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you know that older women are way more relaxed? Stuff that drove me nuts 15 years ago will not make me angry nowadays. We are way less drama. We don't cry if we have a bad hair day. We don't freak out if you don't text back within a minute. We are less likely to accuse you of stuff because we can read in between the lines more.
And we appreciate. We have our own income, live, beliefs. We are more likely to be happy about little stuff because we appreciate life more. And our sex peak is UP.
Younger people are carefree which equals to naivity. They will not sympathize with you if you complain about your tax return, or your troubles at work because they don't have that life experience yet. THey most likely haven't had emergencies/accidents/landlord troubles/missed promotions/flooded bathrooms/mortgage/sicknesses/weird neighbors/elderly and sick parents/.........
Don't you wanna have real conversations and not just get "LOLs" as response when you are texting?
If you are extremely immature or have arrested development, it might be better if you date somebody MUCH younger. But if you are in the mental state of a 40 year old, you'll do better with a woman in the age range +/- 5-7 years.
I think you have several valid points.
I have dated older women who have been much more kind and tender in who they are than younger women. This really shines with those who have been on their own and have supported themselves. They have a really down-to-earth quality.
The increased sex drive, I agree. That's definitely true.
The increased empathy from older women who have had life experience, so when something does happen, they can say, oh you know, that happened to me, I totally understand and it's sucks or yay, that's great news, I was happy myself when this or that happened to me too.
The immature or arrested development, that I'm on the fence about that comment. Sure, there's both men and women who are older and immature. But I think a guy can be mature and appreciate a carefree 20 something.
But some of those bossy and demanding older women lol. Not all of them though! I know there's sweethearts out there. =)
Oh for god's sake, OP. 40 is not dead. I turn 40 this year, and I joke about getting old, but I'm perfectly happy with it and full of plans for my future. I prefer noncommitted relationships, but if I were looking for a relationship and went on a date with someone like you, let me assure you I'd be fleeing into the hills at the first whiff of your desperation.
Desperation is never attractive and certainly never sexy.
Incidentally, while I as a woman am unlikely to have a kid at my age, my father had me when he was 45. My mother was 16 years younger than him.
If you can't be happy with your life, which seems to have a lot going on, then maybe it's time to see a therapist. Happiness is largely a choice barring severe poverty or mental illness. If you can't find the strength to make that choice, your situation is unlikely to improve.
I have dated older women who have been much more kind and tender in who they are than younger women. This really shines with those who have been on their own and have supported themselves. They have a really down-to-earth quality.
The increased sex drive, I agree. That's definitely true.
The increased empathy from older women who have had life experience, so when something does happen, they can say, oh you know, that happened to me, I totally understand and it's sucks or yay, that's great news, I was happy myself when this or that happened to me too.
The immature or arrested development, that I'm on the fence about that comment. Sure, there's both men and women who are older and immature. But I think a guy can be mature and appreciate a carefree 20 something.
But some of those bossy and demanding older women lol. Not all of them though! I know there's sweethearts out there. =)
The bossy and demanding older women were bossy and demanding younger women. My older best friend is one of them. lol She's been bossy at every age. I've been too sweet for my own good at most ages (except for when I was when pregnant and the year after, but otherwise too sweet). Age is but a number and has nothing to do with being bossy.
you know that older women are way more relaxed? Stuff that drove me nuts 15 years ago will not make me angry nowadays. We are way less drama. We don't cry if we have a bad hair day. We don't freak out if you don't text back within a minute. We are less likely to accuse you of stuff because we can read in between the lines more.
And we appreciate. We have our own income, live, beliefs. We are more likely to be happy about little stuff because we appreciate life more. And our sex peak is UP.
Younger people are carefree which equals to naivity. They will not sympathize with you if you complain about your tax return, or your troubles at work because they don't have that life experience yet. THey most likely haven't had emergencies/accidents/landlord troubles/missed promotions/flooded bathrooms/mortgage/sicknesses/weird neighbors/elderly and sick parents/.........
Don't you wanna have real conversations and not just get "LOLs" as response when you are texting?
If you are extremely immature or have arrested development, it might be better if you date somebody MUCH younger. But if you are in the mental state of a 40 year old, you'll do better with a woman in the age range +/- 5-7 years.
Is life over for happiness at 40? No, that's later on...then it's really over, so hurry up..
I was not interested in 40-year-old men when 20 +. I was always attracted to and naturally met men my own age, maybe a bit younger or a couple of years older. As I grew older and thought to be younger than I was by others, I was still attracting younger men. If an older man appealed to me in ways, I would still consider them, but just didn't seek out that age difference and older men were likely married.
