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Men stereotypically don't make lists of what they want in a woman (they just want "physically attractive," receptive, and "not insane"). But I can't be the only one who has made mental or written lists. Please describe yours, including how they have changed over time and whether they've helped you.
01-31-2014, 12:04 AM
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Originally Posted by goodheathen
Men stereotypically don't make lists of what they want in a woman (they just want "physically attractive," receptive, and "not insane"). But I can't be the only one who has made mental or written lists. Please describe yours, including how they have changed over time and whether they've helped you.
1. Good mothering instincts. (Recently being reconsidered...).
2. Good in the kitchen. (This is uncompromising.)
3. An academic/intellectual. (Not so much anymore..)
4. A go-getter.
5. College educated.
6. Intelligent.
7. Cultured...isn't just another American girl. International perspective.
8. Religiously tolerant.
9. Moral...actively tries to be a good person.
10. And yes, smoking hot.
The problem with lists is that people grow and change...I don't want to limit her based on my preferences. These days it's just about chemistry and spark. If there's something about her, then I'm interested. If not, on to the next.
I don't do lists, I don't even really know what I want - I'd like to meet people and see where it goes! I think lists are disgusting, makes you look like a bitter jackass, goes for both genders.
What do I prefer? Somebody active, fun and open minded. I must admit that I've dated a few religious opinionated women that I didn't think I'd get along with, turns out I really enjoyed their company. I'm pretty carefree when it comes to stuff like that; but if they took issue with me being agonistic/atheist I'd just set the ball in their court. None of that **** matters to me.
Men stereotypically don't make lists of what they want in a woman (they just want "physically attractive," receptive, and "not insane"). But I can't be the only one who has made mental or written lists. Please describe yours, including how they have changed over time and whether they've helped you.
i use to have a list of three requirements
she was good hearted
she could cook
i could dead-lift her
thru the years, ive had to scale back, the expectations were too high
Not ugly (at least a 6.5+ on 1-10 scale)
Not obese (thick is ok, not fat)
Can cook things from scratch
Good with kids
Christian
Still likes to go out for the night or evening
College educated or at least in college
Good to excellent credit score
Can "get" my sense of humor
Grammatically aware
White or Latina
Men stereotypically don't make lists of what they want in a woman (they just want "physically attractive," receptive, and "not insane"). But I can't be the only one who has made mental or written lists. Please describe yours, including how they have changed over time and whether they've helped you.
Yeah, I'm on board with what you say here:
1. She's gotta be physically attractive to me, at least a 6 out of 10 on the scale. I could write a whole book on what I find to be "attractive", which happily differs me from most of my buddies. I feel good knowing that we won't be chasing the same women.
2. Receptive and friendly is a must. I was in line to get a water at church, behind a girl I've seen around for two years, and I say "hey, how are you doing"? She looks at me like I'm a slug or freak and quickly walks away. No, thanks. I still know nothing about her except her name. And hell no, I would never date her. She's one of the only 20-something single women in that place, and I hear her constantly complain about being single. (Every other woman in their 20's, with only one or two other exceptions, is already married.) Hullo, lighten up, and your prospects might change...
3. Not insane. 'Nuff said.
In addition to what you list, here's my requirements (in no particular order):
1. Must be on the same theological page. I'm Christian, and I'm not dating a non-Christian.
2. Must not be over 26. I don't do cougars, MILF's, mature, or anything like that.
3a. Must not have kids from previous relationship. No baby daddy drama for me.
3b. Must not otherwise be damaged goods or have unsorted drama. See above.
4. Must not be a prude. (Sometimes that's at odds with #1.)
5. Must not be introverted. My dating history with highly introverted people is nothing short of disastrous.
These are off the top of my head, at any rate - they're not written down, but they *are* floating around in my head when I consider dating someone.
An interesting question, though as others suggest (Posts #2 and #3) not sure what you're going to receive as counsel, other than disjointed personal opinions. From that I'd hesitate to draw too many conclusions: biased sample, to say the least.
Thinking on it, the most valid answers are buried in the data the big dating sites must collect: POF, OKC, M, eH come to mind. (I do roughly similar analysis for a living, though with other kinds of data sets.) They must have vast amounts of data on male and female preferences, which is their IP (intellectual property) and probably a closely-guarded secret. That is truly too bad for most of us. If, however, that data is available to mine, someone tell me where and I'll download for analysis.
Statistical analysis is your friend here, let's think more on it: the more ways to slice-n-dice the data, the better answers tailored to your specifics. Sample questions that could be used to mine dating site data, least to most-detailed:
"What quals do men prefer in women" --100,000 foot level.
"...American men.
"...living in the PacNW
"...who are White
"...who have college education
"...who have kids
"...jobs
"...cars
(etc.)
Multiple regression analysis, basically.
See where I'm going? Definitely useful, and like most data mostly-meaningless until 1) big enough sample size that is representative of the population who dates 2) can be narrowed down enough to fit the desired demographic (your preferences).
(Chuckle): if I were running the "free" sites, I'd require new users to fill out maybe fifty questions about some of the above. And give a credit card number and non-spurious email, for various upsells/options. And to weed out the nuts and losers living with mom in the basement. Of course, that would probably reduce the data set (users) by 50-75%, so depends on the revenue model they're trying to capture and quality of data needed! Ain't marketing interesting?
1. Good mothering instincts. (Recently being reconsidered...).
2. Good in the kitchen. (This is uncompromising.)
3. An academic/intellectual. (Not so much anymore..)
4. A go-getter.
5. College educated.
6. Intelligent.
7. Cultured...isn't just another American girl. International perspective.
8. Religiously tolerant.
9. Moral...actively tries to be a good person.
10. And yes, smoking hot.
The problem with lists is that people grow and change...I don't want to limit her based on my preferences. These days it's just about chemistry and spark. If there's something about her, then I'm interested. If not, on to the next.
Why did #3 change? That is pretty fundamental for chemistry for me, at least the intellectual connection. That is one area I will never sacrifice, and #'s 5, 6 and 7.
My list is quite long.
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