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I (male) was kind of socially awkward throughout most of my 20's, so "fun" wasn't a compliment I was getting often, if at all. But as I got older, and essentially got practice with social interaction thanks to Meetup groups, I developed my social skills by leaps and bounds. Enough to start a lively group conversation with strangers on a train, although this usually only happens if I'm buzzed. Although in I'm in the right mood, I can pull that off even when stone-cold sober.
So starting around year 2012, I noticed girls/women complimenting not my intelligence (as it happened for as long as I remember), but rather "You're so much fun" to my face, or "He's so much fun" to their friends. Now this happens on a semi-regular basis, unless I'm in an environment that flat-out doesn't sit well with me, which are usually sedate house parties.
Obviously, this is a good thing. But how good? Does "fun" equal romantic interest, or is it kind of like asking "What does it mean when a lady opens her mailbox and looks inside?" In on other words, just comfort and/or enjoyment of being in my presence.
I (male) was kind of socially awkward throughout most of my 20's, so "fun" wasn't a compliment I was getting often, if at all. But as I got older, and essentially got practice with social interaction thanks to Meetup groups, I developed my social skills by leaps and bounds. Enough to start a lively group conversation with strangers on a train, although this usually only happens if I'm buzzed. Although in I'm in the right mood, I can pull that off even when stone-cold sober.
So starting around year 2012, I noticed girls/women complimenting not my intelligence (as it happened for as long as I remember), but rather "You're so much fun" to my face, or "He's so much fun" to their friends. Now this happens on a semi-regular basis, unless I'm in an environment that flat-out doesn't sit well with me, which are usually sedate house parties.
Obviously, this is a good thing. But how good? Does "fun" equal romantic interest, or is it kind of like asking "What does it mean when a lady opens her mailbox and looks inside?" In on other words, just comfort and/or enjoyment of being in my presence.
I think it's as you said yourself " enjoyment of being in my presence " more as a friend than anything else.
However I can see why it can be construed as she is interested romantically as it seems they are going out of there way to tell you ( to your face ) so......... Do you get any romantic vibes when they say it to you?
Hard to say if it's romantic or not. Although it does seem like they're going out of their way to tell me that. Usually it happens when I make a snappy pop culture reference in response to something a lady tells me, or a well-timed "That's what she said!" comeback, or simply when I'm in a happy, pumped-up mood. But usually, a playful hand-grab is as "romantic" as it gets. Perhaps I'm just reacting to being called "fun", as it is kind of a "new" compliment to me, rather than to being complimented in and of itself. (As opposed to, for example, being called "smart", which I react to the same way a model reacts to compliments on her looks.)
Either way, I'm happy that ladies think I'm fun, but I do wonder if I'm missing any opportunities by dismissing it as friendliness. Hence, this thread.
Hard to say if it's romantic or not. Although it does seem like they're going out of my way to tell me that. Usually it happens if I make a snappy pop culture reference in response to something a lady tells me, or a well-timed "That's what she said!" comeback, or simply when I'm in a happy, pumped-up mood. But usually, a playful hand-grab is as "romantic" as it gets on their part. Perhaps I'm just reacting to being called "fun", as it is kind of a "new" compliment to me, rather than to being complimented in and of itself. (As opposed to, for example, being called "smart", which I react to the same way a supermodel reacts to compliments on her looks.)
Either way, I'm happy that ladies think I'm fun, but I do wonder if I'm missing any opportunities by dismissing it as friendliness. Hence, this thread.
Yes I think you may well be overthinking things a touch BUT...... If you see one you like that has this playful behaviour ask her out, you may well miss out with one or two by reading it wrong but I'm sure in most cases you may well be missing out altogether .
I can promise you if a lady went out of her way to give me a compliment and exchanged playful banter I would have no problem in taking it further ( assuming of course I got " the vibe " beforehand ) I strongly suggest you do the same. Nothing ventured nothing gained and all.......
Don't over-analyze. It means your cool to be around. That type of positive vibe can provide the motivation for a women to want to get to know you better. It can be the beginning of romantic interest. Give it time. It'll happen. Maybe not with any of the women you hang out with now. But being able to create an attractive vibe like that is a skill. Don't knock it. The sad-sack loners on this forum would kill to be able to be the fun dude among women.
[quote=MountainHi;42979834]Don't over-analyze. It means your cool to be around. That type of positive vibe can provide the motivation for a women to want to get to know you better. It can be the beginning of romantic interest. Give it time. It'll happen. Maybe not with any of the women you hang out with now. But being able to create an attractive vibe like that is a skill. Don't knock it. The sad-sack loners on this forum would kill to beable to be the fun dude among women.[/QUOTE]
That's what I thought. There's a BIG difference between being a nice guy (I'm not referring to NiceGuy(R), although those aren't mutually exclusive) and a fun guy. It's the latter that usually gets introduced to a woman's friends if she doesn't like him romantically. Plus, it's a different way of being liked as a friend when a woman is having fun with you, as opposed to simply knowing you're OK; it just took me decades to realize that. Like I said, I'm happy with the skills I acquired, and I dropped that "sex/romance or nothing" attitude I harbored when I was younger. But I do want to make sure I don't miss opportunities.
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