Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,930,903 times
Reputation: 40635
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
I've always found people know they're ready, when they're willing to sacrifice something. Whether it's personal time, family time, work time, or sleep time. If you're unwilling to sacrifice certain things in life, you're just not ready for an adult relationship that requires responsibility. Just think about it. No one is going to do 100% what we do in life, so we have to be open to compromising in order to accommodate another person in our life.
In my experience, I've found that if I'm unwilling to compromise on things, or she's unwilling to compromise on things, then there's a good chance that our relationship won't go very far. I'm not saying that the sacrificing has to be all one sided either.
I'm talking to a woman right now where I've sacrificed sleep and personal "me" time in order to get to know her better. She's sacrificing the same in order to get to know me as well. Our expectations weren't high when we officially hung out one on one, yet things changed once we spent some time together.
I can tell a person isn't ready when they want to stick hard to many lines in the sand. This is coming from a guy that did the same things before and I ended up perpetually single as a result. When I wasn't willing to bend on things, women just took a take it or leave it attitude.
I have a male friend who is in his mid-40s and he's been in countless relationships, and wishes he could find the right woman to marry. I think he's found the right woman at least 20 times. He's very good at starting relationships but not with maintaining them. He still believes that the feeling you get for someone at the very beginning is "love" and that that feeling MUST last forever, or it's not the right relationship. He's sadly wrong, and he's going to remain a lonely guy until he learns that deeper love is real love. As soon as he doesn't feel that passionate-oh-God-my-hand-just-accidentally-brushed-yours-and-I-shuddered-with-ecstasy feeling, he thinks he's fallen out of love and he breaks up with the woman. Some people get almost "addicted" to the early feelings in a relationship, and they feel "withdrawal" when it diminishes. I've suggested that he either needs to decide to be a serial dater all his life and enjoy only the beginnings of relationships, OR he needs to try out a long term committed relationship and tolerate how feelings go up and down in waves, but also go much deeper. On one hand he says he understand this intellectually, but on the other hand, he still seems to be holding out for that idealized relationship where he and his partner have first-date feelings for years.
Haha, and I was one of them, over 20 years ago. Fortunately I wasn't in love with him, but I was shocked when he broke up with me suddenly after pursuing me so hard and the whirlwind romance we had. He poured out his heart to me early on and was definitely one of those "heart on his sleeve" types. I don't doubt that he really feels that way at the time. But we ended up as friends. Not close friends, but close enough that over the years I could hold up a mirror to him and remind him that he's doing the same thing over and over while complaining that he's lonely and always wanted a wife and children.
Smart women don't get involved with guys like this.
I don't think women have to be smart or dumb for this to happen. Every one of my relationships were different, because I was in a different place in life and wanting different things.
I don't think women have to be smart or dumb for this to happen. Every one of my relationships were different, because I was in a different place in life and wanting different things.
A guy who is all over a woman in the very beginning, going overboard with how crazy he is about her, telling her about how they are going to spend their lives together, saying how she is the most incredible woman he has ever met, etc is going to be the guy who gets "scared" and push her away.
Guys like this are easy to spot, so, yes, smart women will avoid them.
A guy who is all over a woman in the very beginning, going overboard with how crazy he is about her, telling her about how they are going to spend their lives together, saying how she is the most incredible woman he has ever met, etc is going to be the guy who gets "scared" and push her away.
Guys like this are easy to spot, so, yes, smart women will avoid them.
I'm guessing you've never made a mistake before in your life huh?
A guy who is all over a woman in the very beginning, going overboard with how crazy he is about her, telling her about how they are going to spend their lives together, saying how she is the most incredible woman he has ever met, etc is going to be the guy who gets "scared" and push her away.
Guys like this are easy to spot, so, yes, smart women will avoid them.
Actually no they aren't. You'd be surprised.
I've met guys who say these exact things and they stuck around for quite a while. Other women I know dated men like that for a long time as well, before they eventually broke it off with the guy so it's not that black and white.
A guy who is all over a woman in the very beginning, going overboard with how crazy he is about her, telling her about how they are going to spend their lives together, saying how she is the most incredible woman he has ever met, etc is going to be the guy who gets "scared" and push her away.
Guys like this are easy to spot, so, yes, smart women will avoid them.
I have several friends who ended up married to guys like that. They are very happy.
Sometimes "smart women" are averse to taking a risk too and end up alone. I know several woman like that too. They are single.
I have several friends who ended up married to guys like that. They are very happy.
Sometimes "smart women" are averse to taking a risk too and end up alone. I know several woman like that too. They are single.
It's all about where you're in life and how that person fits into your life at that time. There's bad people that date good people and good people that date bad people. There's been times in life where I hung on to certain people, because I just so desperately wanted it to work against my better judgment. That's something that can happen to anyone...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I know several woman like that too. They are single.
