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That's opting out of marriage, which is different. Although, not being married costs a man about an extra 20 to 30 thousand dollars per year.
You've got to help me with this math. I've been married twice and the combined duration was about 7 years. I was the dominant income earner both times. Between cash burn spending for two and divorce settlements, it was probably approaching $100K per year. Sure, married filed jointly might have saved me a few bucks on income taxes but it was dwarfed by everything else.
You've got to help me with this math. I've been married twice and the combined duration was about 7 years. I was the dominant income earner both times. Between cash burn spending for two and divorce settlements, it was probably approaching $100K per year. Sure, married filed jointly might have saved me a few bucks on income taxes but it was dwarfed by everything else.
The average income of a single guy is 20 to 25 thousand less than a married guy. Add on to that tax and household expenses.
Yours may have been different, but, still, if you lost out, that was due to poor planning on your part.
I never had problems finding women. It was picking the right one that I've always sucked at.
Quote:
Originally Posted by torontocheeka
...The laws being what they are, maybe men and women should put serious thought into forming relationships with those who are roughly their equal, income-wise. Then they both have the same amount to lose if anything goes wrong.
But here's the thing. Geoff - I don't mean to abuse your case as an example, so please accept my apology for possible exaggeration - but it's useful for illustrative purposes. Suppose, then, that a person like Geoff recovers from his/her divorce(s), earns good money, saves, invests, and becomes a no-kidding "high net worth individual". Congratulations, right? Well, not entirely. Where will Geoff, or the female version of Geoff, find a spouse who is his/her "equal"? Remember, that the vast majority of affluent people are already married.
Quote:
Originally Posted by torontocheeka
... Like I mean, if you're telling me that ALL men want a 20-year-old girlfriend and no man will find me attractive at 35 or 40, are you not implicitly saying that you are one of them? ...
[quote snipped for brevity] I have no desire to speak for "MRA", nor can I presently report much from the viewpoint of younger people.
Rather, my observation is that so many older women are saying, "You know, I was married for 20 years, and was unhappy. Now I'm divorced, and happy. Why would I want to wash another pair of crusty boxer-shorts? Screw that whole marriage thing!" Or: "I've been in semi-steady relationships for 20 years. I take care of myself, still look great, and can attract male attention without particular effort. Why should I saddle myself with a husband, especially at this age? If I feel sexual yearnings, I can find a temporary release at the nearest bar."
Will more angry, bitter, woman hating "men" who think the world somehow favors women be going their own way? God, I sure hope so. Self weeding makes things so much easier for the rest of us.
The average income of a single guy is 20 to 25 thousand less than a married guy. Add on to that tax and household expenses.
Yours may have been different, but, still, if you lost out, that was due to poor planning on your part.
Thats cause and effect. Many women trip over high earning men but completely ignore more "average earners."
As for MGTOW being for losers I sort of ascribe to the notion. And yes Ive been laid thousands of times in all manners from one night stands to long term relationships, so no Im not gay or incapable.
Ive also had two very serious relationships that lasted about 2 years. Both at the end tried to trap me by faking not taking pills and getting pregnant. To claim that SOME women dont try to manipulate men with sex is laughable. Happens all the time. Ive always been fairly skeptical though, and have always gone through means to protect myself, so getting hoodwinked isnt happening.
My father still pays his ex wife over 40k a year despite the fact she works and both of her grown children live over 2000 miles away from her. I find it hard to believe marriage is fair and equitable, though the good news is it might be getting better. As for tying yourself legally to someone in a contract with a 40% failure rate no thanks. It seems to do little good anyway as ive had women lie about marital status just to have sex with me.
When I read stuff like this, it really makes me think about the whole "assortative mating" thing again. I think it makes sense. You can't have a relationship with no trust. I wouldn't want something like that to be in the back of my significant other's mind if we were considering building a life together. The laws being what they are, maybe men and women should put serious thought into forming relationships with those who are roughly their equal, income-wise. Then they both have the same amount to lose if anything goes wrong.
I'm 57. I'll likely get married for a 3rd time at some point. My income is too high to have much luck finding a spouse with the same income.
Ex-wife v1.0 was a district sales manager making about 1/3 what I did for salary at the time. I had started a company with a couple of friends before we were dating and sold it while we were married. At the divorce, she held out her hand looking for half. Welcome to "divide by 2 math" in a common property state.
Ex-wife v2.0 was an even bigger income spread but she had inherited/been gifted a large amount of real estate so our individual net worth was not too far off. About a year into our marriage, her father had terminal cancer and blew his brains out in the family homestead that my then-wife owned. My marriage didn't survive that event. We had a verbal prenup but she was a mess so I poured a bunch of money into rehabilitation of her 250 year old house, paid her bills, and bought her a new car as we were getting divorced even though I had no legal or contractual obligation to do that. It was the right thing to do. She'd plunged into depression and decided that I was part of it. Nothing I could do about it.
At age 57, I can't afford a "divide by 2" event or I'll be living in a cardboard box and eating dog food as a retiree. Assuming I remarry, there would have to be a prenup. My spouse would get it all if I died but if the marriage failed, we'd both have to exit with the assets we brought into the marriage. We all have our baggage and trust issues. At this age, anybody I marry is bound to be divorced and have their own set of baggage and trust issues. All you can do is work at it every day.
I'm 57. I'll likely get married for a 3rd time at some point. My income is too high to have much luck finding a spouse with the same income.
Ex-wife v1.0 was a district sales manager making about 1/3 what I did for salary at the time. I had started a company with a couple of friends before we were dating and sold it while we were married. At the divorce, she held out her hand looking for half. Welcome to "divide by 2 math" in a common property state.
Ex-wife v2.0 was an even bigger income spread but she had inherited/been gifted a large amount of real estate so our individual net worth was not too far off. About a year into our marriage, her father had terminal cancer and blew his brains out in the family homestead that my then-wife owned. My marriage didn't survive that event. We had a verbal prenup but she was a mess so I poured a bunch of money into rehabilitation of her 250 year old house, paid her bills, and bought her a new car as we were getting divorced even though I had no legal or contractual obligation to do that. It was the right thing to do. She'd plunged into depression and decided that I was part of it. Nothing I could do about it.
At age 57, I can't afford a "divide by 2" event or I'll be living in a cardboard box and eating dog food as a retiree. Assuming I remarry, there would have to be a prenup. My spouse would get it all if I died but if the marriage failed, we'd both have to exit with the assets we brought into the marriage. We all have our baggage and trust issues. At this age, anybody I marry is bound to be divorced and have their own set of baggage and trust issues. All you can do is work at it every day.
Why bother to remarry at all, just date and or shack up, why bother at 57 and with too much stuff to lose as you said your self.
I'll ask you the same question this thread is about mgtow so why are all you men and women who don't agree with me here? It couldn't be to shame me now could it?
Because this is a relationship forum, not a anti-relationship forum.
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Because marriage confers onto both partners important rights and privileges, which become ever more important as we grow older and more frail.
I've spent time researching it, the only benefit that you can't get unless married at least ten yrs is social security benefits if one spouse dies and made a lot more money than the other the other can claim the difference. The other stuff can be dealt with by drawing up legal docs such as living wills, power of attorney etc etc etc.
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