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I'm 30 she's 33...We've been dating for almost a year, recently we had a fight about having children as i'm not ready for marriage and kids but i think she wants because of her biological clock. We both are divorced but she said she wants to think about her life if she wants marriage/kids or not but i think that deep inside her heart she already wants. I like her a lot but i think we should focus more in our life, our dating, get to know each other better, our relatiohship and let our future our destiny decide for both of us... it's too soon to talk about marriage and kids but I understand her. I'm not dating her just for dating, i love her i want her but i don't want to rush things, i'm just careful even with we're both are divorced so i think we should go slow...i'm not sure if she would agree with me. What to do? What should I tell her?
Anyway I'm very sad because she said she wants to think about us but i believe she wants do break up!
I'm 30 she's 33...We've been dating for almost a year, recently we had a fight about having children as i'm not ready for marriage and kids but i think she wants because of her biological clock.
Lesson one: Don't make up excuses for someone else who disagrees with you. It really is quite ugly.
Lesson two: Listen to someone when they speak to you. You are not ready for marriage and kids, she is. Why not take it at face value?
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77
We both are divorced but she said she wants to think about her life if she wants marriage/kids or not but i think that deep inside her heart she already wants.
Yup, she probably does.
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77
I like her a lot but i think we should focus more in our life, our dating, get to know each other better, our relatiohship and let our future our destiny decide for both of us...
You're 30, she's 33, you've been dating for a year. How much "better" do you need to know each other?
At some point, you need to fish or cut bait. Seriously.
When would it be an appropriate time for you to admit that you both want different things? When she gets tired of the "let's just date and let the fates determine where we go" line? Or when you have heard "but honey, where is this headed?" too many times?
Shoot, from just the little you've said here, I see a screeching neon sign above your heads saying "not compatible".
She wants a commitment. You don't want to give it. What's there to discuss?
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77
it's too soon to talk about marriage and kids but I understand her.
You've been dating almost a year. When exactly would it be time to actually speak about what you two want in the future?
I get the "going slow" thing, but geez, to not even be on the same page regarding possibilities in the future?
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77
I'm not dating her just for dating, i love her i want her but i don't want to rush things, i'm just careful even with we're both are divorced so i think we should go slow
Rush? Jeez, you're not even moving.
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77
Anyway I'm very sad because she said she wants to think about us but i believe she wants do break up!
If you are not compatible in long-term goals, why would breaking up not be the best course of action here?
^^^ This...
and don't let anyone pressure you to do things you don't want...
Of course i won't!
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