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Old 05-26-2016, 03:11 PM
 
6,824 posts, read 4,874,288 times
Reputation: 3724

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ratherbcrazycatlady View Post
My intention is not to rip you apart, but if you're still using a profile I would like to make a suggestion.
Your comments and opinions on CD-R are much more interesting than this sample you have provided. A potential date reading your questionnaire-type message might not be in the mood to answer generalized, interview style questions.

I think one of my headlines was: "If you can't be nice, can you at least be funny?"

(My attempt to get a message from someone with a sense of humor, a real opinion, something to say. I'm not hostile and bitter, but I am easily bored.)

I enjoy sarcasm and do like smartasses. They aren't always nice and PC. There are popular lakes with walking trails in my community. All first date suggestions seem to be aimed at this or coffee, SO UNORIGINAL I just don't even entertain it. The response I received that made me message back was:

"Ive decided after this experience what I really need is a dog, want to go to the Humane Society with me? BTW, I do not like coffee and will not be going for a walk around the lake! I'm going to start going up to couples outside of Caribou Coffee looking uncomfortable and ask: "so does she look like her picture?, will you be going for a walk around the lake?--they all surely met on OLD since that's all they can come up with!"

All aimed at likes and interests from my profile, but INTERESTING.

Keep trying, in order to attract someone you will like, you have to be your real self.
thanks for replying. I'm not really sure what needs to be done to harness a response. I think I'm pretty much myself on my profile. I'm not trying to be someone else. Maybe I come across as uninteresting, but I'm sure there are a lot more boring profiles out there.

In life generally things happen in a more natural way. I'm not sitting there catching advise on what i need to do to get noticed.

Generally just a situation and the two share a moment together. I can joke around a bit and make the girl smile. The opportunities for me are vastly increased in real life encounters. Work is actually a goldmine for these types of encounters, but we all know it's not good to play where you work.

I don't think one can really tell how boring or exciting they be due to an online profile. Either way whatever I have on OLD is not getting a response.
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Old 05-26-2016, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Delaware County, PA
2,377 posts, read 2,087,949 times
Reputation: 3997
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81 View Post
There is an attitude that projects with a majority of the women available online.

"Ive been on here 4 years and its always the same thing the same story ppl always talk a big game but never follow threw or they just expect barbie to fall into their lap and have it be perfect ."

(ie whining and complaining with the first words on her profile)

I'm just looking to date for now, I have a 7month old daughter, she will always come first. I want something real. Don't have time or tolerate games

Why do so many women feel it's necessary to point out that the child comes first which basically means you the man will come 3rd? Also why do so many women put in their profile regarding not tolerating "games". Like people that are doing that will listen regardless.

[I"]I am looking for a serious relationship I don't want someone who will be an ***hole towards me "[/i]

Of course she doesn't want someone to be an A Hole to her. She feels it's necessary however to put this in her profile. Projects an attitude.

"Hey! I am looking for a relationship at this point in my life. I'm not looking for a one night stand or a random hookup."

why the need to further repeat that she's not looking for a random hookup? It states that she is looking for a relationship which in turn means that she isn't looking to hook up. It projects a defensive attitude from the beginning

I love to sing and dance even though I'm not very good at all. There really isn't a song I don't know the lyrics to so, if that annoys you, keep walking.

Telling people she hasn't even met yet to "keep walking" if they don't like something about her. Projects a combative personality

I'm looking for future love not bull****.

She finishes off the profile with this. Of course she's not looking for bull****. So why put it in the profile?

This is only a sample obviously.

While all these are from the POF website, I don't find much of a different with the paid sites. Oddly I tend to find more bots on paid sites like Match.com.

Ladies if you are truly looking to put up a profile online and want to attract good men, leave out this type of attitude. Say what you are looking for and not what you are not looking for. Keep things in the positive light not the negative.

No man wants to be with a complaining, combative individual with an attitude.
You spend way too much time on OkCupid and POF.
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Old 05-27-2016, 10:42 AM
 
597 posts, read 250,901 times
Reputation: 740
To be fair a woman can get inundated with messages from guys wanting to bed them when they might just want a relationship. Stating in a profile they don't want hookups and casual sex should at least reduce those type of messages.

I agree though that it's not particularly likely to attract a good man if a message is full of a defensive or negative attitude. It's like a man saying "I don't want any gold-diggers or b*tches."
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Old 05-27-2016, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
3,749 posts, read 2,001,266 times
Reputation: 4634
Quote:
Originally Posted by gazzaa2 View Post
To be fair a woman can get inundated with messages from guys wanting to bed them when they might just want a relationship. Stating in a profile they don't want hookups and casual sex should at least reduce those type of messages.

I agree though that it's not particularly likely to attract a good man if a message is full of a defensive or negative attitude. It's like a man saying "I don't want any gold-diggers or b*tches."
The problem is some guys believe that if a woman says "no hookups/casual sex", that they don't really mean it. In some cases, they aren't wrong.
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Old 05-27-2016, 03:50 PM
 
6,119 posts, read 2,308,346 times
Reputation: 9775
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81 View Post
thanks for replying. I'm not really sure what needs to be done to harness a response. I think I'm pretty much myself on my profile. I'm not trying to be someone else... Maybe I come across as uninteresting, but I'm sure there are a lot more boring profiles out there.
Oh never-mind the advice, apparently I'm not as successful at this as I thought
First message of the day: "We're meant to be, want to know why?...." And he keeps checking my profile.
Main profile pic: spikey 80s hair what appears to be no shirt, black spiked dog collar.
2nd profile pic: extra tall stilts, juggling in front of audience.

