Would you date someone that makes Minimum Wage? (long-term, marry, older)

[Chowhound]

Originally Posted by somebodynew

Your point is more spot on than you think. There is no rule book for if I want to get laid I need to do x, y,z. I catch myself a bad girl, so much the better. I make a decent living, I catch myself a wife, I have sex for life. Good on me. THAT is what women don't have to deal with anymore. We don't have to trade sex for income. AND we can enjoy our sexuality with like-minded men who see us as people, not holes to drive in.


That has exactly nothing to do with it. By the efforts of wonderful people before me, men and women, I CAN vote, drive, own, earn. Now I can love as ME, unencumbered by the need to use my sex to support myself and my kids. That is the best freedom of all. And if that means some neanderthal does not get laid, tough ****. He can get on board. Or he will be forced out.

I put that part in for a frame of reference of todays women versus our grandparent, no, it doesn't have anything to do with dating per se, but again, a point of reference to explain the pendulum comment.

[somebodynew]

Originally Posted by OutdoorsyGal

The best activities are free.

I am not sure you are qualified to tell me what *I* think the best activities are and how much they cost, thank you very much.

The most important activities which produce the most productive effects are health related-cycling, swimming, hiking and such.

I don't disagree that these are good activities. I don't classify them as the most important, at least not exclusively. The benefits that my children have reaped from martial arts in terms of confidence, fitness and self defense is amazing. The benefits from the music lessons no less so.

Good for them to experience activities that cost money versusthose that do not?

They have chosen activities that are good for them based on what they have been able to learn and achieve, as I mention above.

Why? this makes no sense. Our son was raised to exercise so guess what? he had not much time for other things. Sure he experienced them but when we splurged, it was appreciated. He now has a degree in exercise science. Trust me, if you put health first, you'll $ave money and likely produce a healthier child.

I am not sure what you are suggesting? NOT being able to afford activities of choice is somehow miraculously a good thing? Did I say my kids were not engaged in exercise? Absolutely not. Since this is not one of the areas I choose to save money, I am fine. Did I say somewhere that I wanted to save money in this area or increase my kids' athletic activities? Or am I somehow beholden to save money on my kids' activities so I can date men? Now that makes no sense.

That is your choice to have this responsibility. Maybe there is a way you can do something different if this is too much of a burden,

I don't remember saying it was "too much of a burden". It is certainly not the way I see responsibility. Are you suggesting that I should abandon equity so that I can date someone who works minimum wage? What if I WANT to have a house? This is a bad thing?

[quote]
not saying it is but for my own experience, this rings true. Very much so but I won't get into why and change the subject completely. Part of it is... owning a house is not the investment it once was anyhow so either one is fine. Well at least here in California. We sold ours and plan on living on land, building an unpermited home to live in so that will save money. I understand that most people want to own a home and it may make financial sense to do so. And that's fine too.
Ditto

You stated you wouldn't like a poor guy.

Alright you can't read. That is fine. I never said that. Cheers.

[somebodynew]

I can't even. I just can't.

Originally Posted by OutdoorsyGal

Kids do not need College funds. There is proof College isn't all it's cracked up to be anyhow. BUT nothing wrong with it either... except honestly, if you are middle class, College may break you.

What the hell are you smoking? What does college isn't all that it's cracked up to be anyhow even MEAN? Education is the best way to a living wage.

You may want to go poor for a while since often College will make you even poorer. If you consider paying the full bill, jmho.

Who might want to "go poor"? I should date minimum wage workers, be unable to save to contribute to my children's education so that someone, not sure who won't be even poorer at some future time?

You're not a teenager anymore. Go to coffee. Go on a hike (you need your daily exercise anyhow) cook healthy meals at each others homes.

I'm sorry. On what planet to you get to decide what *I* enjoy doing? I'm not a teenager anymore? No ****. I could not afford to go on vacation as a teenager. I could not afford lift tickets as a teenager. I could not afford the ingredients to cook the kinds of things that I like to cook. All of this so that I may date a man who makes minimum wage... why? I am not lacking in dates my own age and income bracket. So what am I doing this for?

