Regret tummy tuck. (children, sex, attractive, sexy)

[LakeLifePA]

Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate

This. Sounds like your husband still loves you. He's still attracted to you. And he lets you make your own choices about your body. But like many, he probably has a breaking point for how much whining he can take.

Absolutely, what good is continually complaining to him going to do anyway? Seriously, when you make your own bed, sleep in it. Letting your sex life suffer for something you wanted is not good for your marriage.

Originally Posted by reneeh63

The numbness will very likely fade over time - when you cut the skin you cut the nerves. It'll take months but will go from numb to tingly and then to normal.

This is not always true. I had knee surgery 22 years ago and that side of my leg is still numb. When nerves are damaged it is generally forever. Other nerves can take over, but I'm guessing her incision is quite lengthy. My wife donated half her liver to her mother 12 years ago and barely has any feeling to this day in her midsection.

BTW OP, my wife has very noticeable scarring from her liver surgery for her mother, and we have an incredible sex life. She is a little self conscious about it, but doesn't let it get in the way of our healthy relationship.

[D217]

As others have suggested, massage the area. Make time to do this every day, with some organic oils, and with love. Also, start stretching & exercising. You have to be pro-active about healing yourself. It will work, you'll see. *

[Metaphysique]

I'd suggest seeing a therapist to help you work through this. The numbness and scar are risks that come with the procedure. The scar will fade overtime, and hopefully the numbness will, too.

I have every intention to get a breast lift/aug once I'm finished nursing my youngest and my weight loss has stabilized. I was very close to getting it done about four years ago. There are risks, and I knew that before, and will know that when moving forward with it in the future. My husband is fully supportive of my choice. If I were dealing with post-op issues similar to what you've expressed, where there is no remedy, just time to heal, I'd visit a therapist. He/she may be able to help you sort through your feelings and offer advice and insight into why you're struggling with the change.

[Metaphysique]

Originally Posted by JasperJade

You're not fully recovered yet. As others have said, it can take up to a year, and the scar will continue to fade. If it's really bugging you, ask a dermatologist what can be done, not your internist or the person who did the surgery. Scars are a skin thing. The numbness should fade in time, too.

Your husband is probably aggravated because he loves you just fine, scar and all. Imagine if he constantly complained about his looks somehow. You might get tired of telling him how gorgeous he is, how much you find him attractive, and that a scar is really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. You also might get tired of dealing with it in the bedroom, especially if it keeps you from having sex. Hey, a gal's got needs, right?

Time to reframe: Make an investment in a super sexy dress, something body conscious (aka "bodycon") that you wouldn't have been able to wear before that really shows off your new figure. Send the kids to grandma's or a sitter's for the night and plan a hot date around the dress. Go all out, shoes, nails, hair, make-up, whatever it is you do to look your best. Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and marvel at this hot mama looking back at you and what modern medicine can do. While the two of you are out, have someone take a full-length picture of you together, one you can put in a frame and put on your nightstand as a reminder, because chances are that when you get home, you're going to be swinging from the chandelier, if you know what I mean.

And this. Do what she said.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by DoctorLove01

I suggest a therapist or an independent counselor as well. There are often many underlying psychological issues that drive people to perform plastic surgeries or some other such nonsense. If you cant accept your body, there isn't much your husband will be able to help you with, especially is he has no impact on how you feel in this area. If you real want god honest truth, you had the surgery performed because you want to be attractive to other men, not your husband. He already accepted you as you were.

Why do you think the bolded? Maybe she wanted to feel attractive to herself. That's most of it with most people. People can find us physically attractive but we don't find ourselves attractive. Yeah, I would agree some therapy might help there, but it isn't necessarily about what other people think.

[hawaiiancoconut]

Originally Posted by DoctorLove01

I suggest a therapist or an independent counselor as well. There are often many underlying psychological issues that drive people to perform plastic surgeries or some other such nonsense. If you cant accept your body, there isn't much your husband will be able to help you with, especially is he has no impact on how you feel in this area. If you real want god honest truth, you had the surgery performed because you want to be attractive to other men, not your husband. He already accepted you as you were.

I have to admit, this was the first thing that came to mind while reading her OP. I just wasn't brazen as you to mention it. Just rude, LOl.

I think, a lot of the things we do to our physical appearance is to gain social acceptance.

[oh-eve]

First you whine about the belly pouch. Then you spent $$$$$ on making it go away. Now you whine about the scar. What do you expect your husband to do, make it magically disappear? Give the poor guy a break.


I understand your issue, it must be tough. However, burdening your husband with it won't help. I suggest to dim the lights during sex, try all the before mentioned scar treatment and learn to live with it. 6 months is nothing, the scar will look very different in another 6 months. Hang in there.
What does the doctor say, doesn't the scar heal much more? Didn't you look at before and after pics before you got the surgery?

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by DoctorLove01

I think this way, because behind each one of us wanting to feel attractive, there is a motive.

Yeah, lots of that time its so we feel good about ourselves and like the way we look. It's internal. As is most of the negative criticisms about ourselves, its also mainly internal.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by DoctorLove01

I suggest a therapist or an independent counselor as well. There are often many underlying psychological issues that drive people to perform plastic surgeries or some other such nonsense. If you cant accept your body, there isn't much your husband will be able to help you with, especially is he has no impact on how you feel in this area. If you real want god honest truth, you had the surgery performed because you want to be attractive to other men, not your husband. He already accepted you as you were.

That's a big leap, "doc."

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by DoctorLove01

Not rude, just direct. I was born a man, so I act like one.

A man can be direct without being rude. It's called having class and maturity.