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i really don’t know how to express myself still i will try. Its been 2 years since i am dating my boyfriend. Both of us are in our late twenties and this is the 2nd relationship for both of us. We started dating in 2014 before that we were friends for one year. In his last relationship his ex cheated on him and she dumped him in 2012. In my last relationship my ex got married to someone else,it was a mutual break up. So we started dating after 2 years of that breakup.This was the first time i fell for someone but he was always aloof during the initial period of our relationship. I thought maybe he is still not over her.so i keep on doing my part. i was always extra loving ,caring. I was always eager to see him. six months passed he started opening up little bit..i was so happy but there was always some distance between us. Sometimes he used to behave like a stranger, he never let me in completely in his life.
He never asked me anything about my life..i am not talking about general questions i mean questions which makes you close to someone .. it was me who used to tell him about my school days, my college days..my family problem . my childhood days… not even once did he ask me any question about life. he also did not share on his own anything about his life. It not like we never used to talk.. but there was lack of deep connection.Still i waited that one day he will fall in love with me . one day he will see my worth,one day he will let me in his life but that day never came.
My 2 birthdays passed,on my first b’day he forgot to gift me anything when he saw me upset he bought me some flowers. i am not a materialistic person.i only wanted something from him as a token of love.. maybe a song sang by him for me, a vidoe anything. When my second b’day came he did nothing . i couldn’t hold myself and i cried but i realized you can’t force someone to do anything maybe birthdays doesn’t matter to him.. so i have decided from now one i will not going to treat my birthday as a special day. His birthday means a lot to me and it will always going to be.. i always planned a lot about his birthday… i want to do everything for him. i just want to see him happy.. but i am not financially strong in comparison to him. so i try to do little things just to make him happy. Its not like that he was a bad person. he is always good to me. everyday he calls me, when i visit him sometimes he cooks for me.. when i share any problem with him he listens to me.. but when i share any problem regarding our relationship ..he avoid listening to me. i feel alone those times. i have to deal everything on my own. he used to flirt with me a lot when we were friends..he used to say lot romantic things to me but since the day we got into relationship he never say anything romantic to me. when i dedicate him any romantic song.. after telling him so many times then only he listen it.
i want to do so many romantic things for him.. but i know he will not even understand the depth of my emotions. if we see from outside my relationship is good.. but i feel emptiness in my life.. there is so much distance between us. i tried very hard to fill those spaces in our relationship. but with the time i feel day by day he is turning into a stranger for me. so i broke up with him last night telling him everything .he said he loves me but he doesn’t love me as much as i love him. he said for me he is the priority but he can;t do the same. he said i should reconsider..he said he understand very well that how much i love him..he loves me too but not to that extent .. after that he did not say anything and he excepted that. i know one thing in my heart i can fight to the whole world for him.. but i can’t fight with him for his love.He was my everything. i can do anything for his one smile. its not like i wanted to change him . i loved him the way he was.. i just wanted to feel loved.Did i make any mistake in letting him go ??
He does love you, he is just got obsessed emotionally over silly gestures like you are. It will always be like this for you, because no one will ever be good enough, because they "don't love you enough."
He does love you, he is just got obsessed emotionally over silly gestures like you are. It will always be like this for you, because no one will ever be good enough, because they "don't love you enough."
What silly gestures you are talking about. i can not even discuss any relationship problems with him... because he thinks i should deal them on my own. He doesn't believe in valentine day.. i was okay with that. he never wished me on any festivals.. i was okay with that.. i only expected from him a b' day gift may be card ..i was not asking for any expensive gift.. i just wanted something as a token of love. he never aksed me anything about my abusive ex.. that why are was scared of me... even when i wanted to discuss he avoided me..he never wanted know my life in depth. don't judge me if you don't know me.
Why would you talk to him about an abusive ex? That never comes up, even with my spouse who was abused in the past. I didn't judge you at all, you just want loving gestures that obviously weren't there, good for you, go find someone else. All I was saying is that no one owes you anything.
You're incompatible, and you'll never be truly happy with this guy. Sure, you can fool yourself into not caring about these things, or be happy with giving more than you're getting for a little while...but eventually that **** will get real old. Differences like these become chasms the longer you're together. Besides, there are plenty of guys out there who love romantic gestures and will make you much happier long-term.
Also, no other person can be your everything. You need some time to rediscover yourself without a significant other in the picture.
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