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I have a true first love story. I met her in high school, at 16, and we dated for about three years. She wasn't my first girlfriend but she was my first love, and I was crushed when she broke up with me. We both went our separate ways, got married, had kids and both ended up divorced. I had only seen her twice briefly over 28 years, but we reconnected online last summer, and after a few weeks of chatting online, we met for coffee. When she hugged me in the parking lot at the coffee place, I knew I was done. I knew immediately that she wasn't "the one who got away", just "the one". Our connection was instant and complete, and we're getting married next summer. True love is an amazing thing, and being where I am with her now shows me that she wasn't only my first love, she really is the one true love of my life.
Second chances like this are rare, so if you ever get a chance like this with someone you love, take it. Life is way too short not to.
I think about him sometimes. But what was "love" to me then does not have the same definition as it does now. We actually did reunite years later, and we had fun for a short time but it was very clear that we had gone in two very different directions in life. So, I look back on our memories with fondness, but zero regrets and I definitely don't wish he was still in my life.
This. It's really that simple. Not everyone experiences love. Or they experience it later in life. Then some unlucky people may experience love with the wrong person, who doesn't love them.
My first love (not the first I dated) in high school and early college was pretty great in many ways, and at the time was the love of my life to that point. However, since moving on from her long ago, I've barely given her another thought, and don't compare anyone to her. I've met far better matches since then, who are far more compatible, and my current love is the true love of my life.
Perhaps each great relationship assumes the role of "love of your life" until it ends - and someone even better comes along. I don't expect this relationship (by far the best of all my relationships) to end until one of us dies, and there is no one worth comparing her to. If it ever becomes necessary to find another, I won't compare - I'll love her on her own merits or not at all.
I totally got over my first love and in fact am horrified looking back that I was ever crazy about him. I literally can't understand it now. It just seems weird to me. I wonder why I latched on. I wonder why I slept with him. He just seems SO unattractive to me looking back on it now. Not physically (he was average-looking, not unattractive/ugly at all) but personality-wise, just...what the hell did I want in him? There was nothing there (in him). Yet for about two years (I think it was) he was my whole world, OMG I HAD to be with him and all that stuff.
I'm not angry, I'm not bitter, literally years can go by until I have the occasion to think about him - for example, I realized recently that I must have just missed my 20th reunion (not sure they could find me!) and he came to mind because he was a big part of my high school years. I don't hate him (at all), it's just...I don't know...as I said, weird. That relationship, thoughts/memories of it, how we treated one another, etc. really doesn't affect my life at all and certainly hasn't affected my relationships.
I had a "great love" of my life some years later...now the loss of him I never quite got over...or, I got over it, I really don't think about him at all BUT I always feel that "tinge" on the off chance that he does come to mind (like now, because there's a thread about first loves), that feeling of: Oh damn it, that's too bad.
But again, that was years and several "big" relationships after my first "love."
People who still carry torches for their first loves mostly have not grown much in the relationship realm. People who learn from their past relationships, generally find each new relationship more fulfilling than those that were previous.
You mean going back to seeing each other maybe twice a year seems like as if he was some hotshot celebrity when really he just worked in a grocery store?
Sadly I still have lingering feelings for him so if I were to see him again, it would be tempting and I cannot bring myself to delete him off FB but I would not want to give in to him. At the time I accepted that I'd only see him this much as I was loyal but after not seeing him anymore...no more can I tolerate that. I think when you are interested enough in someone else it's easier to step back and say "this is not good for me so I do not want it"
Interesting article here about how we never quite get over that first love. Also how it becomes the one that we use to compare all the others that have followed. So, how often do you think about that first one? Does it seem to get better as time goes by? Would you want to reunite with your first love again if you could?
Definitely over my first love but it took me years and years to get past her. It gets better as time goes by but it gets better VERY slowly. I don't think about her very often anymore and wouldn't get back together now even if I could. Too much time has passed and too much has happened.
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