U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 04-28-2016, 05:24 PM
 
15,729 posts, read 13,276,425 times
Reputation: 34828

Advertisements

How old are you OP? Are you in school or anything?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-28-2016, 05:51 PM
 
1,626 posts, read 3,094,344 times
Reputation: 360
I'm in my 30's I am licensed professional. I was in university for 8 years. I don't want to give out to much. I just have a over analytical personality type and I second guess everything. I'm not really an extrovert at all. I can socialize just fine but I think on some level I do have an unusual amount of anxiety. Especically initially.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-28-2016, 05:56 PM
 
30,700 posts, read 23,940,920 times
Reputation: 17644
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swan Dive View Post
For some reason I feeling ask to text her is better for building rapport. The last gym girl she gave me her text and wanted texts I did get her number. And even in person we talked but found she already was planning to move away.She wanted text first and that what I gave her, I just worry that lunch is to forward and could scare her off.I was thinking about saying I want to continue our conversation can I text her at some point to talk more.

I just dont want to ask for a semi-date until I know her better and feel cofindently she is interested. I also done want her to be caught off guard by this.

I know this way sound wimpy .I not oblivious to this.

she's one of these types in the gym with the perfect body and does bikini contests. So it ups the intimidation factor. I literally see dudes hitting on her non stop almost every time. These guys talk and then come back again to take later to her very forward types. One time this guy was talking to her and she looked at me directly with deep looking like eye massive long eye contact and he kept talking away. I do think he noticed that she was focused on me with extended glances. he give me weird looks now in the gym. about 30 seconds later another deep direct eye contact . Boom dead square in the face and this was no glance
in other words you are a coward. you want to be anonymous with this girl until she decides to jump your bones or walks away from you forever, i mean so far it has worked out great for you hasnt it?

in this life if you want to get somewhere, you have to take a chance, a leap of faith as it were. you dont get anywhere playing it safe all the time. in seal training for instance, you are put through the ringer and then some. the physical and mental demands on you are extreme, but you always ahve a safe way out, just ring the bell and you can get a nice hot shower, and a nice hot meal, and a nice rest, on your way back to the fleet. same with any other special forces schools. but if you want to be the best, you have to step up and make the commitment.

its the same if you want to get the girl, you cant hide in the shadows hoping that she will come forward and declare her dying love for you, and that you two need to ride off into the sunset together, real life does not work that way. you want the girl? go get her. make her want you. fortune favors the bold, and if you make bold moves, you end up getting the things you want in life.

is there risk? of course, there is risk in anything. but the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. i was the same way you are now, sitting in the shadows, and letting women into and out of my life. when i decided to step up and take the plunge, women started responding positively. i found i could date just about ANY woman i wanted, provided i treat her with dignity and respect.

so stop being a wimp, step up and go talk to this girl, and ask her out.

once again remember that fortune favors the bold, BE BOLD!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-28-2016, 09:31 PM
 
1,626 posts, read 3,094,344 times
Reputation: 360
You guys are right. Its seems to be she thinks I have no interest. She does look at me here and there but its distant and less often, she's less reactive to me. I am also looking at her less, yet still interested.

Again she was tonight surrounded by people. but on the cardio with friends on either side.

If she was one of her usual GF's lifting weights. I feel that would work. I would approach then.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-28-2016, 09:32 PM
 
1,626 posts, read 3,094,344 times
Reputation: 360
Quote:
Originally Posted by rbohm View Post
in other words you are a coward. you want to be anonymous with this girl until she decides to jump your bones or walks away from you forever, i mean so far it has worked out great for you hasnt it?

in this life if you want to get somewhere, you have to take a chance, a leap of faith as it were. you dont get anywhere playing it safe all the time. in seal training for instance, you are put through the ringer and then some. the physical and mental demands on you are extreme, but you always ahve a safe way out, just ring the bell and you can get a nice hot shower, and a nice hot meal, and a nice rest, on your way back to the fleet. same with any other special forces schools. but if you want to be the best, you have to step up and make the commitment.

its the same if you want to get the girl, you cant hide in the shadows hoping that she will come forward and declare her dying love for you, and that you two need to ride off into the sunset together, real life does not work that way. you want the girl? go get her. make her want you. fortune favors the bold, and if you make bold moves, you end up getting the things you want in life.

is there risk? of course, there is risk in anything. but the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. i was the same way you are now, sitting in the shadows, and letting women into and out of my life. when i decided to step up and take the plunge, women started responding positively. i found i could date just about ANY woman i wanted, provided i treat her with dignity and respect.

so stop being a wimp, step up and go talk to this girl, and ask her out.

once again remember that fortune favors the bold, BE BOLD!!
You guys are right. Its seems to be she thinks I have no interest. She does look at me here and there but its distant and less often, she's less reactive to me. I am also looking at her less, yet still interested in her.

