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I am surprised by the responses here. The woman is working and going to school. I know that most of C-D had the luxury of going to school without holding a full-time job, but cut the woman some slack.
Where I work, we have paralegals and Senior paralegals. Our paralegals are always under deadline. Everything that they do is time-sensitive - some governed by law. I can believe that she has work that cannot wait. You do not want to be that paralegal who makes the clerical error that gets the case thrown out of court. You do not want your attorney to walk into court unprepared.
I hate to be rude, but the OP sounds too whiny for me. He should move on - his GF does not need the extra stress.
I also had a few choice words. Until I met my wife I was normally on the other side of this equation. I was the driven one, but driven in order to survive and thrive in a difficult career. It was not an addiction. It sucks being with someone who does not understand financial strength, good fiscal habits and the work ethic.
It doesn't sound like your relationship is her first priority OP. Maybe ask her whether she will have more time once she gets her promotion or finishes school. If things aren't going to change for a while then you either make peace with it or find a relationship where your needs are also considered.
I'm sorry but your post comes off as clingy. It's clear to me that you two are not compatible and you obviously need to find someone more suitable to you. It may be hard to believe, but some people really do like what they do for a living and get a lot of satisfaction.
I don't about how many people here believe in work life balance.
But it appears my current GF has no clue how to juggle a relationship.
When I am trying to make plans to go to the beach for the weekend. She wants to get ahead on the weekend at her job then study for loads of hours for some of the classes she is currently taking at a university to finish up her degree program.
I got nothing against it the problem is that she doesn't put in the effort to spend time together.
She's a Type A personality. Now I like someone that's ambitious don't get me wrong but its hard to develop the relationship more further if we hardly spend time together.
I complain and told her" Why don't you want to spend time with me if it's been 3 weeks.
Then she's like " Sorry I want to get ahead"
At her job shes a Paralegal for a small firm but she says that she has lots of paperwork that can't wait so she has to come in on a Saturday then couple more hours on Sunday.
She's doing it in chances of getting a promotion
Then I said " So you don't want to spend time with me?"
But then shes like " I do but I have so much to do I can't rest"
I try to be supportive and patient about it but if there are 24 hours in a day, it's possible to at least squeeze in some time to spend together.
I don't mean to so like a *****. I like her because we can relate plenty of our goals and we are compatible in many ways.
I told her we could study together too but she said she can't study if she's distracted.
I understand life gets in the way sometimes but even when i'm very busy. I make time always for the people I love and care about no matter how busy I am.
What should I do or tell her? I get along with her in every other way but we don't spend enough time together. And if I do I feel like its a chore to keep reminding her.
tell her you want to see other people, that you are lonely and miss female companionship
then she has to either poop or get off the pot
if you push her to give up her studies or "slack off at work" indirectly it could backfire and she will blame you...you cant MAKE her do anything...you have to do whats right for you, she is either on board or has to deplane
I used to work with a female manager, who made sure everyone knew how dedicated she was to her job and that it came first, even over her family (there is imo something seriously flawed with someone like this)
once in a vain attempt to rally us into committing to a 7 day work schedule for the length of a project, 7-8 months, she said "I do it all the time, there are times when I don't even see my sons or daghters for weeks"...I clapped sarcastically and said "your proud of that? your bragging about being a crappy mom??"
I was removed from her project...lol...she no longer leads a team as most hate her, she is a machine, not a human, and very few can relate to her...she is hot too, and still no one wants to work with her...phhhttt...I feel bad for her husband
I'm not convinced that the OP's girlfriend is truly a "workaholic".
There are some fields (and I believe law is one of them) where a student or young professional MUST bust their tail and put in a lot of hours physically/mentally in order to keep up, get ahead and successfully meet their goals. Symptoms of workaholism may come with the territory for a temporary period.
I suspect that the OP's girlfriend is just driven. That's a good thing.
BTW, I say all of the above as someone who DOES believe in a healthy work-life balance. Note that "work-life balance" means different things in different situations. Everyone has their own healthy balance that works well for them. Oh, and there are situations (a young tech startup trying to get off the ground comes to mind) where there is no clear separation between work and life...they tend to mix together to a substantial degree.
True workaholism is an addiction, an obsession and an escapism from reality. Similar to alcoholism. It's a mental thing.
I don't think the OP and his GF are compatible, at least not right now. The question that should be asked though is why is his girlfriend putting up with HIM? The OP gives off a sense of entitlement and seems clingy, and could end up being an obstacle in her way. She may be better off with someone who "gets" her better and is supportive of her goals and aspirations, even if it means temporarily not having much "break" time to spend together. (If she even has time for a relationship, that is.) This is a big reason why a lot of couples consist of both people being in similar fields or having similar socioeconomic status.
I'm not convinced that the OP's girlfriend is truly a "workaholic".
There are some fields (and I believe law is one of them) where a student or young professional MUST bust their tail and put in a lot of hours physically/mentally in order to keep up, get ahead and successfully meet their goals. Symptoms of workaholism may come with the territory for a temporary period.
I suspect that the OP's girlfriend is just driven. That's a good thing.
BTW, I say all of the above as someone who DOES believe in a healthy work-life balance. Note that "work-life balance" means different things in different situations. Everyone has their own healthy balance that works well for them. Oh, and there are situations (a young tech startup trying to get off the ground comes to mind) where there is no clear separation between work and life...they tend to mix together to a substantial degree.
True workaholism is an addiction, an obsession and an escapism from reality. Similar to alcoholism. It's a mental thing.
I don't think the OP and his GF are compatible, at least not right now. The question that should be asked though is why is his girlfriend putting up with HIM? The OP gives off a sense of entitlement and seems clingy, and could end up being an obstacle in her way. She may be better off with someone who "gets" her better and is supportive of her goals and aspirations, even if it means temporarily not having much "break" time to spend together. (If she even has time for a relationship, that is.) This is a big reason why a lot of couples consist of both people being in similar fields or having similar socioeconomic status.
I don't expect my gf to give up her education or job.
I want to spend quality time together
I strictly put in my 40 hours for the week then head out
Today is a good day to go out.
I orginally planned for her to meet my family and friends but shes at work, and im like well can you come after work?
Im not clingy but I do expect to spend time with my gf.
Shes tells me even her friends and family complain they don't see her often.
I probably will break it off with her.
As much as I like her I need a woman compansionship
Even when I went to school I was able to manage my life even with my friends and family ( soccer games, family events, birthday parties etc)
The problem is that now with this weekend its been a month.
Shes worth more than just spending 3 hours with but lately shes just working so much along with school
Her degree program should be finished in a year and a half.
I don't expect my gf to give up her education or job.
I want to spend quality time together
I strictly put in my 40 hours for the week then head out
Today is a good day to go out.
I orginally planned for her to meet my family and friends but shes at work, and im like well can you come after work?
Im not clingy but I do expect to spend time with my gf.
Shes tells me even her friends and family complain they don't see her often.
I probably will break it off with her.
As much as I like her I need a woman compansionship
Even when I went to school I was able to manage my life even with my friends and family ( soccer games, family events, birthday parties etc)
The problem is that now with this weekend its been a month.
Shes worth more than just spending 3 hours with but lately shes just working so much along with school
Her degree program should be finished in a year and a half.
She couldn't join you for dinner? She has to eat dinner somewhere, why wouldn't she offer to meet you and everyone for dinner, after she's done with work? It's a small gesture that would mean a lot for someone who's supposedly a loved one (you). Are you sure she's truly into you?
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