I guess my "different profile" has caught the serious attention of a sadomasochistic juggler.
Coupled with the nightgown wearing catlover not too long ago, I think it's time for a break....
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Old 05-27-2016, 03:52 PM
 
Location: Manchester, UK
918 posts, read 457,219 times
Reputation: 1861
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81 View Post
thanks for replying. I'm not really sure what needs to be done to harness a response. I think I'm pretty much myself on my profile. I'm not trying to be someone else. Maybe I come across as uninteresting, but I'm sure there are a lot more boring profiles out there.
Mike, I have seen your actual profile on POF. It does not convey your character (or any kind of personality at all really), it's very generic. The advise that ratherbcrazycatlady has given you is spot on
I know writing profiles isn't easy - and while your profile isn't necessarily bad, it's not good either. There are tons of profiles out there that are a hell of a lot worse than yours - definitely - but there are also many more that are better (and by 'better' I mean, they give you a good sense of who the author is).
I'm on online dating, and no matter how much I may like somebody's photos, I also need a good profile to spark my interest!

Nobody is telling you to lie on your profile but I think it would really help if you tried to put more of your personality into it.
Have you ever been on OKCupid at all? I have found that the way their profiles are set up (with different headings etc.), makes it a little easier to get more creative in what you write about. The question/answer section also allows you to show more of what kind of person you are and possible compatibility between you and your matches, in all sorts of different areas.

I feel that you are getting frustrated and I get why - the whole process can become tiresome. BUT online dating is supposed to be fun, please remember that!!
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Old 05-27-2016, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Southern California
15,088 posts, read 16,949,194 times
Reputation: 10278
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81 View Post
There is an attitude that projects with a majority of the women available online.

"Ive been on here 4 years and its always the same thing the same story ppl always talk a big game but never follow threw or they just expect barbie to fall into their lap and have it be perfect ."

(ie whining and complaining with the first words on her profile)

I'm just looking to date for now, I have a 7month old daughter, she will always come first. I want something real. Don't have time or tolerate games

Why do so many women feel it's necessary to point out that the child comes first which basically means you the man will come 3rd? Also why do so many women put in their profile regarding not tolerating "games". Like people that are doing that will listen regardless.

[I"]I am looking for a serious relationship I don't want someone who will be an ***hole towards me "[/i]

Of course she doesn't want someone to be an A Hole to her. She feels it's necessary however to put this in her profile. Projects an attitude.

"Hey! I am looking for a relationship at this point in my life. I'm not looking for a one night stand or a random hookup."

why the need to further repeat that she's not looking for a random hookup? It states that she is looking for a relationship which in turn means that she isn't looking to hook up. It projects a defensive attitude from the beginning

I love to sing and dance even though I'm not very good at all. There really isn't a song I don't know the lyrics to so, if that annoys you, keep walking.

Telling people she hasn't even met yet to "keep walking" if they don't like something about her. Projects a combative personality

I'm looking for future love not bull****.

She finishes off the profile with this. Of course she's not looking for bull****. So why put it in the profile?

This is only a sample obviously.

While all these are from the POF website, I don't find much of a different with the paid sites. Oddly I tend to find more bots on paid sites like Match.com.

Ladies if you are truly looking to put up a profile online and want to attract good men, leave out this type of attitude. Say what you are looking for and not what you are not looking for. Keep things in the positive light not the negative.

No man wants to be with a complaining, combative individual with an attitude.
Post all of this on your online profile.

[tell us how it goes]
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Old 05-27-2016, 04:48 PM
 
6,119 posts, read 2,308,346 times
Reputation: 9775
Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer_Rain View Post
Mike, I have seen your actual profile on POF. It does not convey your character (or any kind of personality at all really), it's very generic. The advise that ratherbcrazycatlady has given you is spot on

Nobody is telling you to lie on your profile but I think it would really help if you tried to put more of your personality into it.

I feel that you are getting frustrated and I get why - the whole process can become tiresome. BUT online dating is supposed to be fun, please remember that!!
Oh thanks, that's very nice of you, I agree, if you can laugh about the 'strange' experiences, it is more fun than not.
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Old 05-27-2016, 05:40 PM
 
6,824 posts, read 4,874,288 times
Reputation: 3724
Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC View Post
Post all of this on your online profile.

[tell us how it goes]
Maybe I should. It does reflect my character and personality. Unfortunately it's not the side I'd like to present I guess to make the best impression, but that doesn't seem to a be concern for many on OLD. I'm kidding of course.


It doesn't matter as I'm getting off of OLD. I'm taking it off as an option to meet woman. I think it does more damage then good. I don't think women respect men as much that are on those sites.


I was getting all kinds of looks in the gym today by some beautiful ladies. It's kind of a small town and I've seen a lot of them in there before. So maybe there's an opportunity. They see me there a good bit. The staff is getting to know me.


So I'll just focus on getting in some crazy good shape. Try to strike up chat when I can. Find more things in the area to get involved with that have potential to meet people.


This defeatist attitude I've developed over time has a lot to do with my experiences with OLD unfortunately. I don't think it in any way reflects reality though. I just need to hang it all up. Nowhere but up from here.
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Old 05-28-2016, 06:24 PM
Status: "Love you more than anything." (set 2 days ago)
 
1,515 posts, read 781,445 times
Reputation: 2111
How does it make him stand out,I almost deleted his message??? Which would have been a real shame as he is the most poetic guy I've ever met and we have had nothing but deep great conversations for two days,normally I don't trust algorithms but in this case the 95 percent match was spot on.


Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356 View Post
He may have did it to stand out.
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