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I agree about the exes living together, but I do believe those folks should slow their roll and refrain from dating until they get their living situation straightened out.
As for the gun thing: I think it's a bit paranoid to assume that just because someone owns a gun, they might kill you.
I agree with you. But the original poster has known this woman for ONE WEEK. I mean, jeez, I don't even know if they have met in person. So the fact that he has built up all this drama in his mind at this early juncture tells me that it's 99% on him. We're talking serious, serious snakes in the head.
Let me put it to you this way. If someone you've met online a week ago was calling and texting repeatedly over the course of a night and then demanding explanations on why you haven't called him back, wouldn't you be tempted to get a restraining order? I mean, if I were her and this guy was so obsessive after a handful of days, I'd really think that gun ownership was a pretty good idea.
I met a woman online this week and now I'm torn on whether to cut ties or try to make something happen here. We've only been talking a week, but she hit every single one of my attraction points and was very interested in me as well. The chemistry was outstanding talking on the phone and she lives nearby.
But as my usual experience with online, there's always something beneath the surface that isn't good and she told me a few things that set up flags for me. First, she has a living arrangement with her ex. They live in the same house, but rarely see each other according to her. I certainly don't mind dating divorce women, but I like the ex to be out of the picture. Also, she revealed that her divorce was only final a few weeks ago. She had been separated for a long period of time. So she's officially divorced, but the fact that the ink is barely dry on the papers makes me uneasy. Worst case scenrio, I wouldn't want an ex to get jealous and come after me or make trouble.
Then another flag. She made mentioned that she has a gun. I've never dated a woman who owned a gun and liked to shoot. Probably no big deal, but it would make me think twice about ever getting on her bad side. The final flag occured today that is close to being a deal breaker for me. I tried to call her last nite and no answer. I sent her a text later asking if she was there. Still no response. She finally responded the next day telling me she had to go visit her daughter that night. Ok no problem. However, today, she got pretty huffy when I didn't reply back to her text messages in a timely manner. In fact, she said I must be losing interest and she wouldn't bother me again.
Ok, first that comes off hypocritical that it's ok to leave me in the dark text message wise, but if I don't respond right away, that's a bad thing for her? Second, it shows that she is someone willing call it quits in the towel the moment a guy doesn't do everything the way she wants.
Am I reading too much into this, or would these be big red flags for you? The balls in my court. I could simply call her and explain to her that I was really busy today or just let it go.
black bolded is red flag if I were you.
By the way, having a gun is a red flag? My fiance has many, I have several. We are both responsible gun owners, I need some practice, my fiance is a sharp shooter. We are not crazy.
I agree with you. But the original poster has known this woman for ONE WEEK. I mean, jeez, I don't even know if they have met in person. So the fact that he has built up all this drama in his mind at this early juncture tells me that it's 99% on him. We're talking serious, serious snakes in the head.
Let me put it to you this way. If someone you've met online a week ago was calling and texting repeatedly over the course of a night and then demanding explanations on why you haven't called him back, wouldn't you be tempted to get a restraining order? I mean, if I were her and this guy was so obsessive after a handful of days, I'd really think that gun ownership was a pretty good idea.
Well yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's why I said he's paranoid
I don't know...personally I wouldn't have been panicking or anything, but no, I wouldn't go out with anyone who wasn't 100% divorced and the "she's losing interest" thing? Well...I would just move on. Plenty of girls out there, Jeff! You will find a great one.
Well yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's why I said he's paranoid
Yes, I do think there's probably a bit of overreaction here but OTOH there are other factors that are already saying she isn't going to be an easy nut to crack (including the "losing interest" comment, as I stated above) so...personally I'd be moving on.
But no, although I've never owned a gun and wouldn't consider owning one, I wouldn't think someone was going to shoot me, LOL!
I'd probably have given this a bit more time and seen where things went but that non-interest thing would have me out the door (politely) because well...after only one week...why would I be fighting to maintain someone's interest? That would be silly. This is only my opinion, obviously.
You've known her all of a week. I'm not sure what kind of lazy stereotypes you adhere to, but lots of sane women have guns. She's not going to blow you away because you didn't unload the dishwasher or were ten minutes late getting home.
First, i've actually known couples that have split, but still live in the same house. Why? Because they have to sell the thing first before they can get their own places. Not terribly uncommon if the economy sucks in your part of the world.
Second, the whole calling and texting incident is more a red flag about you, not her. She is not a dog. She is not in a committed relationship with you. She has other things going on in her life. For all you know, she forgot to recharge her mobile phone. So you come off as the suffocating needy boyfriend-to-be, which should give any sane, self-respecting woman pause.
Do yourself a gigantic favor, step back, and allow things to just happen. A big part of the problem here is that you're already looking for reasons to terminate the relationship rather than looking for reasons to continue it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by missclutterbuck
i agree about the exes living together, but i do believe those folks should slow their roll and refrain from dating until they get their living situation straightened out.
As for the gun thing: I think it's a bit paranoid to assume that just because someone owns a gun, they might kill you.
I don't know...personally I wouldn't have been panicking or anything, but no, I wouldn't go out with anyone who wasn't 100% divorced and the "she's losing interest" thing? Well...I would just move on. Plenty of girls out there, Jeff! You will find a great one.
Thanks Jerz Yeah I'm trusting my gut on this one and moving on. I decided not to call her last night and got this text today "well I can take a hint, goodbye!" You know, maybe my phone died or a dozen other reasons why I didn't reply back to her texts yesterday but she went right to this conclusion and giving up that easily.
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My fiance has many, I have several. We are both responsible gun owners, I need some practice, my fiance is a sharp shooter. We are not crazy. 
and the "she's losing interest" thing? Well...I would just move on. 
Plenty of girls out there, Jeff! You will find a great one.
