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Old 02-04-2016, 11:20 AM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,014,864 times
Reputation: 12265

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Not to mention pouring over phone records to piece this puzzle together.

 
Old 02-04-2016, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,371,259 times
Reputation: 53067
I'm still not quite wrapping my head around the idea of being appalled by the fact that somebody had sex prior to meeting you, particularly when you are obviously older adults, and there should be no expectation that anybody is without a sexual/relationship past.
 
Old 02-04-2016, 11:52 AM
 
8 posts, read 6,671 times
Reputation: 20
I went through a really messy divorce where I was cheated on behind my back, so yes I understand that I am a little insecure. This thing pieced itself together while I was sitting at a traffic light, so I went back on my iPad which stores all of my old records of everything to confirm. The way my mind works for my job is to take bits and pieces of data and try to make sense of it. Then out of the blue the answer drops into my lap.

Again I was in blissful ignorance up until a week or so ago.

The Yelp review had a cryptic sentence or two in it that I never understood when I first read all of her Yelp reviews a year ago. Then when I pieced together the timing of the review and she wasn't "driving her kid back to college" like she said she was on that date it all made sense. This is all rather silly for me to obsess about, I have a woman who's crazy for me who doesn't give much thought at all to what I was up to before we met.
 
Old 02-04-2016, 11:56 AM
 
8 posts, read 6,671 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
I'm still not quite wrapping my head around the idea of being appalled by the fact that somebody had sex prior to meeting you, particularly when you are obviously older adults, and there should be no expectation that anybody is without a sexual/relationship past.
That's not it, I expected her to have a past. Just the timing of the incident. She was sending me innocent texts while at the same time setting up a date to hook up. Knowing that 24 hours before we met in person she was sleeping with a random stranger that she met on Tinder. Can't make sense of getting the innocent girl next door phone calls and texts while she was doing the polar opposite with another guy at the same time.
 
Old 02-04-2016, 12:00 PM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,014,864 times
Reputation: 12265
So she should want to/have to immediately sleep with everyone she is interested in, to be fair?

P.S. The "innocent girl next door" also likes to have sex. Most healthy adults do.
 
Old 02-04-2016, 12:02 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,805,613 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne View Post

P.S. The "innocent girl next door" also likes to have sex.

They're usually the nasty good ones.
 
Old 02-04-2016, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,103,552 times
Reputation: 22274
She hadn't even met you yet. But if you want to throw away your relationship because you can't stop obsessing about something that happened before she met you - you are free to do so. It's your life. You can screw it up if you want to.
 
Old 02-04-2016, 12:08 PM
 
Location: NY>FL>VA>NC>IN
3,563 posts, read 1,868,049 times
Reputation: 5996
I get it, OP.

That she is a middle aged female makes it seem worse. She should have better morals, better self control better SENSE at her age than to hop in bed with a stranger she met on some app, as though she were a 19y/o college student. Gives the impression she was desperate for male attention, even from a stranger. Ew.

Drunken postings, banging complete strangers WITHOUT protection, says something about her CHARACTER, and her decision making processes, and her morals, and her impulse control. She could have gotten HIV, was she too drunk to think of that? Too cavalier to care? Too desperate for sex? All are...unattractive possibilities.

Is that the sort of female you want to marry?

So yeah, I can totally see why this would give you pause.

Has nothing to do with being insecure nor possessive as some are suggesting.

I think what she did was kinda gross. More than kinda, really.
 
Old 02-04-2016, 12:13 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,639,380 times
Reputation: 54729
Your efforts to link "innocence" and sexuality speaks to some deep-seated hangups around sex.

Did you go to Catholic school? Do you watch a lot of porn that stimulates feelings of shame and "being dirty"?
 
Old 02-04-2016, 12:16 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
10,200 posts, read 17,783,003 times
Reputation: 13913
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Your efforts to link "innocence" and sexuality speaks to some deep-seated hangups around sex.
Exactly, you said it better than I could.
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