Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But what if it did? Suppose you met someone who was witty, caring and attractive.You had an instant connection with them but then you found out he or she worked at Home Depot barely making $10 an hour. Would that make them less desirable and if so how does that not make a person shallow?
You can call it shallow if you want, but the fact is that very few people will sign on to a future that pretty much guarantees financial instability and having to work twice as hard in order to pick up the other person's slack (assuming the relationship progresses into something serious).
But what if it did? Suppose you met someone who was witty, caring and attractive.You had an instant connection with them but then you found out he or she worked at Home Depot barely making $10 an hour. Would that make them less desirable and if so how does that not make a person shallow?
Not necessarily. There was a cute guy in plumbing flirting with me one day. That was nice. A lot would depend on why he worked there, for how long, and what his goals in life were. I made $10 an hour under the table as a tutor in college 20 years ago. My boyfriend made roughly that too. We eventually broke up, but it wasn't about money. I was in school full time, while he kept dropping out because he didn't know what he wanted in life. He hated his job but didn't know what else to do. We were just on different paths in life.
The reason behind a 40-year-old working at Home Depot is important. (The cute guy was not 40, by the way.) How does he support himself? Does he have a plan for retirement? I can understand loving your dream job, but more than likely a minimum-wage gig is a short-term stint or a soul-crushing dead end. Why does he work at Home Depot? The economy is rough and jobs are hard to come by, I know. So what did he do before Home Depot? What's next? These are things I would consider when getting to know a person. However, I wouldn't automatically turn down a request for a date, nor would I approach it like an interview.
Women don't date someone that makes minimum because they are gold diggers, men do date minimum wage women because they are not money lovers like women are!
Women don't date someone that makes minimum because they are gold diggers, men do date minimum wage women because they are not money lovers like women are!
Women don't date someone that makes minimum because they are gold diggers, men do date minimum wage women because they are not money lovers like women are!
Yup and the men who refer to women as gold diggers rarely have gold to dig smh.
I don't f*** with broke men, and a man that makes 10 dollars an hour as a career is broke, and I can be broke by myself if I want to be. If I have a partner I want him to be coming from the same place as me. So... Call me a gold digger for being honest but it is what it is. No shame here lol!
Yup and the men who refer to women as gold diggers rarely have gold to dig smh.
I don't f*** with broke men, and a man that makes 10 dollars an hour as a career is broke, and I can be broke by myself if I want to be. If I have a partner I want him to be coming from the same place as me. So... Call me a gold digger for being honest but it is what it is. No shame here lol!
I'm a man and I've got no problems with a woman not wanting a dude that makes 10 bucks an hour, especially in an expensive metro area. I wouldn't call that gold digging, I think gold digging is different than expecting a person to make a similar salary range. I think truth be told, this trait in all honestly is probably a little more important to women than men.
I don't think I've heard a guy when talking about women, mentioning how much money she made as long as she was able to handle her business and wasn't irresponsible, what ever figure that is, most likely more than 10 buck an hour, but again, men would probably rank a woman's income and job further down the list of things he wants in a woman, again, just basically her handling her biz ok.
I've always made pretty good money and always better than the women I was with. If I were to be single and met a woman that did better than me, I'd be curious how I'd handle, I'd like to think I'd be ok with it, on the plus side our combined would probably kick us up in the next tax bracket.... LOL j/k.
I'm a man and I've got no problems with a woman not wanting a dude that makes 10 bucks an hour, especially in an expensive metro area. I wouldn't call that gold digging, I think gold digging is different than expecting a person to make a similar salary range. I think truth be told, this trait in all honestly is probably a little more important to women than men.
I don't think I've heard a guy when talking about women, mentioning how much money she made as long as she was able to handle her business and wasn't irresponsible, what ever figure that is, most likely more than 10 buck an hour, but again, men would probably rank a woman's income and job further down the list of things he wants in a woman, again, just basically her handling her biz ok.
On the flip side, you hear a lot less about women needing men to be "hot". That is the primary reason for a lot of guys willing to take a lot of other unattractive qualities. No harm in that.
On the flip side, you hear a lot less about women needing men to be "hot". That is the primary reason for a lot of guys willing to take a lot of other unattractive qualities. No harm in that.
I agree, you don't hear "he needs to be hot" talk from women nearly as much as men say it, basically each side has their cross to bear, it's been that way forever, it's gonna take a bit longer for things to change more. The bottom line is is that women in todays day and age are a bit more in the drivers seat dating wise and I don't care, I'm not mad about it, I just accept it. Women are making more strides in the workforce are doing better and will get to be on par with men in terms of salary, it's getting closer now, but there's still a bit of a discrepancy but it's getting more and more narrow these days.
Women are more in the drivers seat in the sense that they don't "need" men like they did decades ago, they have money and more power now through positions of authority but at the end of the day the men have to do more of the pursuing just because women don't have to. That is the crux of why all these younger guys are pissed off, they've been beaten to death with girl power stuff the last 20 plus yr and women make good money too, so why do they have to pursue pay for dates etc etc, I get it to a degree, I'm an mid 40's guy and I just accept that men still have to do certain things more than women. It's just the way biology built us.
