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Basically long story short, there's a friend and I that had a very intimate relationship.
Throughout our friendship, we would constantly get comments from friends.
"Are you guys gay?"
"What the **** are you guys doing?"
"Wouldn't (me and him) make the best gay couple?" and he would respond with "OF COURSE they'd say that! Because (I'm) gay! HE'S GAY!!!!"
"ARE YOU GUYS GAY??? SERIOUSLY?"
etc. etc.
A few months before coming out to him, I texted him at about 1 am, saying "hey, I have to talk to you about something bad soon. We might be friends anymore"
He would bring it up multiple times, and ask me to talk about it, and I'd tell him to drop it.
One time he was alone with me and asked me about it again. He said "Are you mad at me?" I said no. He said "Am I mad at you?" and I said "no." And I told him "we're not mad at each other, but it's bad and we might not be friends anymore."
And then a month before I came out to him, I texted him at 1 am saying "hey, I don't care how gay this sounds, but I just wanted to say that I love you, you're an amazing friend and an amazing person and I just wanted to say thank you so much for dealing with me, I know I can be difficult" (because I would ignore him a lot and he would try to get my attention back)
And he would even constantly ask me "Are you gay?"
Another time, he took a Magic 8 Ball and asked it questions such as "Will (I) ever have sex?" "Will (I) ever stop staring at (him)?" "(Am I) gay?"
And he would do stuff like take a controller and use it as a lie detector and ask "(my name), are you gay?" and I would hesitate and say "no..." and he said "OHHH it says it's a lie!!!"
And then another time he even asked me stuff like "(my name), what would you do if I was gay and in the closet and I came out to you?"
And other times, when we were alone, and around random people, he would get uncomfortable and say "do people think we're gay? Yeah... probably..." or stuff like "why are we sitting like this? People are gonna think we're dating"
And a few weeks before I came out to him, he outright asked me "(my name), why do you have a crush on me? Like why?"
And basically, whenever I came out to him (over text, stupidly), he told me that it was a joke, that he had no idea, and that it being gay "never crossed (his) mind at all."
Is it possible at all that that's the truth? And I'm just crazy?
It seems like you're relationship is pretty complicated, and even more complicated from other people giving their feedback on your relationship. I'd say ignore those other people if they're being hurtful.
Whether they're lying or no, I think you and your friend need to sit down and talk things out. How do you each really feel for each other? Where would you both feel comfortable with where the relationship will go?
It seems like y'all care about one another, so focus on your feelings, and see what happens.
I think your friend is VERY confused about his sexuality. You didn't help him any by delaying coming out and jerking him around with your constant delay in telling him.
You called him up to tell him you needed to talk to him about something important, then just didn't get around to it? He asked you directly and you refused to answer. That was cruel.
People who are confused about their feelings change their behavior and give you conflicting info. That just happens. You were giving him conflicting info. He gives you conflicting info. Just stop.
If I were you, I would apologize for all the drama, tell him where you stand, tell him the ball is in his court right now. Then give him space to decide how to deal.
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