Go join a cycling club. Join a chess club. Go to a free event in your community. Visit the library. Watch tv at home. Volunteer to walk dogs. Go camping (if you know them very very well). I could go on and on.
There is no reason EITHER of you should be wasting money like that. Ok once in a while, sure. Splurge.

There is actually a reason. I enjoy it. I can afford it. There is no reason NOT to.

What in the world is a substandard boot or coat?

Ones that don't keep your feet dry and warm? Or your body dry and warm? Minimum wage is not a lot of money.
[quote]
or better yet, what in the world is the standard for boots and coats and who chooses that standard? is it you or someone else? This is makes no sense

You're not. Nor is he going to be "funneling money" <--interesting use of verbs.... towards you. None of you are more important than the other one. Make it equal
I suppose if they have funny ideas such as substandard boots and shoes ...there could be issues. Let the materialism go.

No...it depends upon whether you live in a high cola area versus your minimum wage. Wealth makes no difference. When we were poor, we had very wealthy friends (still do) but neither of us lived any different. They had an excellent nest egg at the time, we did not.

Everyone gets to choose their own lives. I live a middle class life. I don't feel the need to apologize for it or choose the lifestyle you choose. I don't have to. I am good with that.

[micC]

I would, but the truth is that I don't make much myself. I would be on barely more than the minimum wage, except for the fact that I get enhanced pay at my job for working the night shift.

I would probably rather that I was dating someone who didn't make much more than me, because that would make me feel more insecure about my own economic status and fear that my lack of career progress would become a problem for him.

Like many people here ostensibly do, I used to look down on people in low wage work. But then the economy crash happened, I realised that my university degrees didn't set me apart from my peers, and I spent a lot of time unemployed before even managing to land a minimum wage job.

[Ginge McFantaPants]

Originally Posted by OutdoorsyGal

Kids do not need College funds. There is proof College isn't all it's cracked up to be anyhow. BUT nothing wrong with it either... except honestly, if you are middle class, College may break you. You may want to go poor for a while since often College will make you even poorer. If you consider paying the full bill, jmho.

Yes, kids do need college funds if you want to help them pay for it without racking up debt; it doesn't have to "break you" if you plan ahead and starting putting aside whatever you can from the get-go. It's one thing for two adults to choose to eke out a living on minimum wage, but you do a huge disservice by not planning for the possibility that your children will want to pursue a career path that requires college. IMO, money (and poor financial planning on their parents' part) should not be a reason for someone to have to forgo college.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete

Yes, kids do need college funds if you want to help them pay for it without racking up debt; it doesn't have to "break you" if you plan ahead and starting putting aside whatever you can from the get-go. It's one thing for two adults to choose to eke out a living on minimum wage, but you do a huge disservice by not planning for the possibility that your children will want to pursue a career path that requires college. IMO, money (and poor financial planning on their parents' part) should not be a reason for someone to have to forgo college.

Agree. College really isn't an optional thing nowadays. I haven't worked anyplace that would hire a receptionist without at least a bachelors in a decade.

[OutdoorsyGal]

Originally Posted by somebodynew

I am not sure you are qualified to tell me what *I* think the best activities are and how much they cost, thank you very much.

You're the one who differentiated kid activities based on cost. I didn't. I only responded to that part with the reminder that the best activities in life are exercise related and free. I also listed examples. Many are very low cost also. So dating a man making minimum wage seems quite dooable. No need to pass up a good one over some unnecessary standard that kids activities must be the reason you must pass up a good guy.

I don't disagree that these are good activities. I don't classify them as the most important, at least not exclusively. The benefits that my children have reaped from martial arts in terms of confidence, fitness and self defense is amazing. The benefits from the music lessons no less so.