I think she defiantly thinks I'm not interested, and responding to that. she seems suddenly pulled away to me. Or its unsure what is going on

Again she was tonight surrounded by people. but on the cardio with friends on either side.

If she was one of her usual GF's lifting weights. I feel that would work. I would approach then.

*I have I now have some ways to approach her with her friends. It isn't just walking up

Last edited by Swan Dive; 04-28-2016 at 09:46 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-28-2016, 09:50 PM
 
307 posts, read 162,827 times
Reputation: 397
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swan Dive View Post
You guys are right. Its seems to be she thinks I have no interest. She does look at me here and there but its distant and less often, she's less reactive to me. I am also looking at her less, yet still interested.

Again she was tonight surrounded by people. but on the cardio with friends on either side.

If she was one of her usual GF's lifting weights. I feel that would work. I would approach then.
Yet another excuse. Grab a piece of paper, put your name and number on it, and the following: You mentioned we should talk -- would love to.

Then walk over to her even if she's surrounded by the entire gym, and simply say:

Hey, I'm on my way out and you look busy, so I hope you can forgive the note.

You're on your way out anyway. It's quick, courteous, and you'll know for sure if she's interested by her decision to call. Nothing to be anxious about. In the meantime, plan what you want to talk about. Focus on asking questions about her, and when she talks, really, truly listen. And read Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence people.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-28-2016, 10:02 PM
 
1,626 posts, read 3,094,344 times
Reputation: 360
Quote:
Originally Posted by rs1n View Post
Yet another excuse. Grab a piece of paper, put your name and number on it, and the following: You mentioned we should talk -- would love to.

Then walk over to her even if she's surrounded by the entire gym, and simply say:

Hey, I'm on my way out and you look busy, so I hope you can forgive the note.

You're on your way out anyway. It's quick, courteous, and you'll know for sure if she's interested by her decision to call. Nothing to be anxious about. In the meantime, plan what you want to talk about. Focus on asking questions about her, and when she talks, really, truly listen. And read Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence people.
Was her asking me twice "that we should talk" essentially an open invitation to get to know each other? and I didn't follow through or hardly did and she is pulling way.

Was that an obvious statement that I should taken more seriously. I mean was that one of the subtle signs women throw out there?

Did I make a huge error it was a bigger deal that i thought?

This may seem silly but I know she knows allot of people there and used to work there. If she's doesn't give her number to me I don't want this spread all over the staff and members. I don't want to be the target of gossip and weird looks. I mean if everyone there didnt know her that would be easier

I do agree that she seems pulled back and likely thinks I'm not interested. Somehow I can see it in her face tonight when she looks at me

Last edited by Swan Dive; 04-28-2016 at 10:44 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-28-2016, 10:17 PM
 
307 posts, read 162,827 times
Reputation: 397
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swan Dive View Post
Was her asking me twice "that we should talk" essentially an open invitation to get to know each other? and I didn't follow through or hardly did and she is pulling way.

Was that an obvious statement that I should taken more seriously. I mean was that one of the subtle signs women throw out there?

Did I make a huge error it was a bigger deal that i thought?
Twice?! No, that's not subtle. She was being quite forward in saying she is interested in getting to know you. Or, at least she was... how long has it been since she's said that? (What exactly did you think she meant by "we should talk"?)

PS You seriously are setting off my troll-o-meter.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-28-2016, 10:38 PM
 
1,626 posts, read 3,094,344 times
Reputation: 360
Quote:
Originally Posted by rs1n View Post
Twice?! No, that's not subtle. She was being quite forward in saying she is interested in getting to know you. Or, at least she was... how long has it been since she's said that? (What exactly did you think she meant by "we should talk"?)

PS You seriously are setting off my troll-o-meter.
I'm 100% no troll. My skills are rusty because I have been focused on other things and neglecting my social life.

I seriously second guess everything.

Im posting this thread because its real and I'm trying fix my hesitation anxiety problem about this issue in my life.

I see this forum as support and motivation to fix this problem.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-28-2016, 10:43 PM
 
6,805 posts, read 3,233,248 times
Reputation: 8481
She was never into you in the first place.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top