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I've known this girl at my school for a little over a year, and I was immediately attracted to her upon first meeting her. However, at that time, she had a boyfriend (who I met the same day as her and was very cool and half my ethnicity).
Funny thing is, around that same time, we ended up having one class together. We had some deep and great conversations, but I never went further than that cause I respected the relationship she was in. After the class and semester was over last May, we would see each other here and there on rare occasions.
She made a Facebook status about seeing a movie premiere yesterday, and I commented on it. Asked her how her semester was going afterwards after a bit back and forth talk about it. She then sends me a text message this morning saying that she saw my FB comment asking how her semester was going, and that it was fine, but that she and her boyfriend actually broke up (which must have been recent since they were together not just but a month ago). She then asked how I was and that if I need a lunch buddy, to hit her up. Made plans for lunch this upcoming Tuesday.
Question is, how can I transition from an acquaintance to a possible relationship with her? Not that I'll force it, and that whatever happens, happens. But this is a rare situation for me, and definitely want to be more than friends with her.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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I think a lot of ladies here on CD say they leave guys in the "friend zone" because they never make their intentions clear. I would plan on paying for the date and try to swing yall's conversation toward dating matters. Be intentional and make sure she leaves with the idea you have romantic interest in her.
1. She may have already placed you in the dreaded "friendship zone" that so many guys hate and complain about.
2. Unless her boyfriend abused her or perhaps cheated on her (and hence,is now a completely unforgivable scum of the earth douche), she is likely (yes, I can say this without knowing her) not over him, given that their breakup, per your report, was recent. She likely isn't ready for a new romantic relationship. If she is, you will likely be the rebound guy.
Either way, proceed with caution.
Last edited by erjunkee; 03-26-2016 at 04:32 PM..
Reason: fix spelling error
I think a lot of ladies here on CD say they leave guys in the "friend zone" because they never make their intentions clear. I would plan on paying for the date and try to swing yall's conversation toward dating matters. Be intentional and make sure she leaves with the idea you have romantic interest in her.
I plan to pay, and if she resists (which she likely definitely will), I'll tell her that I got it this time, and that she can get it the next time we go out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by erjunkee
Op, caveat:
1. She may have already placed you in the dreaded "friendship zone" that so many guys hate and complain about.
2. Unless her boyfriend abused her or perhaps cheated on her (and hence,is now a completely unforgivable scum of the earth douche), she is likely (yes, I can say this without knowing her) not over him, give that their breakup per your report was recent. She likely isn't ready for a new romantic relationship. If she is, you will likely be the rebound guy.
Either way, proceed with caution.
They're still friends on social media from what she said, so it doesn't seem like any abuse or cheating took place. And yes, I definitely thought about the fact that she may not be over him (and/or him over her).
All you have to do is ask her out when the lunch is over. Just say, "This was really fun. Are you free this weekend? Do you wanna go do _______________ ?"
Whatever is fun to do where you live, or a restaurant meal.
Ask her out on a proper date, and treat her like a date, not like a dude.
Yeah, she isn't over her ex by a long shot, lol. Most of the discussion today was basically revolving around her ex. She definitely still cares about him, but not sure if he feels the same about her. I definitely think they'll end up getting back together.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356
UPDATE:
Yeah, she isn't over her ex by a long shot, lol. Most of the discussion today was basically revolving around her ex. She definitely still cares about him, but not sure if he feels the same about her. I definitely think they'll end up getting back together.
Yeah, she isn't over her ex by a long shot, lol. Most of the discussion today was basically revolving around her ex. She definitely still cares about him, but not sure if he feels the same about her. I definitely think they'll end up getting back together.
Sorry to hear that mate
Obviously only time will tell but I think you are right, she still holds a torch for him so it doesn't bode well for you .
1. She may have already placed you in the dreaded "friendship zone" that so many guys hate and complain about.
2. Unless her boyfriend abused her or perhaps cheated on her (and hence,is now a completely unforgivable scum of the earth douche), she is likely (yes, I can say this without knowing her) not over him, given that their breakup, per your report, was recent. She likely isn't ready for a new romantic relationship. If she is, you will likely be the rebound guy.
Either way, proceed with caution.
Precisely this. Be careful, she's likely not over the ex and the lunch proposition could be a ploy to be seen by him (the jealousy game). Personally I'd not even bother with her romantically--she sounds like a good friend, which is where I'd keep her. Any romantic overtures should be made by her, which would then be a testament to their sincerity (to a degree).
Otherwise, yeah, you're most likely Mr. Rebound/Let's Make The Ex Jealous guy.
EDIT: Just read the rest of the thread...so it seems me and a couple others were right. Don't be the guy who sits and listens to a woman discuss another guy. Jesus Christ, don't waste your time like that around all those other potential dates.
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