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General question, if you are looking for a relationship, would dating a man who has never been in a relationship unnerve you?
I am 26, dating a man who is also 26. We've been dating for a little more than 2 weeks, been on 4 or 5 dates. We have had sex. I am taking my time to get to know him, but sexual compatibility is important to me. I'm certainly not trying to rush things, however I am looking for something that could develop into a relationship.
Having said this, he is 26, and has not been in a serious relationship since high school. He has basically no relationship experience.
He says he's not sure what he's looking for, but seems open to seeing where things go. He generally sets up the dates.
I'm a little unsure about his lack of dating experience. I'm also unsure of the progression of things. We generally talk almost every day, but not all day. We will go a day or so every now and then without talking.
Hate to burst your bubble but people who generally go into dating claiming they "don't know what they're looking for" usually aren't looking for a relationship or at least has some reservations about it, especially from someone with not a lot of relationships. I'm just saying that from experience hearing that from guys and feeling that way myself.
But there's no way to know until some time has passed. It could be different for him and you could change his uncertainty.
General question, if you are looking for a relationship, would dating a man who has never been in a relationship unnerve you?
I am 26, dating a man who is also 26. We've been dating for a little more than 2 weeks, been on 4 or 5 dates. We have had sex. I am taking my time to get to know him, but sexual compatibility is important to me. I'm certainly not trying to rush things, however I am looking for something that could develop into a relationship.
Having said this, he is 26, and has not been in a serious relationship since high school. He has basically no relationship experience.
He says he's not sure what he's looking for, but seems open to seeing where things go. He generally sets up the dates.
I'm a little unsure about his lack of dating experience. I'm also unsure of the progression of things. We generally talk almost every day, but not all day. We will go a day or so every now and then without talking.
Ok, to recap:
You think you're dating, but you've only been on "4 or 5" dates.
You've had sex, but you aren't trying to rush things and are "taking your time" to get to know him.
He's "open to seeing where things go," which in my experience is code word for "as long as she keeps having sex with me, I'll be available."
You apparently expect grown people to text each other all day long.
These ^^^ are the things that would concern me.
Also, yes, his lack of relationship experience COULD be a concern, but you really should get to know him better before you judge.
Shouldn't 'getting to know him/trying not to rush' come before having sex?
Anywho, I agree, only time will tell.
Yeah, this. But she also said that sexual compatibility is important to her, so I guess she was just trying to see if there was any point in continuing to date him, by seeing if they were sexually compatible first?
He's only 26, OP. It's not like he's 40 with no relationship experience. Going by the title of your thread, I thought you were going to be talking about someone who was close to, or in, middle age, who had only had unstable (i.e. drama-filled) relationships.
I think if you have reservations about him, his lack of relationship history should be the least of your concerns.
Yeah, this. But she also said that sexual compatibility is important to her, so I guess she was just trying to see if there was any point in continuing to date him, by seeing if they were sexually compatible first?
He's only 26, OP. It's not like he's 40 with no relationship experience. Going by the title of your thread, I thought you were going to be talking about someone who was close to, or in, middle age, who had only had unstable (i.e. drama-filled) relationships.
I think if you have reservations about him, his lack of relationship history should be the least of your concerns.
I get what you're saying. I didnt know how to interpret his statement that he wasn't sure what he wanted but was open to seeing where things go, if it was more related to his lack of relationship experience or if it was a way to blow smoke in my face.
I can be naive, and I have been in several long relationships. I'm not keen on the real dating experience, and how things generally progress. My idea of it, from speaking with friends, is that people generally see each other casually for weeks to months before making anything official. I just wasn't sure what I should or should not expect from this guy at this point. I wasn't sure if his stance was a way to keep things casual and see how it progresses, or if it was a way to get what he wanted without giving anything.
I get what you're saying. I didnt know how to interpret his statement that he wasn't sure what he wanted but was open to seeing where things go, if it was more related to his lack of relationship experience or if it was a way to blow smoke in my face.
I can be naive, and I have been in several long relationships. I'm not keen on the real dating experience, and how things generally progress. My idea of it, from speaking with friends, is that people generally see each other casually for weeks to months before making anything official. I just wasn't sure what I should or should not expect from this guy at this point. I wasn't sure if his stance was a way to keep things casual and see how it progresses, or if it was a way to get what he wanted without giving anything.
Good chances, its a ruse. I'm sure your gut feeling is sensing that as well.
Good chances, its a ruse. I'm sure your gut feeling is sensing that as well.
Thanks for clarifying. How would you proceed at this point? Should I just stop replying to contact? Tell him I don't think we're on the same page? I certaintly do not want to be dramatic, and want to keep it as simple as possible.
Shouldn't 'getting to know him/trying not to rush' come before having sex?
Anywho, I agree, only time will tell.
No. Protocol is to have sex then properly court the girl. Sex first, holding hands second. Some Amish even have "courting buggiest" but a girl only sees that AFTER she puts out. How it's always been done around here.
So yeah, this scenario isn't unusual.
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