Ready to wave the white flag on my dating life (how to, women)
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I guess I'm just wondering why all my friends are able to get good-looking, normal and friendly girlfriends/wives/etc but I'm left holding the proverbial bag of ****?
The image of yourself as someone who can't get a date is all in your head.
I saw a show on CNN hosted by Lisa Ling, titled "Pickup guru: 'I make men less creepy'. The show was about hopelessly undateable guys who went to a boot camp to learn how to approach women. By the end of the show those guys not only found dates, but the women were hot.
Don't give up. You just have to find your confidence.
I'm a fairly normal dude- got a job, got friends, got a car, apartment, can hold a conversation, not short, work out, dress okay
It's your personality. The majority of guys who post this type of post, and we get them here A LOT, all talk about what they have and what they do, but not who they are.
Everything you've listed about yourself is not unlike any other guy out there. It will always be your personality that differentiates you from the next guy who has a job, a car and a place to live.
It's your personality, and maybe as others have said, lack of hobbies and interests too.
Hey everyone sorry for the sob story but I'm feeling pretty hopeless and clueless. About to turn 33 years of age and it either feels like the world is passing me by or that I'm just a non-existent ghost. In all regards I'm a fairly normal dude- got a job, got friends, got a car, apartment, can hold a conversation, not short, work out, dress okay- all in all a NORMAL guy. However- All my friends, co-workers, acquaintances, seemingly are like all in relationships, dating or married. I'm happy for them but also extremely bitter (just being honest). I'm wondering if there truly is a god then for sure he/she has some sort of weird vendetta against me in the area of dating. Zero, zilch, nada. Tried online dating and it's a **** show. Tried being intriguing with girls at work- no luck. Tried being brave out at the bars/clubs, no luck. Was even willing to try foreign bride sites/mail order bride etc, but a friend talked me out of it. I'm trying to accept that I will be a single person forever or that a great relationship will evade me but also it makes me feel worthless, hopeless and clueless to life/existence. I'm wondering why I'm such an outlier (at least within my circle). I guess I'm just wondering why all my friends are able to get good-looking, normal and friendly girlfriends/wives/etc but I'm left holding the proverbial bag of ****? Just trying to make sense of my luck or lack thereof in the dating realm. Perhaps there is some sort of answer out there- whether it's scientific, or spiritual or some kind of meaning that is determining my utter, confusing lack of success in this area.
Being forever single is a difficult thing to accept but sometimes it is a necessity. Not everyone finds relationships, etc., because Some people are just not meant to.
Hey everyone sorry for the sob story but I'm feeling pretty hopeless and clueless. About to turn 33 years of age and it either feels like the world is passing me by or that I'm just a non-existent ghost. In all regards I'm a fairly normal dude- got a job, got friends, got a car, apartment, can hold a conversation, not short, work out, dress okay- all in all a NORMAL guy. However- All my friends, co-workers, acquaintances, seemingly are like all in relationships, dating or married. I'm happy for them but also extremely bitter (just being honest). I'm wondering if there truly is a god then for sure he/she has some sort of weird vendetta against me in the area of dating. Zero, zilch, nada. Tried online dating and it's a **** show. Tried being intriguing with girls at work- no luck. Tried being brave out at the bars/clubs, no luck. Was even willing to try foreign bride sites/mail order bride etc, but a friend talked me out of it. I'm trying to accept that I will be a single person forever or that a great relationship will evade me but also it makes me feel worthless, hopeless and clueless to life/existence. I'm wondering why I'm such an outlier (at least within my circle). I guess I'm just wondering why all my friends are able to get good-looking, normal and friendly girlfriends/wives/etc but I'm left holding the proverbial bag of ****? Just trying to make sense of my luck or lack thereof in the dating realm. Perhaps there is some sort of answer out there- whether it's scientific, or spiritual or some kind of meaning that is determining my utter, confusing lack of success in this area.
It sounds like you've tried everything but one of the most common strategies: getting involved in local activities, clubs, classes/workshops (cooking classes in exotic cuisines can be good), volunteer orgs, sports leagues, hiking groups or other recreation groups (boating, whatever), hobby groups, etc. You can meet a lot of people that way, so eventually, someone interesting should come your way. And btw, there are women your age out there who are looking, and feeling discouraged, too. Go find them.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,930,903 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
It's your personality. The majority of guys who post this type of post, and we get them here A LOT, all talk about what they have and what they do, but not who they are.
Everything you've listed about yourself is not unlike any other guy out there. It will always be your personality that differentiates you from the next guy who has a job, a car and a place to live.
It's your personality, and maybe as others have said, lack of hobbies and interests too.
This. What burns you? Where is your fire? What drives you? What when you're talking to someone on a date are you energetic about telling them about because it drives you? Your passions!
If it is, well, I like my job, movies, hanging with my friends and family... well, you know.
You're probably too picky. Yes, it's true, there are more single men than women up until the late 30's when there is finally equilibrium. So the odds are some guys will get left out of the dating arena until things turn more in their favour.
The solution of course would be too be less rigid when it comes to age. Few men will consider this, though.
You're probably too picky. Yes, it's true, there are more single men than women up until the late 30's when there is finally equilibrium. So the odds are some guys will get left out of the dating arena until things turn more in their favour.
The solution of course would be too be less rigid when it comes to age. Few men will consider this, though.
so a guy that struggles should wait until his late 30's to start dating when things are more even?
very encouraging advice...lol
at that point...i would just use women for casual sex and lie about wanting a relationship to get back at them.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,930,903 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2kCity33
so a guy that struggles should wait until his late 30's to start dating when things are more even?
Who said that? No one said don't try or to wait. I definitely struggled more in my 20s. That doesn't mean there weren't relationships to be had or connections to be made.
so a guy that struggles should wait until his late 30's to start dating when things are more even?
very encouraging advice...lol
at that point...i would just use women for casual sex and lie about wanting a relationship to get back at them.
No, my suggestion would be to consider dating significantly older and younger women to expand your options. Particularly as women in that older age demographic are facing many of the same problems.
But it seems from your vindictive attitude that the women who've vetted you thus far may in fact be taking the right course of action.
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