Music lessons are not exercise so I don't really see alot of benefits since music is free anyhow, at least in terms of priority being rated by cost of doing each activity. And the dramatic decision to pass up a good guy because you feel kids activities must make that decision for you. Especially when the best and healthiest kids activities are free. They'll reap far more from having a good guy be their stable full time father along with a stable full time mother and that will reap more benefits than some paid children's activity.
Which is what we are discussing. Martial Arts is something we all did, at one point I had a green belt as did my son. But had we not, we'd not be the better nor worse for it. We'd still be healthy since we value exercise but with more money in our pocket. But had we been attacked, well that outcome could be different. My opinion is if you are going to pay, that is exercise which you might really benefit from due to being able to defend yourself.

They have chosen activities that are good for them based on what they have been able to learn and achieve, as I mention above.

What they have achieved? These are kids, not adults. You say you choose their activities well slow down and choose based upon logic and not cost. Especially when you placed in your mind it's an either or regarding dating a good guy who happens to make minimum wage

I am not sure what you are suggesting? NOT being able to afford activities of choice is somehow miraculously a good thing?

No. I said the best activities are exercised based and free. I stated it as fact. Sure you can pay to exercise but there is no need to. You are the one who differentiated activities as those that cost money being better than those that do not. That is FAR from the truth but your Martial Arts example came darn close. Since it does provide protection from possibly bodily harm. But overall, the topic still rests on your words that you do not want to date someone who makes minimum wage because of substandard boots, coats and children's activities which cost money. When they need not cost ANY money since the best ones are free anyhow. Not an achievement, it just is.

Did I say my kids were not engaged in exercise? Absolutely not.

That wasn't our discussion. Again, you differentiated between activities which are free being less than those which are not. When the best, healthiest activities are free. That is how that discussion started. The either or of paying for children's activities as being the reason, or a reason, you can't date a good guy who brings in minimum wage is just something conjured up in your mind. There is no Either / Or

Since this is not one of the areas I choose to save money, I am fine.

I never said you weren't. But your distorted reasoning for disallowing dates with good guys who don't make as much as you want was flawed.

This post is messed up by this one dot I cut and pasted earlier...which is messing up the words.. preventing me from continuing. Sorry about that, I'll continue in another post

[somebodynew]

Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete

Yes, kids do need college funds if you want to help them pay for it without racking up debt; it doesn't have to "break you" if you plan ahead and starting putting aside whatever you can from the get-go. It's one thing for two adults to choose to eke out a living on minimum wage, but you do a huge disservice by not planning for the possibility that your children will want to pursue a career path that requires college. IMO, money (and poor financial planning on their parents' part) should not be a reason for someone to have to forgo college.

Yah the other one I missed was the house not being an investment anymore. Houses were devalued during the housing bubble crash. But people whose income was not changed through the rest of the recessive happenings were forced out of their houses except those who accepted risky variable rate mortgages. I remember being offered one of those when we were looking and thinking... wait, so you want me to buy a McMansion? You are going to tell me I can "afford it"? But next week you can increase my interest rate by whatever you want, and there is not a damned thing I can do about it? MMMM No thanks. I think I will stick with our modest ranch in the country.

[Chowhound]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Agree. College really isn't an optional thing nowadays. I haven't worked anyplace that would hire a receptionist without at least a bachelors in a decade.

WTH?? What have you been smoking lately??? Has someone hijacked your account??? LOL

[MarshallV84]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Agree. College really isn't an optional thing nowadays. I haven't worked anyplace that would hire a receptionist without at least a bachelors in a decade.

It largely depends on your geographical location and what kind of work you want to do. The trades pay some serious money, my brother is uneducated and easily clears 250K a year now. He started a laborer - foreman - project manager. He owned his own business for awhile but decided to go back to work for his old company since the life/work balance was more appealing.

I know quite a few guys who have similar stories in the trades. Electrical/pipe fitters/line work.

If your goal is to live in a large city and have that white collar life then college is the safest route for success, I think your work ethic and networking has more to do with success than a degree. I'm glad I went but I still got lucky. The latter is half the battle IMO.

Anyway..

My future and finances are secure, I couldn't care less what my date/girlfriend made. Like Chowhound says, if she can take care of her biz that's enough for me. Living where I do it's usually rich stuck up women or broke college girls taking a break after school. Ha