U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-03-2016, 02:15 PM
 
1,334 posts, read 581,239 times
Reputation: 1393

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWings18 View Post
Wanting a highly physically attractive partner isn't about arm candy, at least not for me. The more physically attractive, normally, the hotter the sex.
Actually I've found the opposite to be true, I have found that women who are unattractive by conventional standards tend to be the best in bed, maybe because they feel they have to try harder and are often more willing to do those freaky things that most pretty women won't do(unless the guy is rich, she's an escort you are paying or she was molested as a child).

it's the female version of the "nice guy" approach. the mind set that the less physically attracted you are the more everything else has to be perfect to make up for it. as in if your an ugly guy you better be wealthy and able to give her the big O every time if your girl is hott, if your an ugly women, you better be pornstar in bed, A great cook and personality as sweet as sugar flavored sugar if your guy is a hunk.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-03-2016, 02:19 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,672 posts, read 7,701,574 times
Reputation: 12385
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
That's a good point...what's high maintenance? I mean okay, if the woman literally requires flowers thrown at her feet every time they have a date that would be high maintenance, or if she requires trips to Paris at every turn of the seasons (provided he doesn't want that as well), can't really argue with these exmples. But barring extremes, every person will have different comfort levels with this category. There's a post above where the boyfriend apparently thinks it's a huge chore literally to just sing "happy birthday," much less actually get a gift. That apparently is HIS idea of "high maintenance." You know?

And then there are some people who love to do for others. It makes *them* feel good. He might love to open her door and feel very manly and romantic doing it. She might love to give him little gifts. Yet the next person might think wanting such things would constitute a serious imposition, even usury...and "high maintenance."

So sometimes you might shake your head at another couple, yet they're both perfectly happy.

This is really, IMO, about *your comfort level*, full stop...no matter what that is. If *you feel* pushed around and disrespected then SOMETHING'S not right...but what's not right may simply be that you're not a match and you think very different things are important and necessary. It doesn't mean one of you is "wrong," per se. It doesn't have to mean she's a princess or you're cheap and not manly, or whatever. It is just not a match.

The reasons why people stay have pretty much already been covered but I felt LC made such a good point there that I wanted to comment.
Absolutely outstanding post my love spot on!!!

That's exactly what I was referring to or getting at if you will...... But doubt I'd ever be able to word it as good as that LOL

( can't rep again )
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2016, 02:23 PM
 
1,166 posts, read 425,045 times
Reputation: 1451
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyphorx View Post
Actually I've found the opposite to be true, I have found that women who are unattractive by conventional standards tend to be the best in bed, maybe because they feel they have to try harder and are often more willing to do those freaky things that most pretty women won't do(unless the guy is rich, she's an escort you are paying or she was molested as a child).

it's the female version of the "nice guy" approach. the mind set that the less physically attracted you are the more everything else has to be perfect to make up for it. as in if your an ugly guy you better be wealthy and able to give her the big O every time if your girl is hott, if your an ugly women, you better be pornstar in bed, A great cook and personality as sweet as sugar flavored sugar if your guy is a hunk.
Meh. No amount of "trying harder," without getting too graphic, is going to get that animal style desire and my blood pumping like natural beauty, which equates to more pleasurable sex, in general.

Yes, passion, connection, feelings all make sex better, but on a base, primal level, hotter woman, hotter sex.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2016, 02:25 PM
 
1,166 posts, read 425,045 times
Reputation: 1451
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyphorx View Post
Actually I've found the opposite to be true, I have found that women who are unattractive by conventional standards tend to be the best in bed, maybe because they feel they have to try harder and are often more willing to do those freaky things that most pretty women won't do(unless the guy is rich, she's an escort you are paying or she was molested as a child).

it's the female version of the "nice guy" approach. the mind set that the less physically attracted you are the more everything else has to be perfect to make up for it. as in if your an ugly guy you better be wealthy and able to give her the big O every time if your girl is hott, if your an ugly women, you better be pornstar in bed, A great cook and personality as sweet as sugar flavored sugar if your guy is a hunk.
And if you think pretty women don't get freaky, then you're clearly not hanging out with the right pretty women....or you've never actually been with one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2016, 02:27 PM
 
24,737 posts, read 26,803,263 times
Reputation: 22723
Quote:
Originally Posted by Down in a Hole View Post
Why do guys put up with this? I just can't anymore...

