
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