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Thank you for your encouragement and advice. Work and love can feel so hopeless. My boss is in their early 30s and many of the other bosses are in their late 20s. They all hang out together, go to happy hour together. I feel like I started doing things late and missed the bus. I am the "old" lady that has a lot of work experience and worked in a variety of settings but I work with people that started in the organization straight out of college. They even marry other people in the organization. These young people are so together and seem to make all the right moves in every aspect of their life.
Can a woman over 40 who has never had a relationship and not for lack of trying ever hope to find a spouse. I have never had any luck with men. I never really meet any men that are interested. I am average looking and I watch my weight. My job is decent. I feel like I have not accomplished much of anything. I work with all these young 20 and 30 somethings that have better jobs and spouses. I feel like a loser all the time. I just can't compete. I work with a 25 yr old that was on a gymnastics team and is a lawyer that graduated from a top tier law school. This is just one example.
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
You need to work on self confidence. Your depressed and despondent attitude show, think Eeyore. People don't want to be with someone that is down all the time.
Get a life coach. Set some goals. Get a makeover. Find a hobby that you love. Do things that make you happy and people will see that.
You will never be a 25 year old gymnast/lawyer, but you can be an incredible you.
Women have a tremendous upper hand in the dating market, no matter their age. It should be easy to find someone depending on what you're looking for.
That is only true for teens and early 20's- after that the tide turns toward men having the upper hand. Having said that the fact that she is 40 and has never had a relationship (though she wants one) means something is amiss.
Someone mentioned depression, and that is a strong possibility.
I used to play softball on a coed league. One of my teammates was 67 years old. We worked together. Martha also played on a senior's league. She was a badass.
She marched into the office one day and announced she was retiring. She had a rock the size of a skating rink on her left hand. Seems that she had fallen in love with a guy in her senior's softball league and he wanted her to retire so they could travel the world together.
Martha wasn't sitting around comparing herself to others. She was a cantankerous pain in my ass and I was glad when she retired. That said, I always liked and admired her. Maybe there's something you could learn from Martha. Don't wait too long.
If you think most married people are walking around blissed out because they are married, you'd be wrong.
Relationships take work. You also have to give up something to maintain them. I don't mean that in a negative way. Perhaps you are not willing to give an inch to keep your man. Or your expectations don't mesh with reality.
I know you want the real deal OP, but, there is nothing wrong with dating around enjoying yourself just to get some "practice" and see what kind of man you attract/are attracted to.
I know many single women. They just don't find many partners that fulfill them enough that they want to commit to that instead of their full single lives. If you can have everything of both worlds (some couples do) then they would be more open to committing.
For me, my perfect husband would have his own house next door
DC area, there are many good looking, educated women here
Honestly stop putting yourself down, Every man has their own idea and opinion of beauty so I've no doubt there are men about that think your " good looking "
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