I don't know what annoys me more..that or the men that put up with it.
People put up with dysfunctional stuff from others and from themselves because they're getting something out of it. It's usually a short term emotional payoff (maybe it's beauty, the guy doesn't think he deserves better, it's a pattern than was established in his own family so it seems familiar, etc.) that comes at the expense of the person's long term well being.

Humans aren't very rational creatures. We're creatures of the short term. Of the familiar and comfortable, even when those things are to our long term detriment. It takes effort to move out of your comfort zone.

Last edited by mysticaltyger; 04-03-2016 at 02:38 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2016, 02:27 PM
 
1,166 posts, read 425,045 times
Reputation: 1451
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Is it because you are more attracted to her or because you are positing that the more attractive a woman is, the better she is in bed?
I'm not talking "skill set" in bed.

As a woman, you're not likely to relate, but maybe you can I don't know. But the more physically attractive a woman is, the more pleasurable the sex is, on a base level.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2016, 02:41 PM
 
Location: NW Nevada
13,340 posts, read 10,909,247 times
Reputation: 12290
Quote:
Originally Posted by Down in a Hole View Post
I have recently come to the realization that I just can't do it anymore...

I have dated several women that were high maintenance. The biggest problem here is that I myself can be impatient. Having to wait 3 hours for someone to get ready, to be late all the time, and to be pushed aside for what someone else considers "more important things" is just wrong. They always seem to be very much into themselves and you cannot depend on them for when things go bad. And all this for (if you are lucky) mediocre sex?

Why do guys put up with this? I just can't anymore...

I don't know what annoys me more..that or the men that put up with it.
Hmmm....I suppose my lady love could be considered "high maintenance", but not in a materialistic or corporeal way. She's not vain or demanding per se, but she does need extra attention. Help with certain things, physical stuff, because of some medical issues. Lifting , reaching stuff up high, things like that. And, due to some trauma she has suffered, at times she really needs some emotional support, even if its just being held and letting her cry a bit.

She used to (still does sometimes) feel bad about this stuff, so reassurance is also needed. I'm far from being a doormat, I do these things because I love her , more than life, and these things are not being demanded of me. She just needs the extra TLC, and I don't mind at all. This is probably not exactly what you're talking about, nevertheless, the maintenance effort is above what's considered average. She's hardly a basket case, and doesn't get. clingy or overly "needy", but she does have needs. And she also reciprocates, because I need her as well. So, a WO.an can be "high maintenance", without being a ball and chain. When appreciation, genuine appreciation, for ones efforts is there, that's what makes the difference, plus its not her choice or doing that she needs extra attention. It just is.

Some might balk at a situation like ours, not me though. When I think about it, I have higher maintenance requirements of my own, so, it all evens out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2016, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,565 posts, read 42,426,763 times
Reputation: 24873
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
People who are high maintenance looks wise can also be wonderful people.
Yes they can be.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2016, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
13,510 posts, read 11,042,677 times
Reputation: 24002
Quote:
Originally Posted by HabsFanMTL88 View Post
Good looks =\= good lay.
I find this false. I think, guys who think is watch too much porn, Lol
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2016, 09:15 PM
 
Location: san gabriel valley
615 posts, read 378,923 times
Reputation: 984
go back to basic b*tches then...then you will complain that they don't care about their appearance, they are boring, blah blah.....men are never satisfied...they want a hot chick but then complain about how high maintenance they are...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top