Relationships and disfavored employment types (men, love, cheating, gay)
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
I agree that the moral/danger aspect is a major drawback. I would add to that any job that makes it really hard to actually spend time together/date (AKA someone who is away a lot on business).
I think it's important to note that these things don't make a person undatable, but it would make them less desirable to date (all things being equal).
Yeah, I've been chatting with a woman that is a nurse (generally I work well with them), but she's third shift weekends for 15 or so years. Nice, might have something in common, but that's just a relationship killer.
I won't say disfavored in general, but there are professions that attract certain personalities that I've found make them not ideal for me.
I've never had any luck dating accountants or lawyers. I'm sure there may be some good ones out there for me, but I've dated 3 lawyers and 3 accountants, and worked with many more of each, and they just don't seem to jive with who I am. I do tend to jive well with teachers, nurses, project leaders, and creative types.
Yes, you seem to be in good company there with having certain "types" that don't fit well:
"She said she married her an architect, he kept her warm and safe and dry
She would have likes to say she loved the man but she didn't like to lie"
Define shady and disreputable. Stripper, dancer, adult entertainment, bouncer, and used car salesmen are all legal occupations. Weed dealer in certain states is also legal. There exists shady individuals working as business owners, lawyers, etc.. too...
I don't believe minimum wage is capable of sustaining an individuals living expenses much less a family.. thus entering a relationship with a "dependent". A used car salesman, for example, can possibly support oneself and family. Even a stripper can for a period of time.
As for me. yes.. and I have had a relationship with someone in one of the occupations listed. We ended the relationship for other reasons; I wanted children and she already had 2 with no aspirations for more was one of the reasons.
Yes, what I had in mind are occupations which are legal but regarded as perhaps something less than reputable.
I won't say disfavored in general, but there are professions that attract certain personalities that I've found make them not ideal for me.
I've never had any luck dating accountants or lawyers. I'm sure there may be some good ones out there for me, but I've dated 3 lawyers and 3 accountants, and worked with many more of each, and they just don't seem to jive with who I am. I do tend to jive well with teachers, nurses, project leaders, and creative types.
This.
I've had far better experiences, with compatibility and personality, with educators, writers, creative types, and some in STEM (software developers and computer programmers).
LE and military was often a no-go. My exH was the rare type that fit more of my type (not uber patriotic/nationalistic/religious/conservative).
I agree that the moral/danger aspect is a major drawback. I would add to that any job that makes it really hard to actually spend time together/date (AKA someone who is away a lot on business).
I think it's important to note that these things don't make a person undatable, but it would make them less desirable to date (all things being equal).
Yes I would find it hard to deal with myself the lack of time spent together
I've dated strippers and I have 3 mates that are bouncers, I wasn't serious with the strippers ( only casual ) and my bouncer friends have women all over them.
BUT the strippers I wouldn't seriously date because of the danger and obviously being naked in front of other men don't help ( LOL! ) and my mates can't keep a serious relationship mainly because of the danger/unsociable hours and would you believe.......... Jealousy!. One of the said girlfriends checked up on him and went to his club he was working in....... He had 2 women cuddling up to him!
Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit
None taken...
I've been told that I extend trust to easily... but a sales guy? One of the few situations when my guard is automatically on full alert. No offense to sales people.
But again... shady? nah.
" He would sell his own grandmother to make a profit "........ Well known saying LOL.
I know they are just earning a living but it's the way go about it, trying to sell somethings that they themselves wouldn't buy in a million years lol.
I've had far better experiences, with compatibility and personality, with educators, writers, creative types, and some in STEM (software developers and computer programmers).
LE and military was often a no-go. My exH was the rare type that fit more of my type (not uber patriotic/nationalistic/religious/conservative).
Basically more stable jobs?.
If so I agree it's more beneficial to date someone that has more stability around them
If so I agree it's more beneficial to date someone that has more stability around them
More so personality, worldview and background. Like Timber said, some, many, professions attract certain personalities and characters. I don't mesh well with some of these types.
For instance, military. I moved back to So Cal at the end of my first marriage, and was surrounded by military men. I met and dated many servicemembers (exH is a former Marine), but the vast majority were not my type at all. LE is not that different.
I had very polarized experience during my time as a poker player. Women generally responded one of three ways (in decreasing order of likelihood):
- Viewed that I was some sort of degenerate/addict. Obviously not a positive perception, so unless they were a codependent type or in some situation that their desire for a date/bf superseded that impression, they stayed away.
- Interpreted my situation as "likely to be very financially successful". They would view this positively, but in that case, I was the one who stayed away.
- Viewed me as a math/logic type, and were intrigued by the concept.
Only the third view could ever realistically turn into anything more than a ONS, but the nature of the career was such that people felt very strongly (one way or the other) about it, and therefore about my "potential" as a date/long-term partner.
So, my anecdotal experience would suggest that women can weigh that sort of thing pretty strongly (for good or bad, but in the view of a "disfavored" profession....more likely "bad"). But then, YMMV.
More so personality, worldview and background. Like Timber said, some, many, professions attract certain personalities and characters. I don't mesh well with some of these types.
For instance, military. I moved back to So Cal at the end of my first marriage, and was surrounded by military men. I met and dated many servicemembers (exH is a former Marine), but the vast majority were not my type at all. LE is not that different.
I do agree
I've known a barrister ( I'm not sure if you know the term it's the higher level lawyer in the UK ) and an investment banker years ago.
And they would talk about the stock exchange, the law, and corporate speak etc. Now obviously I'm sure you can guess that's not my strong suit LOL and to make it worse some of vocabulary they used was like Arabic to me ( ).
To some extent I agree when people say opposites attract as we did gel well in someways but the above was too much for me so it ended.
Oh, for sure, there have got to be millions lol. I wouldn't date a bouncer, nope, nor a "professional weed grower," as you put it. Nor a stock broker. Probably not a lawyer but don't know any so it's a moot point. I also would not date any professional musicians or a music tutor. I probably would date an accountant, maybe a teacher. I did date a male massage therapist for awhile lol.
I actually tend to be biased towards men who work in the trades, they're more down-to-earth, salt-of-the-earth types who are unambiguously not gay and tend to have great taste in music. Downside is a lot of them smoke.
My significant other though works a fairly boring and standard customer service job in an office.
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