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Old 03-24-2016, 04:36 PM
 
1,212 posts, read 1,738,835 times
Reputation: 1135

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http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2...ies-below&_r=0

1. Did your family throw plates, calmly discuss issues or silently shut down when disagreements arose?

2. Will we have children, and if we do, will you change diapers?

3. Will our experiences with our exes help or hinder us?

4. How important is religion? How will we celebrate religious holidays, if at all?

5. Is my debt your debt? Would you be willing to bail me out?

6. What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a car, a couch, shoes?

7. Can you deal with my doing things without you?

8. Do we like each other’s parents?

9. How important is sex to you?

10. How far should we take flirting with other people? Is watching pornography O.K.?

11. Do you know all the ways I say “I love you”?

12. What do you admire about me, and what are your pet peeves?

13. How do you see us 10 years from now?


Some really good questions I never even thought of. I mostly thought of stuff along the topic of #5 and 6, and we've communicated about #2, 5,6, 7, and #10.

#3,4,8,9 and 13 aren't an issue for us at this time (that can always change I guess).

It's #1, 11, and 12 that we can communicate more on, though I wonder if I should show him this list to see what he thinks are issues and what aren't.
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Old 03-24-2016, 04:42 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,111,957 times
Reputation: 8048
Shoot, I can't imagine not knowing a lot of these things at the early stages of dating, let alone right before getting married.

Someone actually got paid to write this?
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Old 03-24-2016, 04:58 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston
33,486 posts, read 51,588,002 times
Reputation: 82773
Right! ^^^ But many people just want to get married, no matter what, and for many very odd reasons. They don't care to know answers to any of the above questions. Maybe except #9 ...
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Old 03-24-2016, 05:31 PM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
22,952 posts, read 31,864,835 times
Reputation: 30230
Quote:
Originally Posted by arrieros81 View Post
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2...ies-below&_r=0

1. Did your family throw plates, calmly discuss issues or silently shut down when disagreements arose?

2. Will we have children, and if we do, will you change diapers?

3. Will our experiences with our exes help or hinder us?

4. How important is religion? How will we celebrate religious holidays, if at all?

5. Is my debt your debt? Would you be willing to bail me out?

6. What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a car, a couch, shoes?

7. Can you deal with my doing things without you?

8. Do we like each other’s parents?

9. How important is sex to you?

10. How far should we take flirting with other people? Is watching pornography O.K.?

11. Do you know all the ways I say “I love you”?

12. What do you admire about me, and what are your pet peeves?

13. How do you see us 10 years from now?


Some really good questions I never even thought of. I mostly thought of stuff along the topic of #5 and 6, and we've communicated about #2, 5,6, 7, and #10.

#3,4,8,9 and 13 aren't an issue for us at this time (that can always change I guess).

It's #1, 11, and 12 that we can communicate more on, though I wonder if I should show him this list to see what he thinks are issues and what aren't.
I know no one cares but here is how Diss would answer these. I'm not getting married to anyone but I'll play just for fun.

1. I grew up in a military family in the hood. Every disagreement was solved by screaming at the top of our lungs at each other. Getting yelled at on a daily basis is nothing new to me.

2. Absolutely NO children. If this ain't something you agree with, there is the door, use it.

3. I have no exes. That itself may hinder me.

4. I'm an atheist, religion does not mean to me. I'll go along with you to church for Easter and Christmas to support but don't expect me to take prayer seriously because I don't think you are talking to anyone.

5. Your debt is your debt and my debt is my debt. If you did something stupid to get locked up, you are on your own for bail.

6. $22.5k for a car. $400 for a couch. $75 for shoes.

7. As long as you are cool with me hanging with my crew, do whatever you want.

8. I'm good if you don't like my mother. I can't stand her half the time anyway.

9. SUPER important. I will not stay in a sexless marriage for very long.

10. If you would not do it with me watching, don't do it. Porn is ok. Not my thing, but whatever.

11. God, how many ways to say I love you? I hate mushy , I talk plain 24/7.

12. IDK. Pet peeves, being interrupted and disrespected.

13. Ain't no one worried about ten years from now, the rent is due on the 1st let's worry about that.

Okay CD, commence with calling me a sociopath.
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Old 03-24-2016, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
16,803 posts, read 51,151,571 times
Reputation: 27531
Just wondering how a Klingon would answer...
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Old 03-25-2016, 02:19 AM
 
1,212 posts, read 1,738,835 times
Reputation: 1135
I wasn't even thinking of the 'before getting married' part, more like 13 questions to ask to figure out if you're compatible with the other person...

Don't people in relationships talk about this all the time?
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Old 03-25-2016, 02:47 AM
 
1,212 posts, read 1,738,835 times
Reputation: 1135
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
I know no one cares but here is how Diss would answer these. I'm not getting married to anyone but I'll play just for fun.

1. I grew up in a military family in the hood. Every disagreement was solved by screaming at the top of our lungs at each other. Getting yelled at on a daily basis is nothing new to me.

2. Absolutely NO children. If this ain't something you agree with, there is the door, use it.

3. I have no exes. That itself may hinder me.

4. I'm an atheist, religion does not mean to me. I'll go along with you to church for Easter and Christmas to support but don't expect me to take prayer seriously because I don't think you are talking to anyone.

5. Your debt is your debt and my debt is my debt. If you did something stupid to get locked up, you are on your own for bail.

6. $22.5k for a car. $400 for a couch. $75 for shoes.

7. As long as you are cool with me hanging with my crew, do whatever you want.

8. I'm good if you don't like my mother. I can't stand her half the time anyway.

9. SUPER important. I will not stay in a sexless marriage for very long.

10. If you would not do it with me watching, don't do it. Porn is ok. Not my thing, but whatever.

11. God, how many ways to say I love you? I hate mushy , I talk plain 24/7.

12. IDK. Pet peeves, being interrupted and disrespected.

13. Ain't no one worried about ten years from now, the rent is due on the 1st let's worry about that.

Okay CD, commence with calling me a sociopath.
hee hee, you could give that list to any potential date... would save a lot of time.

Someone on the comments section of that article said another question would be 'what gets you in a bad mood, and what do you have to do to get out of it?' I think that's another great one.
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Old 03-25-2016, 05:54 AM
 
Location: NY
8,983 posts, read 14,143,066 times
Reputation: 11315
They seem to be solid questions to test how compatible in terms of finances, family planning, sexual and relationship expectations, faith, etc. All good areas to explore and know about each other in advance of marriage.
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Old 03-25-2016, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
29,676 posts, read 47,382,203 times
Reputation: 17468
#1. After 35 years of marriage, I still do not know how my wife's family would have handled disagreements.


#3. Any answer is a guess.
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