Never married men/women and dating women/men with kids - just WOW (marriage, love)

[robertpolyglot]

I am a never married white collar male. People are surprised when they meet me and hear this. Too much school and changed careers - my fault for that.

This will inevitably pi** some women posters off. I have always tried to date childless professional women, preferably never married as well. I feel that there is way too much in common and they've traveled the same road I have. I can't stand when a woman with kids, who may be interested, immediately begins to talk about her kids to you...as if you really care about kids produced by and loyal to another man, assuming he's even minimally in the picture. It's an incredible conflict of interests. I just walk away.

One disturbing thing I see is that a lot of never-married women have an intimacy problem. They can be incredibly cold. Two very attractive never-married women I know admitted to being incestually molested as children and have spent a lot of time in therapy. I can't change that and am sorry that they are missing out on emotional and yes, even PHYSICAL, intimacy which I enjoy a LOT. One talk show said it has occurred to 1 in 7 women and that, for men, it's about half that figure. That's 14% of the female population...unbelievable.

So, the question, wouldn't you never-married men prefer to date never-married women or childless women? And wouldn't you never-married women prefer to date a never-married or childless man? As for the latter, it seems so many women don't care...what, the dude's ejaculated and created offspring...does that make him more virile? C'mon.

[2mares]

I can't stand when a woman with kids, who may be interested, immediately begins to talk about her kids to you...as if you really care about kids produced by and loyal to another man, assuming he's even minimally in the picture. It's an incredible conflict of interests. I just walk away.

That better than letting you get interested first then telling you about her kids.

Im not a never married woman, widowed 2 grown kids, married again but just barely. If I ever dated again I would prefer a man with no kids. Just simplier that way. I think your wise to date women that you have more in common with. It seems you dont care for children so you should avoid women with kids.

[Twinkle Toes]

Robert - have I got the perfect woman for you!!! Her name is Stacy K and you can see her posts on these forums. I think the two of you would really hit it off and she would just be super IDEAL for you!

[DareToDream]

Originally Posted by robertpolyglot

I am a never married white collar male. People are surprised when they meet me and hear this. Too much school and changed careers - my fault for that.

This will inevitably pi** some women posters off. I have always tried to date childless professional women, preferably never married as well. I feel that there is way too much in common and they've traveled the same road I have. I can't stand when a woman with kids, who may be interested, immediately begins to talk about her kids to you...as if you really care about kids produced by and loyal to another man, assuming he's even minimally in the picture. It's an incredible conflict of interests. I just walk away.

One disturbing thing I see is that a lot of never-married women have an intimacy problem. They can be incredibly cold. Two very attractive never-married women I know admitted to being incestually molested as children and have spent a lot of time in therapy. I can't change that and am sorry that they are missing out on emotional and yes, even PHYSICAL, intimacy which I enjoy a LOT. One talk show said it has occurred to 1 in 7 women and that, for men, it's about half that figure. That's 14% of the female population...unbelievable.

So, the question, wouldn't you never-married men prefer to date never-married women or childless women? And wouldn't you never-married women prefer to date a never-married or childless man? As for the latter, it seems so many women don't care...? C'mon.

I personally don't think it's that cut and dried. People should date those with whom they are comfortable. If that means someone who has never married/had childred, then that's what they should do.

When I was single it didn't bother me to date a man who had children from a previous marriage and/or relationship - in fact it often gave me insight into the type of person they were, but that's just me.

However, in reading the part I bolded, that sounds like jealousy, but of course I may be reading it wrong, too. Are you also not interested in dating anyone who has ever been married or in a relationship prior to you?

I'm not trying to judge you here, I'm really curious.

In the end, what matters is for a person to be with someone with whom they are comfortable. If that means being with someone with no past marriage and/or no children, then that's who the person should be with.....

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

I for one think its a good thing you know what you want and don't want. Don't make the mistake of getting involved with someone and then afterward realizing you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who has children already.

[Jefetio]

I'm divorced with kids and my perception is that never married women without kids really don't care to date guys with kids. So either my perception is off or yours is.

[Ankhharu]

I've been divorced for almost 4 years, but I have no kids. My problem is, I don't want kids, and it seems that the bulk of the woman I meet already have kids. As far as the married or never been married, I prefer someone who has been married. I guess because I would like a long term relationship, however, I have no desire to get married ever again. So it's harder to sell that to someone who has never been married because they think they are missing out on something and those of us who have been married know that marriage is not all it's cracked up to be. Throw in the fact that I don't want kids ever, mine or some one else's and you've got yourself a bit of a headache in the world of relationships and dating.

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

Originally Posted by Jefetio

I'm divorced with kids and my perception is that never married women without kids really don't care to date guys with kids. So either my perception is off or yours is.

Frankly I would probably be less likely to be interested in a man with no children simply for the fact that if your not used to being around kids, I'm not sure how much you would enjoy being in my life.

I am not the kind to put my daughter on the back burner either for a date that wants center stage. A man who has children is less likely I would think to want that.

[easternerDC]

Originally Posted by robertpolyglot

I am a never married white collar male. People are surprised when they meet me and hear this. Too much school and changed careers - my fault for that.

Based on what you wrote below. I personally, am not surprised that you are not married.

I can't stand when a woman with kids, who may be interested, immediately begins to talk about her kids to you...as if you really care about kids produced by and loyal to another man, assuming he's even minimally in the picture. It's an incredible conflict of interests. I just walk away.

The difference between you and other people is that there are some people who are more than happy to be an influence and a part in a child's life. My mom remarried when I was 18 to a man who had divorced but never had kids. He is a very positive influence in my life and offers a lot of support and advice. Even though I was "produced by another man's sperm". Not sure what that is such a huge issue to you.

So, the question, wouldn't you never-married men prefer to date never-married women or childless women? And wouldn't you never-married women prefer to date a never-married or childless man? As for the latter, it seems so many women don't care...what, the dude's ejaculated and created offspring...does that make him more virile? C'mon.

Because for a lot of people it really is not that big of a deal. Some people are emotionally mature enough to handle the fact that people have been a part of someone else's life.

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

Originally Posted by easternerDC

Based on what you wrote below. I personally, am not surprised that you are not married.

The difference between you and other people is that there are some people who are more than happy to be an influence and a part in a child's life. My mom remarried when I was 18 to a man who had divorced but never had kids. He is a very positive influence in my life and offers a lot of support and advice. Even though I was "produced by another man's sperm". Not sure what that is such a huge issue to you.

Because for a lot of people it really is not that big of a deal. Some people are emotionally mature enough to handle the fact that people have been a part of someone else's life.

I agree with your assesment here, some people are not made to have children and some are certainly not made to raise other peoples children. It takes a selfless person and someone who can love a child even though that child doesn't carry their genes. Frankly its a good thing he knows his mind and doesn't get involved with a woman with kids and then have it all fall apart because her kids are annoying or he is not getting enough attention or made from another mans sperm.