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Old 04-01-2016, 11:37 AM
 
321 posts, read 150,136 times
Reputation: 156

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I'm 30 she's 33...We've been dating for almost a year, recently we had a fight about having children as i'm not ready for marriage and kids but i think she wants because of her biological clock. We both are divorced but she said she wants to think about her life if she wants marriage/kids or not but i think that deep inside her heart she already wants. I like her a lot but i think we should focus more in our life, our dating, get to know each other better, our relatiohship and let our future our destiny decide for both of us... it's too soon to talk about marriage and kids but I understand her. I'm not dating her just for dating, i love her i want her but i don't want to rush things, i'm just careful even with we're both are divorced so i think we should go slow...i'm not sure if she would agree with me. What to do? What should I tell her?
Anyway I'm very sad because she said she wants to think about us but i believe she wants do break up!
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Old 04-01-2016, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Carolina
190 posts, read 290,813 times
Reputation: 324
If you ant ready, don't do it, no matter what she wants.
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Old 04-01-2016, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Greater LA area
15,736 posts, read 11,744,086 times
Reputation: 30563
A year is nothing. You don't know each other well enough yet.


Tell her what you told us .... and better use a condom ...
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Old 04-01-2016, 11:54 AM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,131,258 times
Reputation: 8048
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77 View Post
I'm 30 she's 33...We've been dating for almost a year, recently we had a fight about having children as i'm not ready for marriage and kids but i think she wants because of her biological clock.

Lesson one: Don't make up excuses for someone else who disagrees with you. It really is quite ugly.

Lesson two: Listen to someone when they speak to you. You are not ready for marriage and kids, she is. Why not take it at face value?

Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77 View Post
We both are divorced but she said she wants to think about her life if she wants marriage/kids or not but i think that deep inside her heart she already wants.
Yup, she probably does.


Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77 View Post
I like her a lot but i think we should focus more in our life, our dating, get to know each other better, our relatiohship and let our future our destiny decide for both of us...
You're 30, she's 33, you've been dating for a year. How much "better" do you need to know each other?

At some point, you need to fish or cut bait. Seriously.

When would it be an appropriate time for you to admit that you both want different things? When she gets tired of the "let's just date and let the fates determine where we go" line? Or when you have heard "but honey, where is this headed?" too many times?

Shoot, from just the little you've said here, I see a screeching neon sign above your heads saying "not compatible".

She wants a commitment. You don't want to give it. What's there to discuss?


Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77 View Post
it's too soon to talk about marriage and kids but I understand her.
You've been dating almost a year. When exactly would it be time to actually speak about what you two want in the future?

I get the "going slow" thing, but geez, to not even be on the same page regarding possibilities in the future?

Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77 View Post
I'm not dating her just for dating, i love her i want her but i don't want to rush things, i'm just careful even with we're both are divorced so i think we should go slow
Rush? Jeez, you're not even moving.


Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77 View Post
Anyway I'm very sad because she said she wants to think about us but i believe she wants do break up!
If you are not compatible in long-term goals, why would breaking up not be the best course of action here?
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Old 04-01-2016, 11:57 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
6,717 posts, read 4,231,603 times
Reputation: 10344
Then you need to tell her that.
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Old 04-01-2016, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
21,465 posts, read 22,698,975 times
Reputation: 45139
Is this the same girlfriend that you don't trust and have jealousy issues about her past (per your thread history)?
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Old 04-01-2016, 12:01 PM
 
321 posts, read 150,136 times
Reputation: 156
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Then you need to tell her that.
I will!
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Is this the same girlfriend that you don't trust and have jealousy issues about her past (per your thread history)?
Yes
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Old 04-01-2016, 12:03 PM
 
32,716 posts, read 22,666,022 times
Reputation: 29777
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuason77 View Post
Yes
Then why is this even a topic under consideration? And why are you even dating them?

Does not compute.
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Old 04-01-2016, 12:04 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston
33,559 posts, read 51,767,813 times
Reputation: 82971
Quote:
Originally Posted by gatorxxx View Post
If you ant ready, don't do it, no matter what she wants.
^^^ This

Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
A year is nothing. You don't know each other well enough yet.


Tell her what you told us .... and better use a condom ...
^^^ This...
and don't let anyone pressure you to do things you don't want...
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Old 04-01-2016, 12:06 PM
 
321 posts, read 150,136 times
Reputation: 156
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
^^^ This



^^^ This...
and don't let anyone pressure you to do things you don't want...
Of course i won't!
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