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It's been a few days since I've been here. Went to church with my cousin and her family on Saturday. Early Saturday, I sent him a text sincerely apologizing for my actions. Later that day, he responded saying I've been thinking about you a lot. I was not expecting a response. A few days have passed and I haven't heard from him again. I sent a text today telling him I missed him and that I wanted to save our relationship. He hasn't responded and I don't think he will. I kind of feel like I set myself up for a slap in the face. I don't know what his reason for sending me that text was. I don't really understand why he'd say that and not continue a conversation with me. I'm feeling just as I did the first day of the break up. While I understand that my life goals do not coincide with his, I still want to be with this man.
I need to let this go. I need to be patient with myself and allow things to happen. I can not control this. What is happening is going to happen regardless, so I need to accept it as it comes. I don't think I'll hear from him again. He will most likely disregard my text and hope that I just go away. I feel that I've done all that I could do.
I wonder what's so special about this guy that you are so attracted to him. Based on what you wrote, there are better fish in the pond. And yes there are men in their mid to late thirties that have intentions of starting a family me being one of them. He's upset that he doesn't have a meal prepared on the table? Chilling on the patio drinking beer and smoking cigarettes.. Sounds like a real tool if you ask me. Surely you can do much better.
So why don't you put yourself out there and see what kind of men you can find? You said you were going to church. Maybe there are some men there that'd be a good fit.
Like others have stated, those hard feelings you get when you lose one you care about go away in time. It doesn't seem like it now, but it does. Been there done that. You will keep moving on.
Agree with the other posters that you probably am only opening the door to get slapped down again by this guy.
He needs to stop playing games and you need to stop allowing him to do it .. as it looks like to me from the information that's posted. If he's content being alone let him be alone. There are plenty of guys looking for companionship.
It's been a few days since I've been here. Went to church with my cousin and her family on Saturday. Early Saturday, I sent him a text sincerely apologizing for my actions. Later that day, he responded saying I've been thinking about you a lot. I was not expecting a response. A few days have passed and I haven't heard from him again. I sent a text today telling him I missed him and that I wanted to save our relationship. He hasn't responded and I don't think he will. I kind of feel like I set myself up for a slap in the face. I don't know what his reason for sending me that text was. I don't really understand why he'd say that and not continue a conversation with me. I'm feeling just as I did the first day of the break up. While I understand that my life goals do not coincide with his, I still want to be with this man.
I need to let this go. I need to be patient with myself and allow things to happen. I can not control this. What is happening is going to happen regardless, so I need to accept it as it comes. I don't think I'll hear from him again. He will most likely disregard my text and hope that I just go away. I feel that I've done all that I could do.
I don't understand you. What type of person willingly sacrifices their own life goals for a man who doesn't even want them? Why are you sabotaging yourself in this awful, destructive way?
I hope that you someday find a genuine, loving relationship with whom you can start a family together. Why would you throw that dream away? Especially on this selfish turd who obviously used you. Go after what your heart desires, this guy can't/won't give you what you want. He will never be able to make you happy. Can't you see that?
I agree. I need to change my routine. I've done enough thinking. I've already made sense of everything. I am comfortable with the reasons why our relationship failed. I understand my part in it and I know what Work I need to do for myself so that I don't repeat those same mistake. There are a lot of bad habits that I need to break and one of them is over worrying about things I can not control and negative thinking. I don't have any lingering questions as to what happened. I'd like to start going to church. That was something him and I talked about, but we never got around to doing it because I was distracting him with my constant drama. I will go this weekend with my cousin and her family. Then maybe I'll do some shopping. I do need to get out of the house. If not, I will be sitting here thinking about what he is doing and who he is with. It has only been 2 weeks, but it feels much, much longer than that. That is so unhealthy.
No, you haven not thought enough about your role in this, nor have you figured out what you need to do so that you don't repeat the same thing over again.
How can you say that when you admit that you would jump right back into a relationship with this guy in a heartbeat? That is not making any progress at all from my perspective.
You really should cut off all contact and seek some real help so that you can move forward and never find yourself in this situation again. You really can't afford not to. Good luck.
I don't understand why this attachment is so hard for me to break. Is there something wrong with me? Why am I thinking I can make this right? Im just in confusion right now. I don't even understand why he would respond saying he's been thinking of me a lot if he has no intention of having a conversation with me.
I need to make a strong commitment to moving forward from this point on. I got my hopes up when I got that text from him and then I fell flat on my face.
I don't understand why this attachment is so hard for me to break. Is there something wrong with me? Why am I thinking I can make this right? Im just in confusion right now. I don't even understand why he would respond saying he's been thinking of me a lot if he has no intention of having a conversation with me.
I need to make a strong commitment to moving forward from this point on. I got my hopes up when I got that text from him and then I fell flat on my face.
He's like a little boy who wants to have his cake and eat it too. It's a boost to his ego to know you'll still respond to his game-playing in spite of treating you like crap. You're the puppet, and you're letting him pull your strings.
You ask "Is there something wrong with me?" - what is wrong is that you don't respect yourself enough to believe you deserve better. This, in turn, attracts people who don't respect you either.
Speaking for myself, I wanted kids, until I was in a LTR with a single mom who had a 13 year old. Wow, that was eye opening. I also have 2 nephews and a niece that are in the 4-10 year old range. So I am pretty solid in the "no" category.
I don't even understand why he would respond saying he's been thinking of me a lot if he has no intention of having a conversation with me.
Because he probably HAS been thinking about you a lot. You were once there, now you're not. If he DIDN'T think about you some after breaking up, he would be a psychopath.
It doesn't mean he wants you back.
Yes, there is something that doesn't work quite right in your emotional toolbox that you need professional help to fix.
It's been a few days since I've been here. Went to church with my cousin and her family on Saturday. Early Saturday, I sent him a text sincerely apologizing for my actions. Later that day, he responded saying I've been thinking about you a lot. I was not expecting a response. A few days have passed and I haven't heard from him again. I sent a text today telling him I missed him and that I wanted to save our relationship. He hasn't responded and I don't think he will. I kind of feel like I set myself up for a slap in the face. I don't know what his reason for sending me that text was. I don't really understand why he'd say that and not continue a conversation with me. I'm feeling just as I did the first day of the break up. While I understand that my life goals do not coincide with his, I still want to be with this man.
I need to let this go. I need to be patient with myself and allow things to happen. I can not control this. What is happening is going to happen regardless, so I need to accept it as it comes. I don't think I'll hear from him again. He will most likely disregard my text and hope that I just go away. I feel that I've done all that I could do.
He still cares for you and loves you. He had to let you go because you have baby rabies and he was never able to convince himself to go there again. He doesn't contact you more because he knows the right thing to do is to let you go so you can eventually find a guy who is on the same page you are in regards to kids.
I don't understand why this attachment is so hard for me to break. Is there something wrong with me? Why am I thinking I can make this right? Im just in confusion right now. I don't even understand why he would respond saying he's been thinking of me a lot if he has no intention of having a conversation with me.
I need to make a strong commitment to moving forward from this point on. I got my hopes up when I got that text from him and then I fell flat on my face.
Because he made a hard decision and is doing his best to stick with it.
There is nothing to get your hopes up about. You want kids, he doesn't. This is very cut and dry. You are not compatible in your life needs.
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