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Old 04-10-2016, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Western, Colorado
1,599 posts, read 2,677,732 times
Reputation: 937

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I'm a small/medium business owner and don't travel at all besides visiting family trips. My wife goes away frequently for 3-5 day trips a few(5-10) times a year. They are somewhat career related, but they are casual to say the least.

We travel as a family 2-3x a year to visit family on the east coast. We also travel as a family 1x a year to Europe for ~20 days.

I'm wanting to spend about a week in Europe, on my bicycle, just wandering around my families village, people watching, drinking espressos, and decompressing from the stressful life I have.

We are both income earners, although I pay 100% or all our expenses as well as traveling.

My question is, do you guys think it would be wrong to ask to go on a trip like this solo? Do you think it's selfish? I feel that it's important to my wellbeing and something I think about a lot.
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Old 04-10-2016, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
38,864 posts, read 37,535,343 times
Reputation: 73309
It's VERY self-indulgent. Not sure I would go so far as to call it selfish.
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Old 04-10-2016, 08:52 AM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,672 posts, read 7,669,647 times
Reputation: 12385
Quote:
Originally Posted by motoracer51 View Post
I'm a small/medium business owner and don't travel at all besides visiting family trips. My wife goes away frequently for 3-5 day trips a few(5-10) times a year. They are somewhat career related, but they are casual to say the least.

We travel as a family 2-3x a year to visit family on the east coast. We also travel as a family 1x a year to Europe for ~20 days.

I'm wanting to spend about a week in Europe, on my bicycle, just wandering around my families village, people watching, drinking espressos, and decompressing from the stressful life I have.

We are both income earners, although I pay 100% or all our expenses as well as traveling.

My question is, do you guys think it would be wrong to ask to go on a trip like this solo? Do you think it's selfish? I feel that it's important to my wellbeing and something I think about a lot.
Personally I think it's not a big deal and you obviously have a lot on at home so it's a great release and would be therapeutic for you and at least you would be talking to her about it and not " right love I'm going on holiday for a week by myself! " sort of thing ( I know a few like that LOL )

I'm sure you don't have a problem with her going on a break so I'm sure she wouldn't mind either mate


Have a great time
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Old 04-10-2016, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Central IL
13,291 posts, read 7,082,270 times
Reputation: 30913
Quote:
Originally Posted by motoracer51 View Post

We are both income earners, although I pay 100% or all our expenses as well as traveling.
So...all of her income goes to buying shoes and handbags...or to your savings? That makes a big difference. I guess I don't like the implication that since you make all the money you're entitled to something...just SAY IT, don't imply it. She does take care of the kids/home? Let's hear that side as well.
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Old 04-10-2016, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,216 posts, read 7,910,649 times
Reputation: 8412
It sounds like you deserve it, and you shouldn't hesitate to do this, especially as your wife gets to do similar things often (shorter length, but so what?). Go for it. If she objects, then ask why it's okay for her, but not you. I think she can reasonably feel a little uncomfortable about the length, but shouldn't have real objections unless there is an unreasonable double standard.
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Old 04-10-2016, 09:01 AM
 
5,680 posts, read 5,001,511 times
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It wouldn't be a big deal to me, personally. My partner and I travel separately on occasion. However, we don't have children.

The way you are writing this seems like you are stacking the deck pretty heavily in your favor though (her work trips aren't *really* work trips, her income doesn't factor into the household budget, etc.). At the end of the day you and she are in the marriage, the opinions of the people on the internet aren't really going to factor in here.
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Old 04-10-2016, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
38,864 posts, read 37,535,343 times
Reputation: 73309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne View Post

The way you are writing this seems like you are stacking the deck pretty heavily in your favor though (her work trips aren't *really* work trips, her income doesn't factor into the household budget, etc.). At the end of the day you and she are in the marriage, the opinions of the people on the internet aren't really going to factor in here.
Yep, definitely building a case.
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Old 04-10-2016, 09:22 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,925,490 times
Reputation: 42368
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne View Post
It wouldn't be a big deal to me, personally. My partner and I travel separately on occasion. However, we don't have children.

The way you are writing this seems like you are stacking the deck pretty heavily in your favor though (her work trips aren't *really* work trips, her income doesn't factor into the household budget, etc.). At the end of the day you and she are in the marriage, the opinions of the people on the internet aren't really going to factor in here.
My husband went to Florida for several days to visit old friends and just get away for a bit. I like to do that too, so it was fine with me. I get a lot done around the house when he's not here. I do agree with what Cantabridgienne is saying, though. Make sure your wife is genuinely cool with the idea. You're married to her, not us. What if she really wants to go with you and ride bicycles and explore the village and drink espresso? I think that sounds lovely and would be hurt if my husband wanted to do that without me.
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Old 04-10-2016, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Western, Colorado
1,599 posts, read 2,677,732 times
Reputation: 937
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
So...all of her income goes to buying shoes and handbags...or to your savings? That makes a big difference. I guess I don't like the implication that since you make all the money you're entitled to something...just SAY IT, don't imply it. She does take care of the kids/home? Let's hear that side as well.
Just didn't want people to think this was on the fruits of her labor/dime.

She give a lot of her money to her fiscally irresponsible family, and pays off her school loans.
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Old 04-10-2016, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Western, Colorado
1,599 posts, read 2,677,732 times
Reputation: 937
We also have Au Pair that lives with us, so she wouldn't be overwhelmed with the kids.
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