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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
How is her preference not okay to you, yet you reject women who don't fit your physical criteria of tall and curvy?
You are putting words in my mouth. I didn't say I'd reject anyone who isn't tall and curvy. I only said that is what I'm attracted to.
My response to BF's statement is just a show of frustration because as someone who is being shut out of both a new job and a new girlfriend because of the same reason, lack of experience. How the hell am I supposed to get "experience" if no one gives me a chance? Surely you can understand frustration in that sense if you have the slightest bit of empathy.
You are putting words in my mouth. I didn't say I'd reject anyone who isn't tall and curvy. I only said that is what I'm attracted to.
My response to BF's statement is just a show of frustration because as someone who is being shut out of both a new job and a new girlfriend because of the same reason, lack of experience. How the hell am I supposed to get "experience" if no one gives me a chance? Surely you can understand frustration in that sense if you have the slightest bit of empathy.
Sorry to hear about the job. There is a lot of competition out there and sometimes the lack of experience is because you don't have a lot of years behind you yet. It takes time to get where you want to be, and that often doesn't happen in your 20s.
But that's a separate issue from dating. You're not being prevented from having a GF because of inexperience, your choices and lack of approaching, and not taking a chance with someone who approaches you are what's holding you back. You can't get experience in dating if you don't go on dates. A date isn't a lifetime investment, and the more dates you go on, the more you learn and also get to know about yourself, which can only help you in the future.
Maybe the person wasn't lucky enough to find someone to want to be with him/her. If you do, why should it matter?
Also, what if the woman who ended up wanting to be with you turned out to be crazy/insane? Then what? So much good it did for her to pick you...lol
It seems to me that people who have never struggled with dating have different standards than from those who do. I'm accepting of someone never really having much or any relationship history at any age cause I know how hard dating has been for me in my life.
Pretty much everyone has struggled with dating at sometime in their lives.
I'm a 24 year old guy and relationships never appealed to me. I was always very focused on my personal achievements, I wasn't the popular guy in high school, my looks are average, my parents aren't rich and I never had lots of success in sports.
I have nothing against people who are in relationships, everyone knows what's best for them but to me the perfect life would be having a house of my own, full of books and a couple of German shepherds.
I go out for drinks and dinners with friends but nothing makes me stray from my personal goals. I have no baggage, no ex-girlfriend drama or traumas from toxic relationships. It's just me and myself.
I obviously never had sex or been kissed. Even though I'm curious about that, I don't like the endless troubles that might come with that.
I don't think there's anything at all wrong with that. If you are really happy, then enjoy your life.
It's like you have to have been vetted by at least one other person in order for anyone else to consider you a legit and viable dating candidate. Seems like some people might lose out potentially on the love of their life or on a great experience, at least, by having that requirement. But I suppose people have their reasons.
All other things being equal, most people would be fine being with someone with no relationship experience. However, having no relationship experience will likely make those other things unequal.
Most people start to learn about relationships in their teens. By the time they are in their 30's, most people have significant experience in the realm of navigating the ins and outs of relationships. Dealing with someone with no experience is going to be like dating someone in high school. It will be very frustrating trying to deal with someone who is just learning how to be in a relationship.
The question I'd have is how would you go about finding that out? Plenty of people (both males or females) lie about their relationship history, or at least exaggerate a little bit.
You will find that out as you interact with them. They will never have to tell you. Their thoughts and behaviors will show it.
So just like on the job market, I'd get ed over because I don't have the right experience. Ugh.
Sort of but, just like in the job market, where the employer would get ed by hiring an inexperienced person in a position that requires experience, the experienced partner would get ed over by trying to have a relationship with an inexperienced person.
You are putting words in my mouth. I didn't say I'd reject anyone who isn't tall and curvy. I only said that is what I'm attracted to.
My response to BF's statement is just a show of frustration because as someone who is being shut out of both a new job and a new girlfriend because of the same reason, lack of experience. How the hell am I supposed to get "experience" if no one gives me a chance? Surely you can understand frustration in that sense if you have the slightest bit of empathy.
In the workforce, you get experience by starting out in positions that don't require experience. In relationships, you get experience by having relationships with others with similar levels of experience.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
Sorry to hear about the job. There is a lot of competition out there and sometimes the lack of experience is because you don't have a lot of years behind you yet. It takes time to get where you want to be, and that often doesn't happen in your 20s.
But that's a separate issue from dating. You're not being prevented from having a GF because of inexperience, your choices and lack of approaching, and not taking a chance with someone who approaches you are what's holding you back. You can't get experience in dating if you don't go on dates. A date isn't a lifetime investment, and the more dates you go on, the more you learn and also get to know about yourself, which can only help you in the future.
Don't you think it would be emotionally cruel and selfish to go on a date with someone you know damn well you have no romantic interest in just so you can get experience? Just seems like a waste to their time and mine too, especially since I'm expected as a guy to pay.
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ed over because I don't have the right experience. Ugh. 
