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Old 04-03-2016, 03:13 PM
 
24,644 posts, read 26,705,249 times
Reputation: 22650

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
I'll never get why supporting one's progeny is such a horrifying concept, and why these types of posters seem to think that seeing to the needs of one's children only comes into play when/if you split up.
Well, supporting kids and 2 different households is a much more expensive proposition.
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Old 04-03-2016, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Central IL
13,289 posts, read 7,065,424 times
Reputation: 30882
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77 View Post
We talked and I asked her about kids, if she wanted to have kids right now i said "Im not ready for kids!". She laughed and said "Do you think i want to have now?! LOL of course no, i'm not ready either!" And I replied "What about your biological clock?" And she said: "Well, i don't know, some women have children by 35, 40...all I know it's risky"
Anyway she said she's still confused about "if she wants kids or no", because sometimes she's afraid in the future she would regret for not having children. But about us she said she wants me forever and started to cry...As we were in a restaurant i comforted her...!
Friends, this is more complicated than I imagine!
So, since she doesn't want to break up ...and she SAYS she suddenly doesn't want kids NOW, you're gonna chicken out and milk this for awhile longer? Why don't you grow some and do what you need to do? Why does the above sound like the very first conversation you've ever had on the topic?

BTW....just wondering why you're "...77"...hope that's not referring to your real age since you're supposed to be 30 - I can see that as more likely but it would put you in an even worse light if you're a decade older.
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Old 04-03-2016, 04:08 PM
 
24,644 posts, read 26,705,249 times
Reputation: 22650
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
So, since she doesn't want to break up ...and she SAYS she suddenly doesn't want kids NOW, you're gonna chicken out and milk this for awhile longer?
This is what I'm thinking. More drama and possibly an "unplanned" pregnancy with a dad who doesn't want a kid = perpetuating a negative cycle.

I sincerely hope the above scenario doesn't play out, but I fear it easily could.
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Old 04-03-2016, 09:58 PM
 
4,380 posts, read 3,418,091 times
Reputation: 4375
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77 View Post
I'm 30 she's 33...We've been dating for almost a year, recently we had a fight about having children as i'm not ready for marriage and kids but i think she wants because of her biological clock. We both are divorced but she said she wants to think about her life if she wants marriage/kids or not but i think that deep inside her heart she already wants. I like her a lot but i think we should focus more in our life, our dating, get to know each other better, our relatiohship and let our future our destiny decide for both of us... it's too soon to talk about marriage and kids but I understand her. I'm not dating her just for dating, i love her i want her but i don't want to rush things, i'm just careful even with we're both are divorced so i think we should go slow...i'm not sure if she would agree with me. What to do? What should I tell her?
Anyway I'm very sad because she said she wants to think about us but i believe she wants do break up!
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
...and she SAYS she suddenly doesn't want kids NOW, you're gonna chicken out and milk this for awhile longer?
He actually said in the OP she wasn't sure she whether or not she wants to have kids. He apparently then decided that meant she wants them right this second.

Although I still believe that after almost a year, they should have a pretty good idea where this relationship is going.
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Old 04-04-2016, 09:22 AM
 
15,816 posts, read 13,373,552 times
Reputation: 35082
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
Well, supporting kids and 2 different households is a much more expensive proposition.
Still doesn't make much sense. If you divorce without kids, mom and dad have to support their own households, just as they did before marriage. Not having kids living with you full time is a money saver in a thousand ways for the non-custodial parent, which is why he or she is expected to continue to contribute more or less the same to the kids' needs and upkeep as he or she would if still living with them so that they are not penalized by the divorce.

Oh, I just realized you may not know the difference between child support and alimony.
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Old 04-04-2016, 12:17 PM
 
321 posts, read 149,198 times
Reputation: 156
I'm worried about what would happen after another year! Will she try to manipulate me to marry or move in together with her? Will she try to secretly get pregnant?
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Old 04-04-2016, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,064,782 times
Reputation: 22091
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77 View Post
I'm worried about what would happen after another year! Will she try to manipulate me to marry or move in together with her? Will she try to secretly get pregnant?
Perhaps you should try to have a relationship with her and communicate with her. You've been with her a year and it seems you don't know her at all. It also seems that you don't trust her at all. Which begs the question - why are you with someone that you don't trust?
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Old 04-04-2016, 12:23 PM
 
32,581 posts, read 22,551,961 times
Reputation: 29604
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Perhaps you should try to have a relationship with her and communicate with her. You've been with her a year and it seems you don't know her at all. It also seems that you don't trust her at all. Which begs the question - why are you with someone that you don't trust?
Which begs the question, does this person even exist? I think we know.
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Old 04-04-2016, 12:41 PM
 
321 posts, read 149,198 times
Reputation: 156
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Perhaps you should try to have a relationship with her and communicate with her. You've been with her a year and it seems you don't know her at all. It also seems that you don't trust her at all. Which begs the question - why are you with someone that you don't trust?
I don't know, sometimes i ask myself this!
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Old 04-04-2016, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Canada
8,692 posts, read 7,744,935 times
Reputation: 17899
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77 View Post
I don't know, sometimes i ask myself this!
Your posting history here is available for all to see. You have issues that jump out of all 115 posts you've made. Let your GF go and find someone who actually loves and cares for her and wants to share a life and family with her. You are a mess and you're damaging her with your words and actions. Quite frankly, I think you are controlling and mentally abusive of her and she needs to get away from you, and quickly. Assuming this is even real.
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