Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I hate texting too, but I also hate it when people straight up don't respond to a direct query, even just to say, "Maybe. Let me check," especially given that 90% of people have their phones within arm's reach at all times.
Well and that's why I am confused, because he has been like that from the get go. If we started intensely chatting and it just fell off, then I think it's clear. But it's always been like that from the beginning.
Bingo. A man who is interested in you would make time for you.
I don't doubt that at all. Obviously all we had was a first date. I have a date with someone else next week too, but it would be nice to get a better grasp of where I stand with him. I think that is all it boils down to, just kind of hanging here.
Well and that's why I am confused, because he has been like that from the get go. If we started intensely chatting and it just fell off, then I think it's clear. But it's always been like that from the beginning.
It's always going to be like this with him. So if you kinda don't like it NOW, during the supposedly exciting early stages, you'll HATE it later down the road.
It's always going to be like this with him. So if you kinda don't like it NOW, during the supposedly exciting early stages, you'll HATE it later down the road.
It's not so much that I hate it. I actually can be like that too and when friends or family do it to me, it doesn't bother me. When we had our days of radio silence I actually didn't mind. I definitely took notice, but I wasn't annoyed or mad.
I think my issue right now is that dating in the gay world is so new to me (and exciting), I am basically learning from scratch as I have only dated guys since this past October, so I think I am just trying to understand it a little better. For example as I mentioned in a previous thread, I was shocked at how oversexualized dating gay guys is. It was foreign to me that a guy in the middle of your first date is comfortable enough in grabbing your hand and putting it on his crotch and telling you he wants you in him or another example that before the date happens they tell you they want you to come over their house for some sex after the date. The focus has been sex first, talk later, which I am a guy I know how horny we are, but I would have thought when it comes to dating there would be more decorum, so I have quickly learned that. A lot of gay guys have told me, that's the norm, but it was something that surprised me and I never knew worked that way.
So I think I am just trying to learn, and he has been a departure from the bad behavior I have experienced from others so that's why I have more interest. I think just like my process of coming out, this is a learning process to me on what it's like to date guys. I am still looking at other options and fine with the idea that I might not hear back, I think I am just trying to understand the behavior that's all. I mean the oversexualized behavior with others I have dated, I don't get either, but the thing is I DON'T want to understand it, lol.
I mean, learning is great, but not ALL men are the same, as you know. It sounds like insecurity is driving your discomfort more than anything else right now.
You admit to practicing this particular behavior with your own family and friends, with whom you are apparently comfortable. So why balk when THIS guy does it to YOU?
Because you aren't yet secure in your ... "relationship."
And yes, being bi/gay adds layers upon layers of complications. Good luck.
I mean, learning is great, but not ALL men are the same, as you know. It sounds like insecurity is driving your discomfort more than anything else right now.
You admit to practicing this particular behavior with your own family and friends, with whom you are apparently comfortable. So why balk when THIS guy does it to YOU?
Because you aren't yet secure in your ... "relationship."
And yes, being bi/gay adds layers upon layers of complications. Good luck.
No you are completely right and I know that. I already know how most women think of me or moreso I know how to gauge them, since I dated them for 15+ years.
When it comes to men I am still uncertain. Yes, I get hit on by men all the time, but it's more for sex. So when it comes to the emotional part, like dating, I am completely clueless and not sure what I am doing right, or wrong, if guys feel comfortable with me being closeted, etc. I think as I go through this process I will learn more and more about myself. I am actually not an insecure person at all but when it comes to dating guys, I am comfortable in saying there is a lot I have to learn and I am still trying to get comfortable in that. A ton of work is needed in that department as it's only been three months since I started dating men.
I am actually not an insecure person at all but when it comes to dating guys, I am comfortable in saying there is a lot I have to learn and I am still trying to get comfortable in that. A ton of work is needed in that department as it's only been three months since I started dating men.
You don't have to be insecure about yourself to be unsure about your situation.
You don't really know him and will have to suffer through some discomfort like this while you get to know him.
You don't have to be insecure about yourself to be unsure about your situation.
You don't really know him and will have to suffer through some discomfort like this while you get to know him.
Yeah you are right. I'll shoot him a text tomorrow later in the day. If he agrees to meeting up again go from there or if I don't hear back just take it as a sign and move on!
Yeah you are right. I'll shoot him a text tomorrow later in the day. If he agrees to meeting up again go from there or if I don't hear back just take it as a sign and move on!
There's "busy" and there's "rude." I hope he's just busy, but you decide where the line is for you.
I was shocked at how oversexualized dating gay guys is… A lot of gay guys have told me, that's the norm, but it was something that surprised me and I never knew worked that way.
So I think I am just trying to learn, and he has been a departure from the bad behavior I have experienced from others so that's why I have more interest.
He may not be a departure from the norm. You may have conveyed the "oversexualized gay guys" thing to him in a text. That's why he's not returning your texts as quickly as he would if he knew you were down for random sex.
You should be familiar with this type of behavior; men do this to women who don't put out on first dates. He put you on the back burner. His long delays in responding to your texts should give you a better grasp of where you stand with him. Move on.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
