Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Instead of spending your therapy sessions discussing your therapist's personal life, maybe you should discuss whether it's a good idea for you to go into the field of social work. Do you really feel like you are mentally and emotionally mature enough to be making judgements about other people's situations and giving other people guidance when you are in such a bad place yourself emotionally?
IMO you aren't who you claim to be. For someone who is supposedly almost done with a Masters degree in social work from a well ranked university, you seem to be surprisingly clueless about the signs, symptoms, and treatments of mental illnesses such as PTSD, you seem to have the mental and emotional maturity of a young teenager, and you seem to have the grammar, vocabulary, and writing level of a grade school kid.
For anyone who wants to see the hundreds of other posts about the same issues that are all giving her all the same advice since the OP joined CD on 12/25/15, here they are:
To sum up if we are to believe the OP is for real: OP dated a still married but separated guy who broke up with her in December after three months. That was the longest relationship she's ever had and she was convinced he was the perfect future husband and father of her children. Then she met for the first and only time in person the military guy she's been chatting with online off and on for a year and she decided he was the perfect future husband and father of her children after meeting him once. Keep in mind he was tipsy the entire time, acted like a jerk and he ended the evening by doing a little intoxicated driving. She has had therapy in the past and is currently back in therapy, but doesn't follow the advice her therapist gives her, which is basically the same advice she's received hundreds of times on CD in the last month.
OP, this is your 5th thread on the same subject in a month. If you are for real, why do you keep posting about the same thing, repeatedly making the exact same comments and ignoring all the advice people are giving you? What are you trying to accomplish by continuing to post new threads about the same subject and then making comments that seem to serve no purpose other than to provoke posters into repeating the same advice over and over again?
If you are for real, here's my advice. Step 1. Quit dating and talking to men online. Step 2. Get new therapist who is older, more mature than your current one and isn't pregnant. Maybe a male therapist would be better for you since you currently don't seem to understand men at all. Step 3. Finish your degree. Step 4. Find a job that uses your degree. Step 5. Move to where ever that job is. Step 6. Spend at least 1 more year focusing on your career and your therapy while not dating.
this is great. I think I can do that. It gives me a hopeful timeline which I like even though I know you don't know my life and can't promise anything but maybe in a year I'll be more ready or a year and a half?
Ok so that is interesting to me because I have been like this since I was 18 and I know a lot of people would say "oh you're only 18, 19, 20 etc...." I'm 25 now. I know that the average marriage age is 27 so I still have 2 years to work on it but I know you are saying that to make me feel good and maybe worry less and I appreciate it. What point though do you say "hey you're old, you need to worry about this"? I know I am not really that young. I am 25, that is old enough to be married and have at least 1-2 kids and be stable. I know I am not the oldest person ever either but I am definitely at an age where this should be a concern.
I am from a small city, but I went to college in a rural area and this isn't even true for those people! Most people I know that "got married young" got married at 24/25. I know a girl who got married at 22 and she didn't even have a baby until 26. The only girls I know who had babies before 26 had them by accident in high school.
FWIW I moved to the big city and met lots of guys! And 7 years later I met my boyfriend, about a month before my 29th birthday. The timing couldn't have been better. I felt like I was really ready to get ot know someone. Not have a relationship, just get to know him. And here we are about 9 months later talking about moving in together, however we both think it's a little soon, so maybe next year when we are *gasp* 30 years old!
Some posters will literally post the same things over and over again because they sort of get off on the attention they receive when they post their crazy ideas. They also need people that are willing to talk about all of the crazy ideas they have in their heads--over and over again--so when others respond and participate in such threads it only feeds these ideas and allows them to keep entertaining the possibilities.
Simply put the OP likes talking about this because it makes it feel more real and more possible than her current situation which is single, without a relationship or a prospect for a relationship, and therefore not any closer to getting married or having babies. The more we entertain her threads which largely talk about the same idea the more she'll keep creating thread after thread that entertains these ideas with different titles to keep the conversation going.
Another poster here does the same thing and people have had it up to here with it. Once it gets to the point where a poster is posting the exact SAME idea in many different threads and clearly have not taken the advice it becomes clear that they aren't looking for advice anymore, just people willing to talk with them about their ideas.
This thread is proof. The OP needs therapy of some sort--we all know that, she even knows it on some level. But until she gets it, expect that she'll continue to entertain these thoughts, create these threads, and make little sense to those of us sane and grow enough to know better. So at this point all I've got for her is: seek therapy and stop using forums to entertain your fantasies.
