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You need therapy to rewire the thought processes in your brain. When you witness things like you did when you were a kid, your brain wiring gets messed up and you choose people who will put you through the same type of trauma again.
I don';t have $$ relationship therapy that's why Im here
Ive seen it mentioned on here before and I've never understood this......
If a person has witnessed abuse first hand or has seen it whilst being brought up, then surely it's the best deterrent possible to Avoid that type and not the other way round?
Could someone please explain it ( in layman terms )
Thank you
There were broken glasses involved and my mum was crying. I was 5 and offered her tissues and she pushed me away. And they are still ok now. So i thought it was just a silly fight between a married couple. Then it happened again and my mum just cryed again. Then again. It wasn't serious abuse , never caused bruises or anything serious but my dad has serious anger issues. Friends of mine when i was little didn't want to come play at my place because my dad looked angry all the time.
There were broken glasses involved and my mum was crying. I was 5 and offered her tissues and she pushed me away. And they are still ok now. So i thought it was just a silly fight between a married couple. Then it happened again and my mum just cryed again. Then again. It wasn't serious abuse , never caused bruises or anything serious but my dad has serious anger issues. Friends of mine when i was little didn't want to come play at my place because my dad looked angry all the time.
I'm very sorry to hear that of course but surely that would deter you from abusive men?
Well I'm certainly not!, neither is just a guy or ro2113 and that's just on this thread alone.
In the real world there are billions of good blokes about, just that you haven't found one doesn't mean they don't exist .
No, never met them.
I also tend to avoid attractive men cos I don't think I am good enough for them, even though they hit on me before. Last boyfriend thought i was the hottest thing he's seen and treated me like a trophy gf. Didn't help. Tried saying "im ****ing hot" in front of people. Didn't help.
I'm very sorry to hear that of course but surely that would deter you from abusive men?
Well when I made that post about my ex abusing me and got 500 replies, I said "it's normal people hit on their wives tho, isn't it?" They were pissed and called me stupid.
So no it didn't deter me. It just made me think it was normal and accepted his abusive behaviour. Thought i could change him.
Ive seen it mentioned on here before and I've never understood this......
If a person has witnessed abuse first hand or has seen it whilst being brought up, then surely it's the best deterrent possible to Avoid that type and not the other way round?
Could someone please explain it ( in layman terms )
Thank you
If it was as EASY as that, there would be no cycle of poverty, no cycle of drug/alcohol abuse... It's so easy to fall in a black hole than to climb out of it.
It's always a very happy thing, almost a miracle, to hear people overcome such dire circumstances. And to overcome that and attain happiness and/or stability, one would need education, willingness to work hard, the emotional fortitude and maturity, the ability to honestly look at oneself and make changes, redefine for a new normal. That's already a tall order for many people.
How much do you weigh? I've noticed that the most scorn women happen to be overweight. Just my 2 cents.
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