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The question of sanity deserves its own thread, so here I'll be brief. Of those women whom I got to know sufficiently well, as to have intimate conversations about their personal lives, I'd say that half to two-thirds admitted to being on prescription antidepressants.
I did the math and figured that I've cooked approximately 15,000 meals in 20 years. If a meteor falls on the man and I find myself single again, I'm done. I'll have an FWB or two and live in a tiny house with everything just how I want it. I'm not interested in interviewing people and auditioning to be someone's new cook and laundress.
This. At least for a while anyway, while I relish the freedom. After that, if the novelty wears off, I might consider sharing a living space again (or at least provide an empty drawer). So long as he isn't some helpless new bachelor who is looking for me to pick up where the last woman left off
And that's the perverse irony of it all... bad experiences lead to jadedness and hesitation, which are sensed, and lead to further bad experiences... and so forth, in a self-reinforcing negative loop.
This is why I got rid of meeting women online. Way too poor of an experience. Confidence is in the toilet from the whole process.
In response to the OP's question, what I've experienced is that women are looking for not settling for less than their perceived model of perfection they have in mind.
And that's the perverse irony of it all... bad experiences lead to jadedness and hesitation, which are sensed, and lead to further bad experiences... and so forth, in a self-reinforcing negative loop.
If a defeatist attitude makes them so blind and oblivious to the fact that they are their own worst enemy then so be it.
I think you completely overlooked the first part of his post. Constant disappointment with no success can wear anyone's self-esteem down which is where 49ersfan is at right now. So instead of saying this it would help to give some advice of how someone can keep their confidence up after repeated failure.
I think you completely overlooked the first part of his post. Constant disappointment with no success can wear anyone's self-esteem down which is where 49ersfan is at right now. So instead of saying this it would help to give some advice of how someone can keep their confidence up after repeated failure.
I can assure you I haven't overlooked anything mate .
I've been turned down God knows how many times yet I've done very well out of it with the opposite sex, and he's not had complete rejection has he? No he's had girlfriends and flings etc. We all get a little down now and again and our confidence suffers but the trick is to pick yourself up and keep going.
Now my post was not aimed at 49 but I was in agreement with Ohio peasant that's all or is what he said wrong as well?.
However yes I've never had a problem if honest in that department so I'm probably not the best judge so how does a man that gets constantly rejected improve his confidence then?
EDIT: ps I've only ever encouraged both 49 and other to improve their confidence and themselves on numerous occasions mate and I'm sure you've seen it haven't you?.
If you go in half heartily thinking she will say no then she will as she will sense your low opinion of yourself plus you would come off as not really interested in there eyes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113
I think you completely overlooked the first part of his post. Constant disappointment with no success can wear anyone's self-esteem down which is where 49ersfan is at right now. So instead of saying this it would help to give some advice of how someone can keep their confidence up after repeated failure.
There's one piece of advice mate and again I've only ever tried to help him and others on here previously so I've no idea where all that came from
I never really cared to begin with. I've always been single.
My experiences with romance haven't exactly been bad, but they weren't good either. The only, I guess; negative thing I can say, is I never got to date a guy I actually liked. It doesn't bother me anymore, though.
This is a subject most people don't want to admit but subconsciously both men and women become less attracted to their age group past a certain age, especially when we are talking 40+. Of course it doesn't pertain to everyone but physical attraction is important at the initial stages. And it becomes much harder to become physically attracted to someone as we all lose our looks to a degree as we age.
I agree most people become set in their ways, don't want to deal with all the hassles of a relationships, don't want to deal with more heartbreak, etc, etc, etc, and this impacts their interest in dating. But it's hard to want to date someone when there's no physical attraction, and it happens more as we become much older.
There was a thread in the Retirement section asking why widowed women don't want to re-marry or date past a certain age. Part of me thinks it's because the women are not attracted to the majority of men in their age group. We need physical attraction in the beginning to start and there's a lot less for older people. Of course not everyone needs it but it has to be there for the majority of us.
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