It doesn't make it more or less real. I mean I could contact any guy from tinder or pof and get a baby put in me pretty quickly. I feel like I could even maybe get a relationship I'm not sure I mean it's been difficult so far but if I really wanted to make it real I feel like I could
It doesn't make it more or less real. I mean I could contact any guy from tinder or pof and get a baby put in me pretty quickly. I feel like I could even maybe get a relationship I'm not sure I mean it's been difficult so far but if I really wanted to make it real I feel like I could
Then do it.
I mean it's easy to find a military man, quickly get married, have a quality marriage and have babies and all as soon as you move.
Anyway, like I've mentioned above, you aren't looking for advice anymore. This issue of yours has been thoroughly explored by a lot of us, in the different threads you've made about this topic and we keep giving you advice and yet you keep wanting to talk about it. It's clear that what you need is much deeper than what we can give you.
If you want to move out of state when you graduate and get what you want then go for it. I mean that's on you sweetie. It's not my life you will impact by such a kid like thought pattern it is your life and the child and by extension whatever man gets roped in that you will impact and I feel bad for them. I really do... But hey it's clear that your mind is set.
Do you not have friends that are willing to talk you through your baby fever?
I really think that you should go see a counselor every week so that you can obsessively talk about this and get the advice you need from a licensed professional that is equipped and used to dealing with people that harbor silly thought processes. I'm not one of them so this is where i hop off and let everyone else continue on.
I am from a small city, but I went to college in a rural area and this isn't even true for those people! Most people I know that "got married young" got married at 24/25. I know a girl who got married at 22 and she didn't even have a baby until 26. The only girls I know who had babies before 26 had them by accident in high school.
FWIW I moved to the big city and met lots of guys! And 7 years later I met my boyfriend, about a month before my 29th birthday. The timing couldn't have been better. I felt like I was really ready to get ot know someone. Not have a relationship, just get to know him. And here we are about 9 months later talking about moving in together, however we both think it's a little soon, so maybe next year when we are *gasp* 30 years old!
I always wonder about how people can be just interested in getting to know someone? I'm not asking in a judgy way just wondering how is that? Like you met him and didn't think about dating? I don't know that I've ever felt like that. I feel like I don't care about people (guys) unless they want to date. I have one guy friend that I made recently and I don't want to date him at all but Idk or friendship is weird because I never intended to be his friend he just started talking to me and wouldn't stop and now I've opened up to him a lot about personal stuff but I feel angry with him because he has a gf whose pregnant which is not rational because I don't like him like that. If a guy offers friendship to me I get so pissed like uncontrollably mad because that's not what I want. I have enough friends. Point being I guess I just don't see how I can ever just be into a guy and not planning out a wedding and babies immediately. I want to not because that's crazy behavior I guess but it's so hard I want it so much. At 29 weren't you worried?
I mean realistically yes. Get pregnant... whatever same thing. The point is that if I wanted a crazy unstable life I could do it. Some thing has kept me from doing it and that's good.
I always wonder about how people can be just interested in getting to know someone? I'm not asking in a judgy way just wondering how is that? Like you met him and didn't think about dating? I don't know that I've ever felt like that. I feel like I don't care about people (guys) unless they want to date. I have one guy friend that I made recently and I don't want to date him at all but Idk or friendship is weird because I never intended to be his friend he just started talking to me and wouldn't stop and now I've opened up to him a lot about personal stuff but I feel angry with him because he has a gf whose pregnant which is not rational because I don't like him like that. If a guy offers friendship to me I get so pissed like uncontrollably mad because that's not what I want. I have enough friends. Point being I guess I just don't see how I can ever just be into a guy and not planning out a wedding and babies immediately. I want to not because that's crazy behavior I guess but it's so hard I want it so much. At 29 weren't you worried?
Worried about what???
I felt bad for you but the fact that you are continuing this is exasperating.
Women do not have an expiration date, and when women like you act like this, you allow the guys on this board who are losers and think women should just give up their lives when they reach a certain age to get away with that stuff.
I mean realistically yes. Get pregnant... whatever same thing. The point is that if I wanted a crazy unstable life I could do it. Some thing has kept me from doing it and that's good.
Yes, that is good. Very good.
However, this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12
If a guy offers friendship to me I get so pissed like uncontrollably mad because that's not what I want. I have enough friends.
... is really, really worrisome. It's not good, something you need to describe to your therapist ASAP.
Your NEW therapist, that is.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
