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It lost it's luster for me, because I knew I wanted the emotional connection and I didn't want or feel an emotional connection with them. My itch would be scratched, but sometimes I'd feel quite empty after the whole ordeal. I'm not doing anything sexually or even dating wise right now. I'm working on getting myself healthy emotionally and physically, so that I can hopefully attain a better relationship for me and for her.
If you know deep down that you want a relationship then you have to make those hard decisions that keep you from attaining that relationship. I know that me sleeping around did just that.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
If you know deep down that you want a relationship then you have to make those hard decisions that keep you from attaining that relationship. I know that me sleeping around did just that.
You're saying having sex with people kept you from finding the relationship you want? If so, how?
You're saying having sex with people kept you from finding the relationship you want? If so, how?
Let's just say I kept my options open far too long. By sleeping around, and keeping those options, I found myself not committing to the relationships I was in. I don't think sex is a bad thing at all. During certain times in my life, I was rotating more than just one woman, so I kinda got spoiled with sleeping with multiple women. It left me emotionally immature in a sense.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
Let's just say I kept my options open far too long. By sleeping around, and keeping those options, I found myself not committing to the relationships I was in. I don't think sex is a bad thing at all. During certain times in my life, I was rotating more than just one woman, so I kinda got spoiled with sleeping with multiple women. It left me emotionally immature in a sense.
Fair enough. I get that. I don't think, for me personally, it has prevented me from having the relationship I want, its just that most women I meet aren't interested in relationship. Sometimes they aren't interested in monogamy with me, lots of times they aren't with anyone.
Fair enough. I get that. I don't think, for me personally, it has prevented me from having the relationship I want, its just that most women I meet aren't interested in relationship. Sometimes they aren't interested in monogamy with me, lots of times they aren't with anyone.
And I believe that's perfectly fine as well. Monogamy is not for everyone, but I know I don't really enjoy spending money on experiences with different women. I much rather truly focus on the investment with one woman and let the others fall to the side. Making bad investments is my middle name when it comes to dating.
I've created some healthy boundaries that have really helped me get some clarity.
It lost it's luster for me, because I knew I wanted the emotional connection and I didn't want or feel an emotional connection with them. My itch would be scratched, but sometimes I'd feel quite empty after the whole ordeal. I'm not doing anything sexually or even dating wise right now. I'm working on getting myself healthy emotionally and physically, so that I can hopefully attain a better relationship for me and for her.
If you know deep down that you want a relationship then you have to make those hard decisions that keep you from attaining that relationship. I know that me sleeping around did just that.
I think that if you want more than sex, stop leading with sex. Go on dates and get to know the person to see if they're someone you want to be with in other ways than sexually.
I think that if you want more than sex, stop leading with sex. Go on dates and get to know the person to see if they're someone you want to be with in other ways than sexually.
Hence why I've set some boundaries in my personal life. With women I really liked, and I felt they felt the same about me, sex wasn't the issue. We both wanted that. They'd just flame out.
For the time being, I'm on a vow of celibacy until I can meet someone who I believe there's a future with. It hasn't been completely horrible so far, which has been great.
Hence why I've set some boundaries in my personal life. With women I really liked, and I felt they felt the same about me, sex wasn't the issue. We both wanted that. They'd just flame out.
For the time being, I'm on a vow of celibacy until I can meet someone who I believe there's a future with. It hasn't been completely horrible so far, which has been great.
Yes I'm having a sort of break from dating as well and even shagging
I'm enjoying it and as posted earlier I find it healthy to take a break especially when you get bored
Plus the next time you get lucky or meet someone she will think " wow he's keen!!" LMAO!
To be honest Im starting to feel more the emotional side. I don't have those same sex urges unless I get along with the girl really good.
I got emotionally hurt when I got ghosted so it kinda made me realize what the girls who didn't like random hook ups understand them more.
I felt empty thou like after you have sex with someone and they just disappeared.
I still feel a bit hurt when the woman I was with ghosted me but I'm over it now. I don't really like one night stands now I want to be with someone Long term like plan picnic dates, come home cuddle with, cook for, and have tea together, and of course still have the hot passionate sex as long as she stays with me.
idk I just feel more emotional now im kind of afraid to admit this as a man but I gotten more sensitive now.
I didn't felt like that before but now I do.
First time I've heard of sensitivety inspiring fear. Its something that we learn from being hurt, and from others hurt by our actions. Being hurt yourself is often easier than having hurt someone. Not wanting to give out or receive pain isn't something that should cause fear. As a man, yon should freely embrace sensitivity. Not be embarrassed by it. If you truly want a real relationship, and you have co.e to the point you are in touch with your emotional side, its time to develop that awareness.
I was never a player, or bed hopper. Been in contact with my emotions since I was quite young. I always had this silly notion about having a relationship with a woman who could be my best friend, lover confidant, who I would give my life for. I thought I had found it a couple times, and wound up getting and giving out hurt. Sometimes its a good thing to know when to let off the gas. Lest ye become a member of the over the bars club, laying on the track, bleeding, with the rest of the pack running over you.
As it turns out, I didn't find the real thing till pretty late in life. Settled for second best for 20 years of a miserable marriage, because the throttle got stuck. If you want the real thing, patience is a virtue. Actually taking the time to get to know a gal, spe ding time in other things besides sex, learning to open up, and the biggy, to listen, will take you far. And, remember this, what starts with sex, more often than not, ends with sex. That is something I have not seen an exception to in my 51 years of living.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
And I believe that's perfectly fine as well. Monogamy is not for everyone, but I know I don't really enjoy spending money on experiences with different women. I much rather truly focus on the investment with one woman and let the others fall to the side. Making bad investments is my middle name when it comes to dating.
Oh, I get that. Dating around is pricey. I am focusing on one person now, but quite honestly it is hard from having 4-5 dates a week and having sex multiple times a week to going back to trying to schedule 1 or 2 dates a week (last week 3, this week none) and one overnight a week. It's a challenge. I think the potential with this person is totally worth it (it takes a lot of looking around to find someone you're interested in having a relationship with that is interested in having one with you too), and I'm saving money, but yeah, its not the easiest switch to flip.
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LMAO!
