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For the record I do make decent money with my construction job and have plans to move up (have twice already) and we can pay the bills that are necessary and even some others such as Netflix etc. and stuff for the kids but after all of that there isn't that much left. Her having an income has helped a lot though. I am college educated while she isn't.
She can get quite agitated though and several times when she's been called in she yells and cusses about it and gets very bothered by it so I am not to surprised. The thing is whenever she starts a job she does well for awhile, say 5 or 6 months but increasingly starts to hate it and ends up just not caring and messing up at work, getting to work late etc. and ends up taking out her frustrations on others. I try to be supportive but I don't know how supportive I can be in this kind of situation.
As for the kids my parents watch them most of the time so no real need for daycare.
She can get quite agitated though and several times when she's been called in she yells and cusses about it and gets very bothered by it so I am not to surprised. The thing is whenever she starts a job she does well for awhile, say 5 or 6 months but increasingly starts to hate it and ends up just not caring and messing up at work, getting to work late etc. and ends up taking out her frustrations on others. I try to be supportive but I don't know how supportive I can be in this kind of situation.
Are you my twin? This is pretty much the same thing I dealt with for years with my wife. She could never hold down a job, even a simple retail job.
I knew it was her because I held down the same grocery store job for 3 years while I was in college.
I knew I would never be happy because of the financial instability. Sure, I have to pay for everything on my own now, but I also don't have to worry about anyone else's financial issues.
For the record I do make decent money with my construction job and have plans to move up (have twice already) and we can pay the bills that are necessary and even some others such as Netflix etc. and stuff for the kids but after all of that there isn't that much left. Her having an income has helped a lot though. I am college educated while she isn't.
She can get quite agitated though and several times when she's been called in she yells and cusses about it and gets very bothered by it so I am not to surprised. The thing is whenever she starts a job she does well for awhile, say 5 or 6 months but increasingly starts to hate it and ends up just not caring and messing up at work, getting to work late etc. and ends up taking out her frustrations on others. I try to be supportive but I don't know how supportive I can be in this kind of situation.
As for the kids my parents watch them most of the time so no real need for daycare.
This screams "ISSUES"! How long did you know her before marriage? Did you observe this when you were dating her? The only way to fix this is through serious counseling for her. Another option might be for her to go to community college and get some office-tech training, so she could get a different type of job. There would still be personalities to deal with at work, but the chances are a bit better that the boss/supervisor and other office workers wouldn't be problematic, especially in a smaller office, and the hours would be regular.
I saw a comment earlier in the thread about her subtly indicating she wants to be a stay at home parent. I have to agree. I think she's waiting for you to say "Honey, we make good money. You don't need to work". Her work ethic(or lack there of) isn't going to change. The issue is whether or not you can be married to someone who is going to completely exit the workforce at the first chance. Plus you have kids. Your wife is not setting a good example.
Do you want to throw your marriage away over that? Let her stay home for a while and see what happens. If you guys still don't get along, then find another way or no way.
Tell her that staying home comes with making you dinner, breakfast and house chores.
Getting a divorce over a low paid job isn't worth damaging the children with a divorce.
Do you want to throw your marriage away over that? Let her stay home for a while and see what happens. If you guys still don't get along, then find another way or no way.
Tell her that staying home comes with making you dinner, breakfast and house chores.
Getting a divorce over a low paid job isn't worth damaging the children with a divorce.
The children are already being damaged by the poor example being set. The parents are responsible for providing for their kids. The husband isn't responsible or obligated to provide for his wife. What happens if God forbid he gets hurt at work or has a tragic accident and can no longer work? She doesn't have the skills to make a decent living. That's a problem.
It sounds like you married a "princess" who thinks work is beneath her and something that is done by other people, such as husbands. She simply wants you to make enough money so she can live a life of leisure like the women on those Real Housewife TV shows and spend her days shopping, gossiping, and hanging out with her girlfriends, like Kim Kardashian. (Kim Kardashian, however, earns millions $$$ just being Kim Kardashian, so she actually has a job.)
When baby #3 comes along, she'll have a good case for the "it's cheaper if I stay home" argument. Trouble is, she might not really want to stay home and do actual child care, because it's hard, dirty, and stressful, and not something that's as easy to quit as a job. She'll then be pleading for a maid, cook, and a nanny.
She may or may not have "Golden Uterus Complex", but OP's situation is not that uncommon.
Last edited by corgifreak; 03-28-2016 at 02:52 PM..
The children are already being damaged by the poor example being set. The parents are responsible for providing for their kids. The husband isn't responsible or obligated to provide for his wife. What happens if God forbid he gets hurt at work or has a tragic accident and can no longer work? She doesn't have the skills to make a decent living. That's a problem.
Yes, she doesn't have the skills. So why try to talk her into something she obviously cannot do? Retail jobs can suck and she obviously isn't able to keep any job for very long.
Back in the day, women didn't work and somehow they made ends meet. I am not saying this was good, I am just saying in THIS particular case I think ending a marriage over a lousy job isn't worth it.
To me if she is not mature enough to handle a retail job she is not qualified to run a house.
She should be able to tolerate any job for a year without losing her mind and temper. It's a part of being an adult.
I would say after that, if she wanted to stay home for a few years then fine. IF that works for YOU too.
You never answered if she was like this while dating and how long did you date?
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Yes, she doesn't have the skills. So why try to talk her into something she obviously cannot do? Retail jobs can suck and she obviously isn't able to keep any job for very long.
Back in the day, women didn't work and somehow they made ends meet. I am not saying this was good, I am just saying in THIS particular case I think ending a marriage over a lousy job isn't worth it.
2 incomes are needed and have been thanks to Reagan's trickle down economics, but that's for another discussion. It is not the man's job to provide for a woman who refuses to hold down a job. He shouldn't have married her in the first place, but obviously too late. It was easy to make ends meet 60 years ago when you could live off a janitor's salary and retire with a pension at 55. Women need to work in today's society. 1 income isn't enough.
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