I could get crude and break it down more crassly but I think people get what I'm saying, pg13 rules and all
I get the women's side too, they've been oppressed forever, couldn't vote, couldn't drive, couldn't own property, etc etc.
The pendulum is apparently swing the other way, or at least hints of it doing so.
I am not sure how that is shallow. I am currently employed at a level where I can afford to send my kids to a handful of decent activities that they are interested in.
The best activities are free.The most important activities which produce the most productive effects are health related-cycling, swimming, hiking and such.
Quote:
I think that is good for them.
Good for them to experience activities that cost money versusthose that do not? Why? this makes no sense. Our son was raised to exercise so guess what? he had not much time for other things. Sure he experienced them but when we splurged, it was appreciated. He now has a degree in exercise science. Trust me, if you put health first, you'll $ave money and likely produce a healthier child.
Quote:
I have a house and all it's responsibility.
That is your choice to have this responsibility. Maybe there is a way you can do something different if this is too much of a burden, not saying it is but for my own experience, this rings true. Very much so but I won't get into why and change the subject completely. Part of it is... owning a house is not the investment it once was anyhow so either one is fine. Well at least here in California. We sold ours and plan on living on land, building an unpermited home to live in so that will save money. I understand that most people want to own a home and it may make financial sense to do so. And that's fine too.
Quote:
I live in a middle class, rural neighborhood. I am hardy wealthy. And don't need someone else' money to support myself.
Ditto
Quote:
And leech? What a nasty assumption.
You stated you wouldn't like a poor guy. That is nasty in itself. Try wanting someone for their character instead of your standard of their pocketbook.
Quote:
But let's see, While I am thinking about my kids' college fund, he is thinking about how to keep the heat on.
Kids do not need College funds. There is proof College isn't all it's cracked up to be anyhow. BUT nothing wrong with it either... except honestly, if you are middle class, College may break you. You may want to go poor for a while since often College will make you even poorer. If you consider paying the full bill, jmho.
Quote:
What are we going to talk about? Were do we go on dates?
You're not a teenager anymore. Go to coffee. Go on a hike (you need your daily exercise anyhow) cook healthy meals at each others homes. Go join a cycling club. Join a chess club. Go to a free event in your community. Visit the library. Watch tv at home. Volunteer to walk dogs. Go camping (if you know them very very well). I could go on and on.
Quote:
Does he feel great if I am paying for all of them?
There is no reason EITHER of you should be wasting money like that. Ok once in a while, sure. Splurge.
Quote:
I sincerely doubt it, unless he is a gold digger himself. Am I going to let his kids go to school in substandard boots and coats?
What in the world is a substandard boot or coat? or better yet, what in the world is the standard for boots and coats and who chooses that standard? is it you or someone else? This is makes no sense
Quote:
Of course not. Is he going to love that? I sincerely doubt that. How is it going to be for me to be funneling the money that could be going towards my kids, my first priority, are going instead to his subsistence?
You're not. Nor is he going to be "funneling money" <--interesting use of verbs.... towards you. None of you are more important than the other one. Make it equal
Quote:
It remains a fact that one of the biggest relationship killers is financial differences.
I suppose if they have funny ideas such as substandard boots and shoes ...there could be issues. Let the materialism go.
Quote:
There is a world apart between minimum wage and wealth.
No...it depends upon whether you live in a high cola area versus your minimum wage. Wealth makes no difference. When we were poor, we had very wealthy friends (still do) but neither of us lived any differently. They had an excellent nest egg at the time, we did not.
Quote:
Do I feel guilty that my parents were able to offer me a college education? (By non-standard creative means, I will have you. I am one generation away from serious poverty myself.
MY parents had plenty of money and spent it like mad, but per money, it was never enough. So I felt guilty using their money and never did.
Quote:
Yay, GI bill!) I feel very privileged. I have worked hard. But no harder than any person laboring at the low end of the wage pool.
Good point.
Quote:
There is no moral or character implication to be a low wage earner. But the lifestyle differences are vast enough that it would simply not make sense.
Again, when we were very poor our friends were very wealthy. Our lifestyles were no different, still arent. Except we are no longer very poor and they are still very wealthy. Wealthier, actually.
Quote:
We can solve the problem by voting Bernie in 2016.
Now this makes some of the other part of the post null. Good on you!! Bernie for 2016!!
Last edited by OutdoorsyGal; 01-27-2016 at 01:09 PM..
I could get crude and break it down more crassly but I think people get what I'm saying, pg13 rules and all
Your point is more spot on than you think. There is no rule book for if I want to get laid I need to do x, y,z. I catch myself a bad girl, so much the better. I make a decent living, I catch myself a wife, I have sex for life. Good on me. THAT is what women don't have to deal with anymore. We don't have to trade sex for income. AND we can enjoy our sexuality with like-minded men who see us as people, not holes to drive in.
Quote:
I get the women's side too, they've been oppressed forever, couldn't vote, couldn't drive, couldn't own property, etc etc.
That has exactly nothing to do with it. By the efforts of wonderful people before me, men and women, I CAN vote, drive, own, earn. Now I can love as ME, unencumbered by the need to use my sex to support myself and my kids. That is the best freedom of all. And if that means some neanderthal does not get laid, tough ****. He can get on board. Or he will be forced out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