Some men appear too concerned with females being very young...(again, the youthful thing) rather than focusing on compatibility. So if the OP hits 45-50, will he still require a 20-year old? Everyone has their leanings, but I think if someone is so rooted by what they imagine or expect to have in their life instead of allowing something to occur naturally, it doesn't work. It should be that you are drawn to a person based upon an energy, their confidence, a mutuality, instead of focusing upon a specific age. It does not guarantee anything will work out, even if actually meeting the age, looks, background, nature, personality one thinks they want - who will also like you, want a child, etc. Kind of like trying to hit the lottery.
I think the OP might have said the same things in previous posts, as another poster.. this seems familiar.
you know that older women are way more relaxed? Stuff that drove me nuts 15 years ago will not make me angry nowadays. We are way less drama. We don't cry if we have a bad hair day. We don't freak out if you don't text back within a minute. We are less likely to accuse you of stuff because we can read in between the lines more.
And we appreciate. We have our own income, live, beliefs. We are more likely to be happy about little stuff because we appreciate life more. And our sex peak is UP.
Younger people are carefree which equals to naivity. They will not sympathize with you if you complain about your tax return, or your troubles at work because they don't have that life experience yet. THey most likely haven't had emergencies/accidents/landlord troubles/missed promotions/flooded bathrooms/mortgage/sicknesses/weird neighbors/elderly and sick parents/.........
Don't you wanna have real conversations and not just get "LOLs" as response when you are texting?
If you are extremely immature or have arrested development, it might be better if you date somebody MUCH younger. But if you are in the mental state of a 40 year old, you'll do better with a woman in the age range +/- 5-7 years.
Very well said. I turn 42 next week. I am a lot more confident in myself now than I ever was in my 20's. I have a lot more self-esteem, am a lot mentally healthier and recognize where I shine and what my shortcomings are. I was a mess in my 20's. I am at the lowest weight I have seen in about 15 years, and I am now dressing in a way that flatters my figure. I am much more attractive overall (not just physically) than I was 20 years ago.
Sadly, I live in an area where all that is a detriment as I am not some fragile, helpless creature that needs to be taken care of.
Quote:
Originally Posted by In2itive_1
I was not interested in 40-year-old men when 20 +. I was always attracted to and naturally met men my own age, maybe a bit younger or a couple of years older.
In my younger days, I was attracted to older men (it probably should have been a sign that was going to be the case when I had crushes on "Johnny Gage" and "Hawkeye Pierce" when I was 4...). My late hubby was 7.5 years older than me. Now, in my early 40's, I find very few men in this area who are 45+ who aren't old. The older I get, the more youthful I become (typical Capricorn if you believe that sort of thing) and I'm finding younger men (35ish) to be a lot more attractive than those closer to my age.
I am going with my cousin to Cozumel. Plus would women in their 20s be interested after they find out that I am 40? Although I have a rewarding career and all they will say that they can find a guy younger than me in his late 20s or early 30s?
A 40 year old guy who needs a 20 something year old girl for his relationship happiness is going to have some serious issues. Same with the 20 something girl who wants the 40 year old guy.
However, there are a good number of 20 something girls with issues that you may be able to find. As long as you don't expect a real, intimate, long-term relationship it's just a numbers game of working them until you find the ones who fit the bill.
Very well said. I turn 42 next week. I am a lot more confident in myself now than I ever was in my 20's. I have a lot more self-esteem, am a lot mentally healthier and recognize where I shine and what my shortcomings are. I was a mess in my 20's. I am at the lowest weight I have seen in about 15 years, and I am now dressing in a way that flatters my figure. I am much more attractive overall (not just physically) than I was 20 years ago.
Sadly, I live in an area where all that is a detriment as I am not some fragile, helpless creature that needs to be taken care of.
In my younger days, I was attracted to older men (it probably should have been a sign that was going to be the case when I had crushes on "Johnny Gage" and "Hawkeye Pierce" when I was 4...). My late hubby was 7.5 years older than me. Now, in my early 40's, I find very few men in this area who are 45+ who aren't old. The older I get, the more youthful I become (typical Capricorn if you believe that sort of thing) and I'm finding younger men (35ish) to be a lot more attractive than those closer to my age.
I've never been able to go for a guy who was younger. It just doesn't work for me. Most of the guys I've dated in recent years have been 5-12 years older than me. I think it has something to do with the fact that my father is older and I grew up hanging out with old men. I don't want to DATE senior citizens, but guys who are younger than me seem hopelessly young and inexperienced. 6-12 years seems like a sweet spot to me - still potentially vital and attractive, but not, ya know, heading towards OLD yet. LOL.
But yeah, my sex drive tends to outstrip theirs. That's what vibrators are for.
I hope not because I plan to find it in my second half of life.
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). My late hubby was 7.5 years older than me. Now, in my early 40's, I find very few men in this area who are 45+ who aren't old. The older I get, the more youthful I become (typical Capricorn if you believe that sort of thing) and I'm finding younger men (35ish) to be a lot more attractive than those closer to my age.
