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Just because she keeps texting you doesn't mean you need to answer her. You told her you wanted space and you were clear about that. Stop answering, or else answer only every so often, I don't know, every few days or whatever, and with very short, very generic texts that leave NO lead-in for more conversation. But my recommendation would be to simply not answer. No need to block or anything dramatic, just stop feeding her need for attention and she'll look elsewhere for it.
She didn't do anything wrong in not wanting to be more than friends but she DOES know you're trying to get over feelings for her and it is wrong in light of that for her to keep pestering you with texts all the time. She knows what affect that has and don't think she doesn't. Not in an evil or wanting to hurt you sort of way but more for an "I really love how much this guy is into me, it makes me feel wanted" sort of way. But it's hurting you. So stop answering, you've already been clear enough.
BTW...I disagree that this girl could be an actual friend. If she can't even respect that you're hurt and can't respect boundaries, and if she feels her desire to feel soooooooo cute and wanted trumps you being in pain, then she's already not being a friend. Who wants a friend like that? I mean really.
She is probably feeling very hurt and betrayed right now. She believed you were her true friend, only to find out now that you were using a pretext of friendship to con your way into her pants. Sure rejection stings, but you know what hurts more? Finding out that someone you thought was a dear friend was actually just manipulating you all along.
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If you were ever a true friend to her, then you wouldn't have any problem carrying on your friendship as you had always done. This is nothing but punishing her for not giving into your long con.
Eventually she will realize that the friendship was a lie. Until then, block her number.
If she was a true friend, she would back off and give him time. If it's a friendship worth having, it would pick up almost back to where it was despite the absence.
I was the girl who had to give a very gentle rejection to a very good (guy) friend. I did try to continue on like nothing happened, but saw that it was a bit painful for him. So I just let it go. It was 9 months before I saw him again, he then had a gf. But I think it was almost 2 years later that it was all okay and back to normal. I was very happy to have my friend back and ultimately that's what he needed.
Just because she keeps texting you doesn't mean you need to answer her. You told her you wanted space and you were clear about that. Stop answering, or else answer only every so often, I don't know, every few days or whatever, and with very short, very generic texts that leave NO lead-in for more conversation. But my recommendation would be to simply not answer. No need to block or anything dramatic, just stop feeding her need for attention and she'll look elsewhere for it.
She didn't do anything wrong in not wanting to be more than friends but she DOES know you're trying to get over feelings for her and it is wrong in light of that for her to keep pestering you with texts all the time. She knows what affect that has and don't think she doesn't. Not in an evil or wanting to hurt you sort of way but more for an "I really love how much this guy is into me, it makes me feel wanted" sort of way. But it's hurting you. So stop answering, you've already been clear enough.
BTW...I disagree that this girl could be an actual friend. If she can't even respect that you're hurt and can't respect boundaries, and if she feels her desire to feel soooooooo cute and wanted trumps you being in pain, then she's already not being a friend. Who wants a friend like that? I mean really.
Thank you for this message. I agree that she likes the attention but but in an evil way. I did not say I don't want to be friends anymore. Just that I need time to move on and is difficult if she is always in my head
But your friendship CAN be. People text and share meals with their friends. It's just the physical aspect that you can't have.
You are absolutely allowed to end or scale back the friendship. But to do so is to admit that it was all a fraud. You are either friends, who do the same friend things you always did. Or you were never friends and you were simply using pseudo-friendship as a fraud to worm your way into her bed. Your statement about not putting the same energy in now that you know it "cannot be" makes it obvious which situation this is.
Or option 3, he fell for a friend of his. I don't see why you have to jump to the conclusion that he is a fraud or worm. Attraction can grow over time, and it can be very difficult to be around someone who doesn't return your feelings.
Maybe she just enjoys your company? Her feelings haven't changed, and your relationship hasn't changed. All that changed is that you asked to change it and she said no. So why should she change the way she behaves toward you?
If you don't want to spend time with her, THAT'S FOR YOU TO DO. Stop expecting her to read your mind and tiptoe around you. Just stop being so available.
The bolded there sums it up. Stop answering every time. If she asks why, you were busy with something else. She'll get it after a while. I think she's being an azzhat. If shes not interested then its reasonable that you would want more of your time away from her to meet someone else and be a normal adult. Having daily contact lunches and dinners with her will be in the way if you ever do meet someone else and truthfully if you kept doing that knowing she isn't interested it makes you look pathetic. Shes selfish. Is she really your friend or is the relationship only about her?
As long as you keep answering her, she is in control. Take your balls back, and stop answering her. When she texts, dont answer. Get busy doing something else. You cant get her out of your head as long as she's in your head, and everytime you talk or text or see her,she's still there.
I told a friend of mine that i should not see her while I get over my feelings for her. We see each other on an almost daily basis wheather it be meeting for lunch or dinner or drinks etc. She just wants to be friends and I said I was OK with that but that I would need space so I can get over it and move on.
She said she was OK with that and understood. But then she goes back messaging me as frequently as she did before, which was a lot. Do I have to make myself more clear that I also should not be talking to her daily?
Being friends is just not feasible if you want to heal, and you know that, yet you allow her to keep contacting you.
You're the one putting yourself in this situation, not her.
You know exactly what to do, you just cant do it. Why?
It is very hard to break contact from someone who makes you feel very happy. But I am trying now. It is a bit painful but I know it is for the best
You don't seem very happy right now.
The longer you keep this up, the longer its take to heal.
Sorry man, but just stop it already and begin to move on. Maybe, in a couple years from now, you can consider being just friends (even that is highly doubtful)
The longer you keep this up, the longer its take to heal.
Sorry man, but just stop it already and begin to move on. Maybe, in a couple years from now, you can consider being just friends (even that is highly doubtful)
Why you say highly doubtful?
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