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A lot of people seem to be taking "wiles" as looks...big boobs or whatever.
I have always taken "wiles" to mean how someone acts, not how she looks. Looks are attributes, not wiles, and any person can be lovely looking and even sexy looking but non-manipulative.
Wiles I feel are more along the lines of, say, leaning over and laughingly making semi-suggestive comments, wearing certain types of clothing and swinging hips, "accidentally" dropping something and bending to pick it up (like the girl in Legally Blonde, LOL), acting helpless and needing "help" while batting eyes, whoooooops "accidentally" showing up where the guy is wearing a killer outfit and oh my! - didn't expect to run into YOU here, fancy that! -etc., etc.
A lot of people seem to be taking "wiles" as looks...big boobs or whatever.
I have always taken "wiles" to mean how someone acts, not how she looks. Looks are attributes, not wiles, and any person can be lovely looking and even sexy looking but non-manipulative.
Wiles I feel are more along the lines of, say, leaning over and laughingly making semi-suggestive comments, wearing certain types of clothing and swinging hips, "accidentally" dropping something and bending to pick it up (like the girl in Legally Blonde, LOL), acting helpless and needing "help" while batting eyes, whoooooops "accidentally" showing up where the guy is wearing a killer outfit and oh my! - didn't expect to run into YOU here, fancy that! -etc., etc.
No, there doesn't have to be a sexual element to it at all. If I need to talk to someone in customer service to waive a fee, escalate an issue, or whatever, the benign, pleasant, gosh-I-hope-you-can-help persona gets better results than the pissed-off ballbuster. That is a feminine thing, but not a sexual one. An earnest, mild-mannered man is less likely to get help than his female equivalent.
Have you ever seen a woman bat her eyes? It sounds positively cartoonish.
No, there doesn't have to be a sexual element to it at all. If I need to talk to someone in customer service to waive a fee, escalate an issue, or whatever, the benign, pleasant, gosh-I-hope-you-can-help persona gets better results than the pissed-off ballbuster. That is a feminine thing, but not a sexual one. An earnest, mild-mannered man is less likely to get help than his female equivalent.
Have you ever seen a woman bat her eyes? It sounds positively cartoonish.
Oh.
Obviously, I have no idea what it is, much less how to do it.
Sorry, fellas, you'll have to look elsewhere for all your feminine wiles needs, LOL
But anyway, what you're describing is still action, not looks, so...there ya go.
I don't see anything wrong with it. Unless the woman is simply using people - then that's not so nice. But a nice smile and some mild flirtation to get better service, to attract a man, to get out of a ticket, etc. - who is it hurting?
I don't see anything wrong with it. Unless the woman is simply using people - then that's not so nice. But a nice smile and some mild flirtation to get better service, to attract a man, to get out of a ticket, etc. - who is it hurting?
it is more of a "ethics and morals" issue for most who will find annoyance with it.
It is an attempt at Manipulation any way you slice it, whether or not the recepiant is accepting of it, it requires a personal attempt to begin with.
which, implies you are ok with purposfully manipulating others to get what you want/need/desire.
You're either ok treating people like this or you're not, but the underliner of all of this is most human interaction involves manipulation of some kind as most human interaction in based in self and for self.
their are degrees at play here and a larger ethics question looming above all. How you choose to define it will determine your readiness to accept it.
Last edited by rego00123; 03-31-2016 at 12:55 PM..
I don't see anything wrong with it. Unless the woman is simply using people - then that's not so nice. But a nice smile and some mild flirtation to get better service, to attract a man, to get out of a ticket, etc. - who is it hurting?
I tend to believe that life is a bit of a challenge, and anything that makes that challenge a bit easier seems OK to me. In your example, dating is different because no one can claim a "right" to date at all, much less a particular person. I do think people have, if not a right, then a very understandable expectation that things like service, grace from public servants, etc, be doled out evenly. When one person gets a disproportionate share of service or grace or whatever, they may be getting someone else's share. One person's good service takes the server's time away from someone else. Another person's sliding on a ticket leaves the cop's quota one short, so some one else will get that ticket. And so on.
That's all relatively minor and falls short of a moral or ethical question in my opinion, but nothing's free. In small ways "charming" people just shift the cost away from themselves. And yes, in each case someone's the willing fool facilitating this.
I tend to believe that life is a bit of a challenge, and anything that makes that challenge a bit easier seems OK to me. In your example, dating is different because no one can claim a "right" to date at all, much less a particular person. I do think people have, if not a right, then a very understandable expectation that things like service, grace from public servants, etc, be doled out evenly. When one person gets a disproportionate share of service or grace or whatever, they may be getting someone else's share. One person's good service takes the server's time away from someone else. Another person's sliding on a ticket leaves the cop's quota one short, so some one else will get that ticket. And so on.
That's all relatively minor and falls short of a moral or ethical question in my opinion, but nothing's free. In small ways "charming" people just shift the cost away from themselves. And yes, in each case someone's the willing fool facilitating this.
I don't think that that service or grace from public servants is ever doled out evenly. Most people enjoy interactions with pleasant people more than with unpleasant people. I'm not saying that anyone who isn't charming is unpleasant but if everyone were more pleasant - I think everyone would be happier. And I'll say this - I don't think that responding to someone's charms makes them a fool. It makes them a fool if they believe that the charming woman at the restaurant is going to become their wife - but they aren't a fool for simply enjoying a pleasant customer and giving her better service. Oh - and I'm also a good tipper!
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