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"Indeed, although women who are emotionally dissatisfied in marriage seek extramarital emotional involvements, they are not more likely than satisfied women to have extramarital sexual affairs; only sexually dissatisfied women are more likely to have extramarital sexual involvements.18 Moreover, women who are sexually dissatisfied in marriage have been found to be over twice as likely as sexually satisfied women to have extramarital sex.19 Accordingly, the fact that women engage in short-term extramarital affairs can be explained simply as resulting from a frustrated “sex drive” (for lack of a better term). When the “sex drive” is going unsatisfied in marriage, women sometimes seek sexual satisfaction outside marriage. This may have reproductive benefits, but it is explicable without appeal to a mechanism specifically designed to harvest “good genes” from an extrapair partner."
Does anyone agree that from that portion of the article the following conclusion can be made? (Kinda wondering what the women here think)
Quote:
Originally Posted by torontocheeka
Only women who are sexually unsatisfied engage in sexual infidelity. It's pretty much a myth that women engage in infidelity because they've fallen for someone else.
I don't agree, usayit, not universally anyway. I am loathe to listen to a man try to explain female sexuality anyway, or vice versa. You can't get in our heads.
I've mentioned before that my husband and I have extramarital sex. We have full disclosure and permission (and we're usually together), so to us it's not cheating, but to others on this board it's infidelity. So maybe my opinion counts here. I can tell you my overall desire does not correlate that way with the satisfaction I get at home. When I am getting lots of satisfaction, my overall appetite goes up, not down. Sex is not like food, where you eat a certain amount, feel full, and then don't want anymore till you feel hungry again, at least not for me. Nor is sex simply about Os and feeling sated because I got mine.
I don't agree, usayit, not universally anyway. I am loathe to listen to a man try to explain female sexuality anyway, or vice versa. You can't get in our heads.
Just to be clear, none of my recent posts in this thread made any intention to explain female sexuality. I was quoting and questioning what I was reading in the link that someone else posted. I do make observations about females and discuss it. I don't mind it when women make their observations about men and discuss it.
I don't entertain any notion that I will ever totally understand females (ain't that obvious). Similarly, I loath it when women (not necessarily you) try to boil down men down to a simple mechanism (ie one switch... sex on / off. lol). No different than when men try to equate the understanding of women to that of the greatest world mystery.
Like you, my previous relationship was an open one. I agree with you 100%... similar experience as well. My wife and I are not open.... not better... just different... I also agree... Infidelity (what it means to a couple) is defined by the people who commit to each other.... nothing else matters.
9/10 of the replies are just piling on the usual knee jerk "cheaters are scum of the earth", instead of responding to the o.p.'s thoughts. Can we just for one thread get past the obvious? Men and women are very different, just in case some of you haven't noticed. You can insist otherwise till the cows come home but it won't make it true. A study was recently done where men and women were propositioned by total strangers of the opposite sex. Almost all the men went for the bait. NONE of the women did. None.
However, in real life, cheating situations rarely involve total strangers, and when/if a woman cheats on a man chances are GOOD that it will be someone he knows very well. And chances are GOOD that her heart is gone to that man that she is knocking boots with. In other words "its over pal", sorry you had to find out this way. Guys cheat because they could, and in many cases the primary relationship or marriage could in fact be salvaged afterwards. More women should learn from Hillary Clinton. If she had dumped her lowlife cheating scum of a husband she would not now have one of the best in the business running her campaign for the White House.
No one should be a doormat, but men and women both should try not to be hasty. Americans marry too early and too easily. Both conditions make a cheating scenario almost inevitable. I met my second wife at 46 y.o. I am 57 now, have never cheated, and might just make it till death us do part totally faithful. Had we met at 22 and I had never had any other woman but her... ... seriously... ya think? But this is exactly what many of you expect. That young people in their 20's should behave with the maturity and decency of middle aged people with a lot to lose. It isn't reasonable.
Actually you seem to be the one out of touch. Many posters on this board don't advocate getting married in your early 20's for this very reason. It's a time of self-discovery.
If a couple decides to get married at a young age well guess what, they have a responsibility to stay committed to their partner and vice versa. If they didn't want the responsibility they shouldn't have made commitment.
I understand cheating happens but I really don't have respect for someone who makes excuses such as "OH I was Young". Own up to it.
Women who cheat and get pregnant and dont know who the father is are the worst. All cheaters are terrible, but at least a woman would never end up raising a child she thinks is hers for 18 years and end up finding out that it is not.
In my opinion, I feel that society is more willing to accept a female cheater versus a male cheater. When we hear of cheating, we almost inadvertently blame the male for enticing the female. The male is looked upon as being a player, a horndog, just a typical horny little man satisfying an itch. The female half is looked at as a victim of circumstance.
Cheating is cheating, no matter what the reason. A cheater is hurting other people for selfish reasons. If a person isn't happy in a relationship, step up to the plate and call it quits so everyone can go about their life.
Man-made rules does not always = personal ideals. Meaning, you are under the impression that people are not happy. You are under the impression that people cheat for selfish reasons. This is all you and those that think like you.
Have you been to the dark net? Have you looked at crime statistics? Have you heard of all the slave trading, illegal substance trades, and illegal fire arms purchases? Have you looked at fraud, waste, and abuse claims in Government and private sectors? Where do you think cheating fits in all of this? It's all the same!
It's selfish of you literally to think that all the above crimes are of a lesser degree or even different than cheating. Welcome to the world- it's even worse than your little space you live in.
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