Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-29-2016, 01:53 PM
 
4,380 posts, read 4,436,024 times
Reputation: 4437

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by blowmyheadoff View Post
is it wrong for a man to love his ex's kid, who is not his? is it normal?
An excellent step-parent will love children who do not belong to them. Depending on how long they were together and if he treated her as if she was his, he likely cannot just turn that off. Would you really want to be with someone who could?

I dated someone once who missed being a step-parent to his ex's kids so badly he decided he was going to win her back even though she had moved on and was living with someone else. He didn't want the ex back, he just wanted to be Dad to her kids. That, I did not find normal as he told me their relationship was very volatile.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-29-2016, 01:53 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,882,406 times
Reputation: 8594
Quote:
Originally Posted by blowmyheadoff View Post
thank you for all your replies. Everyone is right, i should leave him. i want to but for some odd reason it is very hard. and he just won't leave. is it wrong for a man to love his ex's kid, who is not his? is it normal?
A person can get attached to a kid and want to stay in the kids life. That is actually potentially admirable. All the other things you talk about, however, are not normal in a healthy relationship.

This guy is manipulative and very bad for you. The fact that you don't see this and have trouble getting out of the relationship tells me that you have a lot of dysfunction in your past. I have to conclude that this current relationship is just one of a string of dysfunctional ones that you have had.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2016, 01:59 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,687 posts, read 19,833,013 times
Reputation: 42955
Quote:
Originally Posted by blowmyheadoff View Post
Hello everyone and thank you for reading! I need an advice really bad. My head will explode if i don't figure this out!
I've with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I thought he was the one. I used to get butterflies in my stomach when i saw him. we were friends and then we started talking and liked each other. he did help me through very tough times. what sucks is that we never got to have normal relationship:dating, going out etc. we had to deal with all kinds of issues everyday. i was in love with him and one day he left his email open and i found out he was talking to women on different websites. it was some dirty disgusting stuff! i though my life was over. i was dumb enough to forgive and moved to a different state for him. and then i kept busting him with different women online. it got to the point i was scared to look when he left something on! there was always something. he kept promising that it was nothing and he just had self-esteem issues and needed to know that women still found him ok. i never talked to any guys, but he kept blaming me for having some invisible boyfriend. i do get attention from men, but i just don't think this is right. moreover, he lived with his ex for a long time and she had a kid. my boyfriend loves that girl so much even though she is not his daughter. he tell me that he doesn't want the kids of his own, that he is not going to be a good day, but he loves that woman's daughter!!!! from another man!!! having children is essential for me. he doesn't get it. he blames me for hating that kid. he doesn't understand that it hurts to see your man run to some other guy's kid and listen how he doesn't want his own. he also keeps telling me he would propose and the reason why he hasn't is because he didn't have the ring. i mean seriously. he has money to buy very expensive presents for that kid but he won't marry me without the ring. he always talks marriage when i tell him i want to leave him. those are just some of the issues. i am so upset over all this. i suffer depression and take pills. i can not take this anymore. am i wrong to hate this guy for loving someone's kid and not wanting his own and not proposing? should forgive his online cheating? i tell him to leave but he won't. please help with any advice.thanks
This guy is not making you feel well. You have the constant anxiety feeling when he is online and you are jealous that he doesn't mind being a father figure to somebody else's child but doesn't want to have children with you. This feeling will not go away. He will not marry you because he made it very clear that he still wants to be desired by other women. He will get less attention with a wedding ring, so I don't see a marriage on your horizon.
Find somebody who is better to you and doesn't cheat on you. Yes, even though he might not meet those women, he is CHEATING.


Go away, move back where you came from and maybe then you will see a little more clear and won't need any pills anymore. Do you have family and friends back home? Go to them for support and don't listen to that guys empty promises.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2016, 07:24 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,372 posts, read 24,346,804 times
Reputation: 17376
Time to move back home. Don't discuss it with him, simply pack your things and go.

Nothing's going to change, until you leave and start your life elsewhere.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2016, 08:12 PM
 
212 posts, read 161,448 times
Reputation: 491
What difference does it make if he proposes or not? You are setting yourself to be hurt and fail to realize that he is not husband material. Don't you want someone who will value and love you to share you dreams and life together.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top