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From my point of few I always interpret flaking as low to no interest. I think a person who is flakey with me will still make effort with someone they're genuinely interested in?
Having said that, the guy in the reference to my OP ,who bailed on me twice, texted me 4 days later like nothing had happened No apology or anything-Just started up a text conversation Needlessly to say, I ignored it. Unfortunately I can't block numbers on my phone
Meh, well, no need to block, he'll most likely figure it out based on your ignoring him. I wouldn't feel compelled to make the effort, personaly, it's a simple matter of not answering and letting him wander off. He will.
Better luck next time - there are good guys out there! Hold out for one of those, he will he worth it.
And at the end of the day, it can't be quantified. I wonder why one gender needs to feel like they have it worse when it comes to so many things, including being flaked on.
That and the fact that thread wasn't even about "what sex flakes more?" Until somebody hijacked it with that narrative. Why every question people have about behavior had to get turned into a battle of the sexes is beyond me. Pretty sure no one sex has the market cornered on inconsiderate behavior.
Do you want 100% honesty even if it's uncomfortable?
IMO, one of three things whether it is a woman OR a man:
1. The individual has an irresponsible style in general.
2. The individual found something better to do.
3. The individual simply isn't attracted to you, but you keep asking/pushing/begging/saying: "But why not?" or refusing to take a hint ("Oh, you're not available Friday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday? Or Tuesday? And after that your dog might be sick? Hey, how about we plan for next Thursday then?") And he or she finally feels pushed to say yes, does so half-heartedly, resents you a bit for it and comes up with some flimsy excuse not to go through with it after all.
I guess there may he some other super good reason. Her mother really did suddenly develop cancer this morning or she stubbed her toe reaching for the phone and just couldn't reach it to text you. Whatevs, I wouldn't be buying what the person is selling.
Now with that said, actual, literal, true emergencies can happen. Or even just extreme inconveniences, or conflicts, can happen. Life does happen and a legitimate emergency certainly is excusable/understandable and nothing to get up in arms about.
But if you're agonizing over whether you really have just been blown off, ask yourself exactly how many times you yourself have legitimately had an emergency on a date night when you just couldn't get to your phone or were only able to get to your phone very shortly before. When you count those times (if they've happened at all) you probably have your answer. No need to storm around or have a talking to with the person, personally I'd just be disappearing at that point, there are plenty of fish in the sea!
I think most people can tell the difference between a legitimate need for a reschedule and a blow-off but some people may be so desperate for the date (not most people that I know but obviously, it does happen) that they lie to themselves about it, basically. Meh, personal choice but as I said above, it's my feeling that adults should own their decisions. That's just me, I'm aware that I don't speak for every person on earth.
When someone who actually does want to spend time with you has a legit emergency, they typically inform you of that and reschedule. That's different than flaking out.
Met a cute Czech girl recently. Had a great first date just walking around my city enjoying a "Weg Bier." Planned on meeting up again last Saturday. An hour beforehand she hits me up telling me she had a presentation she didn't finish blah blah blah and couldn't make it. I didn't really believe her but who knows. I said "no worries" and met up with some of my new German friends and had a cool night out.
Anyways, she texts me Sunday apologizing and wanting to meet up soon. Siince I'm super insecure according to this thread, I agree and tell her that she owes me. She agrees. Last night she brought carryout to my place and we had an amazing night together.
I've learned not to take on a date at the last minute either. They're just not going to respect you much. This one guy said we would go out to this brewery. A couple days later he sends me a text "just to say hi" and that he's at the brewery by himself. I said "you went without me?" in a joking way but I immediately saw a red flag. He said he was still there if I wanted to meet up. I said nah. We texted a bit after that but he dropped off shortly after.
I agree with this. No last minute dates. At least a few days out.
When someone who actually does want to spend time with you has a legit emergency, they typically inform you of that and reschedule. That's different than flaking out.
I had one guy I've been dating who did something I thought was flaky a few weeks ago. However, he had never done it before or since and when we talked about it, it was a legitimate emergency. But that's not the same thing as a first date. Hinestly, someone who can't even let you know that won't make the first date...thats pretty rude. Like someone else said, Im busy. If I schedule in saiddate, it's because I intend to be there. You better be too.
I interpret flakiness as disinterest. Doesn't matter if it's canceling a date or repeated postponing due to "business" or if its repeatedly being very slow at responding.
Like for the past month or so a girl has told me "she really wants to meet me but her schedule is just full", yet she doesn't want to plan anything more than a week ahead = I'm her plan F or something if all other options fail.
Another girl will ask me a question, I'll answer it and ask her something within the minute and she'll take 48+ hours to respond... like 3 times in about 8 days... = She'll only chat with me if she absolutely has nothing else to pass her time.
Sometimes she's even checked my profile a couple of minutes after I sent something, and still not responded until 1 or 2 days later. Annoyinng A.F.
Yet this is how most women I've been in contact with behave, I'm trying to accept it though I'm unsure whether or not I should.
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