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There are literally millions of good guys out there. The problem is most women who have your complaint are not attracted to nor do they attract good men.
What you should be asking yourself is what it is about you that attracts you to these type of man and attracts them to you. You should also ask yourself why you put up with this kind of behavior. There are reasons for those things. Once you find those things out , you will have taken the first step towards solving your problem.
I have been getting estimates for a new roof, siding, stone work on my house. This evening a greasy, rough guy that is easily in his late 50's, shows up to measure the house.
He literally looked at me and asked if I had room for him to stay over if he got the job. seriously you would not believe the crap men will say to me. I do not flirt, or act in any way that he would think he has a chance with me. True story from 2 hours ago.
I wish I could say this was abnormal, but it happens ALL THE TIME...
I have been getting estimates for a new roof, siding, stone work on my house. This evening a greasy, rough guy that is easily in his late 50's, shows up to measure the house.
He literally looked at me and asked if I had room for him to stay over if he got the job. seriously you would not believe the crap men will say to me. I do not flirt, or act in any way that he would think he has a chance with me. True story from 2 hours ago.
I wish I could say this was abnormal, but it happens ALL THE TIME...
Doesn't prove that you attract men like them. I bet they talk to most women in that way
Some people (not just women) have put up with so much abuse and spent so much of their life being mistreated (for lack of a better term) that they grow so used to it. Even though they consciously want better, subconsciously, they gravitate towards or attract what resembles what they are used to.
I think it is a lack of self respect and has cultural elements. My experience would be too dated for comparison, given this, my granddaughter is a lawyer and is married to a lawyer; she has never been in any abusive relationship with men. If she had dated anyone, who had any affair outside their relationship, it would be over, same with any interest in past romances, she woukld never see them again, not on a romantic level. How do you explain this?
Doesn't prove that you attract men like them. I bet they talk to most women in that way
True.
Some men view scoring women as a numbers game and try the same thing with all the women they interact with. I think that's probably why so many women walk around with RBFS, maybe to ward off the those types of guys.
And usually they wouldn't let me go. My recent ex was abusive, but appeared to be the most loyal boyfriend. Never cheated and was completely in love with me and spent time with me all the time. We did a lot of things together. Now his rebound dumped him cos she found out he had been texting me all these times. I didn't know he had a rebound. He kept texting me how much he misses me, how sad he is and kept calling me love names like nothing happened. Even slept with me while he was starting to talk about a relationship with this rebound. I felt so annoyed by the whole situation like this kind of s*** never ends.
It never ends only because you continue to allow it. It sounds to me like you are too quick to give your heart away to the wrong man and then you drag it out, making excuses for him and overlooking bad behavior, because you are too invested in making it work.
You need to learn to how to detect and weed through men who are not good for you before you get too involved with them. Improve your break-up skills so that you can cut men loose swiftly and cleanly and move on without any drama. Most guys will display red flags within the first few dates. Be discerning and stop dating anyone who has shown any red/pink flags at all and end things right away. Because it never gets better, it only gets worse. Breaking up is easiest at that point (the first few dates) so don't date anyone beyond that unless he is freaking awesome.
My advice to you is to multi-date many men at a casual level for awhile. Don't be in a hurry for a LTR. Allow many men to compete for your attention. The inferior ones will fall away, and the remaining ones will teach you what it's like to date good men . You'll quickly learn that there are many good and bad men out there (and everything in-between).
If you want a happy, long term relationship, be patient. Eventually, one special man will stand apart from the others. Good luck!
I think it is a lack of self respect and has cultural elements. My experience would be too dated for comparison, given this, my granddaughter is a lawyer and is married to a lawyer; she has never been in any abusive relationship with men. If she had dated anyone, who had any affair outside their relationship, it would be over, same with any interest in past romances, she woukld never see them again, not on a romantic level. How do you explain this?
It's very simple. Your granddaughter sets firm boundaries and then enforces them. Women who constantly are involved with guys who don't treat them well don't know how to set and enforce healthy boundaries.
I have a much older boyfriend I rarely see lately unless he needs something and a guy I liked who recently lied to me and went back to his ex. This is depressing me. I sympathize with other women in similar situations and ask myself do any good men exist anymore?
Yes, of course they do. They are minding their own business, not expecting their girlfriends to flirt with other guys right under their noses.
Yeah but these are the type of men I attract. If it's a guy that seems good and normal, they don't have interest in me.
You have a skewed sense of interest from guys. The good guys are going to be less obvious in the beginning with their interest. They will start to get to know you, but as they do and see the red flags, they will lose interest.
You never notice the interest from the good guys because you are so used to the over-the-top interest from the not so good guys In the beginning. By the time the good guys would have developed an interest, they have lost interest because they have the common sense to avoid women with all the issues that you have.
Yeah but these are the type of men I attract. If it's a guy that seems good and normal, they don't have interest in me.
(Guy) Creeps have a way of picking out those women who seem vulnerable.
Do you always wait for guys to approach you ? Why not find someone who seems interesting and approach them.
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seriously you would not believe the crap men will say to me. I do not flirt, or act in any way that he would think he has a chance with me. True story from 2 hours ago. 
