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Old 02-25-2016, 11:38 AM
 
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,055,818 times
Reputation: 2157

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30 View Post
Again mate I don't understand.

If it's not working for YOU why are you still doing it that way?
Because the other way makes me uncomfortable. I just don't understand why one would be on a date with someone if you:

  • don't know them
  • don't have romantic feelings for them
  • don't even necessarily feel comfortable spending time with them
I want to establish all those things before I go on a date with somebody.

This whole thing where you're taking a risk because you don't know the person...maybe some enjoy it, but it makes no logical sense to me.

I look at people on POF and most people on there make me feel that I want to sex with them, but none of them inspire the desire to get to know them etc. Maybe one or two but no one local whom I could actually meet, and if they inspired feelings of that nature, they were only slight feelings.

I have only developed feelings like that for people I knew already on a platonic basis.
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Old 02-25-2016, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,771 posts, read 11,986,606 times
Reputation: 30284
Quote:
Originally Posted by FC76-81 View Post
Seriously I can't count how many times I've met really hot women and started casually dating them without having sex. And after a month or so into it, finding out that they are not the type that I want to be having sex with.
I think your view is more common than is displayed on CD. I don't believe that it is just women who want to get to know the man a little more before sharing that intimate moment. Sex at any cost is not what many people are angling for, nor do they need it so badly that waiting beyond the first date is any sort of hardship. Well, except for lucky2balive who only cares that he got to "sex her", no matter what type of person she turns out to be.
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Old 02-25-2016, 11:49 AM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,488,101 times
Reputation: 12549
Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x View Post
Because the other way makes me uncomfortable. I just don't understand why one would be on a date with someone if you:

  • don't know them
  • don't have romantic feelings for them
  • don't even necessarily feel comfortable spending time with them
I want to establish all those things before I go on a date with somebody.

This whole thing where you're taking a risk because you don't know the person...maybe some enjoy it, but it makes no logical sense to me.

I look at people on POF and most people on there make me feel that I want to sex with them, but none of them inspire the desire to get to know them etc. Maybe one or two but no one local whom I could actually meet, and if they inspired feelings of that nature, they were only slight feelings.

I have only developed feelings like that for people I knew already on a platonic basis.
So you're telling me that you've never ever met a woman whether in a gym, pub or even a shop that you haven't had an instant connection with or even chemistry with?, And thought of pursuing?

I'm sure you have had a good few of them moments mate and believe me if you did step out of your comfort zone would be in a much better place with them.

if you say you just want to be friends first then a lot would be out off as you haven't gone for it and asked her out on a date.
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Old 02-25-2016, 12:03 PM
 
2,362 posts, read 1,915,192 times
Reputation: 4724
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
I think your view is more common than is displayed on CD. I don't believe that it is just women who want to get to know the man a little more before sharing that intimate moment. Sex at any cost is not what many people are angling for, nor do they need it so badly that waiting beyond the first date is any sort of hardship. Well, except for lucky2balive who only cares that he got to "sex her", no matter what type of person she turns out to be.
horse shat
I had plenty of long term relationships...its not always about sex
but both thumbs up on the inaccurate assessment
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Old 02-25-2016, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky2balive View Post
I let them coexist and know when its time for one or the other
Your posts indicate otherwise.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FC76-81 View Post
Seriously I can't count how many times I've met really hot women and started casually dating them without having sex. And after a month or so into it, finding out that they are not the type that I want to be having sex with.
This ^^^ is usually how it works.

People are different. The trick is to find the person/people who think like you, and sometimes it takes longer than a month. Of course, if people have bizarre habits, like using the word "sex" as a verb, it helps you find out sooner that you don't want anything to do with them.
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Old 02-25-2016, 12:09 PM
 
2,362 posts, read 1,915,192 times
Reputation: 4724
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Your posts indicate otherwise.



This ^^^ is usually how it works.

People are different. The trick is to find the person/people who think like you, and sometimes it takes longer than a month. Of course, if people have bizarre habits, like using the word "sex" as a verb, it helps you find out sooner that you don't want anything to do with them.
lmao
usually if a thread fires me up enough to post, my animalistic urges are a bit in the fore front
but I still retain basic intelligence...grog type words


and if womenz are that uptight that using the word sex as a verb bothers them, BULLET AVERTED...thank you baby jesus
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Old 02-25-2016, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Manchester, UK
914 posts, read 735,155 times
Reputation: 1868
Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x View Post
Yes, I agree, but again, I would ONLY be on a date with someone if I ALREADY KNEW THEM. By know them, I mean, we are platonic friends, we met in a platonic context (at a meetup, a club, on public transit, etc), we have known each other for months, we talk often, we feel comfortable together. If they are a stranger, we would would not be on a date.
That's how a lot of my relationships developed BUT there was always "flirty chemistry" between us from the start. A purely platonic friend? No way Well, actually... I did try that once. It just felt wrong whenever we kissed, touched etc. I tried to make it work but it never did. Wouldn't go there again.
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Old 02-25-2016, 12:45 PM
 
Location: Manchester, UK
914 posts, read 735,155 times
Reputation: 1868
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
People are different. The trick is to find the person/people who think like you, and sometimes it takes longer than a month.
Completely agree. I could never put a number on how soon I will have sex with someone. I've had it on a first date, other times it took way longer. It just depends on the people involved.

I used to be on OKCupid and one of the match questions is "Say you've started seeing someone you really like. As far as you're concerned, how long will it take before you have sex?". You can then choose between "1-2 dates", "3-5 dates", "6 or more dates" OR "only after the wedding". Now I definitely don't want to wait until after the wedding () but I could never give an answer to this particular question.
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Old 02-25-2016, 12:45 PM
 
8,168 posts, read 3,109,371 times
Reputation: 4500
Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer_Rain View Post
That's how a lot of my relationships developed BUT there was always "flirty chemistry" between us from the start. A purely platonic friend? No way Well, actually... I did try that once. It just felt wrong whenever we kissed, touched etc. I tried to make it work but it never did. Wouldn't go there again.
Kissing, touching, etc. wouldn't be a purely platonic friendship then.
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Old 02-25-2016, 12:57 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,834,525 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30 View Post
Again mate I don't understand.

If it's not working for YOU why are you still doing it that way?

Because like so many people on here he doesn't want to succeed. He'd rather have some sort of ideals that aren't based on reality than do something really scary, which is to connect with someone and become emotionally vulnerable.

It's about control. Lots of people here don't want to give up control.I get it, it can be scary.
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